Chrissie Hynde, No!

I was up late watching TV with my husband when I learned that Chrissie Hynde has formed a new band.   To my horror, she was playing second fiddle, so to speak, to her new beloved, JP Jones, an annoying Welshman half her age.

In case anyone failed to notice the age difference, she warbles it in the song “Perfect Lover.” (I found my perfect lover, but he’s only half my age…) In fact, she and this guy have released an entire album of songs about their doomed relationship. Evidently, Jones wants to raise a family and at 58, Chrissie has hung up her childbearing spurs.

My husband brought home the new CD the other day, and our son asked about it. I explained, “It’s Chrissie Hynde and some douche in a hat.” My husband begged to differ, in a sharp tone. He had seen them perform that afternoon and Chrissie had autographed his CD.

Still, it’s awful. Not just awful, but so awful that I longed to jump out of the car when we had to listen to it on a ninety minute road trip. All the songs are “nakedly” autobiographical, with lyrics like “I’m old, you’re not” ” you surprised me in the bar when I decided to take you home.” It’s like reading the diary of someone you admire and finding a bunch of LOL’s and smiley face thingies.

Poor Chrissie. She is so besotted with this douche that she’s lost all judgment. These songs prove beyond a doubt that a little ambiguity is vital where pop songs are concerned, unless you’re a poet like Hank Williams Sr. It was so embarrassing to listen to this shit, I had to cover my face to endure it.

Patti Smith got herself a cute young guy and let him play in her band, in the background. Not only that, he was a babe. Chrissie, call Patti to find out how it’s done, before that douche empties your bank account!

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38 Responses to Chrissie Hynde, No!

  1. Alison Cross says:

    Crap CD aside, Ms Hynde is still looking SMOKING for 58!!!!!

  2. Sister Wolf says:

    Alison – Anyone would with all that “work” on her face! She’s almost Chinese now!

  3. Juri says:

    “I’m old your not”. I hope I’ll never hear the song but I can already see the video. It’s probably black and white with heavy rain and empty staring trough a wet window. When Chrissie Hynde goes “I’m old your not”, the not old person leans his head against hers and goes “I’n not, I’m not”.

    Chrissie, call me once you’ve finished your call to Patti. Let’s make that video happen. Or maybe I’ll just write a song called “We don’t care if he’s young (Oh Oh Oh)” and hire a Catholic boys choir to sing it.

  4. janet says:

    hence the saying, love is blind.

  5. Cricket9 says:

    Oh, dear (I think that’s what old ladies say). “I’m old, you’re not”? WTF??! I had a relationship with a 28 year old; it started at my 40 birthday party. It lasted 10 years, we are still good friends. The last thing I wanted to advertise was “I’m old, you’re not”. I thought people can figure out that there is an age difference on their own, if they wanted to.

  6. K-Line says:

    This depresses the crap out of me.

  7. Alison Cross says:

    Surely Chrissie Hynde would NOT have work? She’s the skinny-thighed rock chick that I wanted to be. I always thought she was too cool to worry about insignificant shit like the odd facial crease. Just focused on her music, man.

    Am gutted…. *blubs quietly in the corner*

    Ali x

  8. Suspended says:

    Haha Sister wolf, perhaps she is a fashion asian.

  9. Aja says:

    In the words for Sheryl Crow “if it makes you happy . . . ”
    When it comes to matters of the heart, I think people can decide for themselves what they need and what they don’t. She looks pretty happy . . .

    And maybe she wants to be in the background. She’s had her stardom.

  10. Visual Vamp says:

    I hope she dumps the douche. What a sad moment for a woman of her wise years. And he ruined her damn face, and she certainly ruined her cred as a cool chic.
    She should not only look at Patti Smith for inspiration, but also at Yoko Ono.
    Young guys like the douche are a dime a dozen. And there is only one Chrissie Hynde.
    xo xo

  11. JK says:

    Yes Alison, let the gaze drop below the chin – but that’s not why I’m calling SW. I’m calling to express my sincere thanks to you because I think I mentioned Chrissie in one of our correspondences.

    I’m thinking the only reason you rode through the smileys and lols was to save my a$$ out of concern of what I’d do once news of the cds release reached Arkansas.

    My love for you is intact SW. (HelOnWheels – that ‘love’ is like the love between a sychophant and his reverend teacher – our love of course is different).

  12. This is so funny! As a Welsh person born and bred I was crying with laughter about the fairground inspiration stuff. Hynde and Jones make it sound so romantic almost Romany but the reality is the fairground is in Porthcawl South Wales – it is a tatty little number and lets just say we are not talking Coney Island here. I can’t be too mean as Mr MDS’s family own a caravan park there and make a mint, but again fairly basic!

    Honestly why do some women lose it over love. I’m glad now I annoyed her in France once in my gauche youth when I remonstrated with her on why she wouldn’t let us in to see the Pretenders. For the life of me I can’t remember how it happened but in my youth I threw in the ‘what do you expect from old people’ quip as my parting line. Gosh I was horrid, must be the Welsh douche in me.

  13. RLC says:

    There is something spunky about a woman in her 50s picking up a babin’ younger man. But there is something desperate about that woman releasing an album full of songs that scream “look at him! Look how young he is! I’ve still got it girls!!!!!!”

  14. Witch Moma says:

    She’ll just keep dancing faster & faster to justify this relationship. There’s a light at the end of this tunnel . . . . . . . . .

  15. Silke says:

    Patti Smith is my personal hero. I recently even bought a shirt with her picture on… so corny. Need to read more on her new cute young guy!
    SW, i’m forever only lurking, but i love your blog and i love your fearlessness in expressing your opinion. Please never quit and never change 🙂 You bring smiles with your posts to all over the planet (in my case –> Germany)

  16. BethUK says:

    That’s depressing. Just seeing the photo made me want to punch that face – even before I read your post. It’s like he’s showing us just how much of a douche he is while she smiles on unaware.

  17. They’ve been talked about way too much lately. And she keeps trying to say, “we’re not together!”

  18. I seem to remember more than one cougar lusting after that callow youth, Colin Ferrel.. Is the excuse, “Well, I’d fuck ‘im but I wouldn’t sing about it..”

  19. slimeylimey says:

    Sister Wolf, I am surprised at you reading Chrissie so harsh- you almost sound resentful that about an attractive mature woman who was a fantastic singer when i was his age is now getting jackhammered by an idiot boy in suspenders. Let her work that tireless wiener while she may, in her September. It’s older gentlemen like myself who should be enraged that today’s brainfree youth is not only mauling girls their own age, but even the 50 plus crowd! Surrender to the fact that Chrissie is getting more than most of us, just for today! Ta haine va disparaitre! x

  20. Sister Wolf says:

    slimeylimey – Oh, by all means let her get jackhammered right up to December! Just don’t have your face changed or put out an embarrassing CD about it! That is the issue.

  21. Sister Wolf says:

    dexter – Correct.

  22. Sister Wolf says:

    Make DO – Hahahahaha, I had no idea you had any Welsh douche in you!

  23. Hallie says:

    Omg that sucks so much. I really love The Pretenders and always thought she was so badass. She still looks fantastic. And even though my husband is 32 years my senior, I couldn’t imagine being with a younger man, especially not a significantly younger man. The thought is completely horrifying and repulsive to me, like dating one of my little brother’s friends. Different strokes, I guess.

  24. Cricket9 says:

    Definitely different strokes, Hallie, definitely… I can’t imagine being with a man 30 years my senior – it would be like dating one of my dad’s friends (who are, by the way, mostly dead by now). Aargh.

  25. Marky says:

    She could do better. Anyone could.

  26. karin says:

    I see a lot of heartbreak ahead for Chrissie, and I’m sorry about that because I love her. And probably a lot of embarrassment ahead too (about that cd)…*sigh*

  27. jools says:

    Quick. Somebody hide her estrogen cream.

  28. firefly says:

    Sister Wolf: Chinese? Really? Now that disturbs me…

  29. dorkmyster says:

    SHe does look happy…or is it just that permanently surprised look? Maybe the agony of the heartbreak gives her potential for some good music in like… 3 months.

  30. MJ says:

    I’m falling off of my chair laughing about “poet Hank Williams Jr.” As much of a fan of outlaw country, roots rock, country rock, etc. as anyone else, I AM SO FING SICK AND TIRED OF HANK JR AND HIS DADDY COMPLEX.

    Dude – you have two themes. Daddy and “rowdy friends.” Get another theme or two.

  31. Ann says:

    SHIT. Chrissie and her “new band” just signed on to play a music festival I am seeing in October. Until now, I had been excited to see her.

  32. HelOnWheels says:

    She looks happy but he looks like a massive wanker. She definitely should have taken a page from Patti’s book.

    I dated men significantly younger than I. It makes sense to me at this point in my life: men my age are children, want children, not interested in women their own age, act older than their age, and have let themselves go (as a generalization) and can’t keep up with me/my interests/energy level/my repulsion of sitting on my ass doing nothing.

    JK – I would NEVER leave you for a younger man….
    …while you are still alive. I hope you’re well, my cyber-soul-mate.

  33. Erika says:

    All the songs are “nakedly” autobiographical, with lyrics like “I’m old, you’re not”
    i have terrible PMS and this made me laugh hard. Sweet relief.

    I imagine they get off on how “taboo” the whole thing is and how it can only last so long. Yawn.

  34. Erika says:

    oh yeah, I also have recently done the younger dude thing and it can be humiliating. I got picked up on by a younger dude – 12 years younger. He looked like a baby, seemed much too innocent. I had no idea what was what with him. He was surprising to say the least. I thought he must think I am younger than I am. We became friends on Facebook and I looked at his page where he referenced his love for “cougars” ….
    I just can’t deal with that.
    I won’t be anyone’s mommy, or older lady experience

  35. mick666 says:

    I’ve seen her up close recently and believe me there was no work…this looks like a bit of botox. Yes folks put down those hamburgers and pick up those veggies for a life of meat-eating will make your skin dull and your insides will turn to shit! PS she looks chinese because she still worships at the alter of kohl eyes! Y’all just jealous. I think she looks quite good for 59!…and yeah she’s kept her figure in tact as well….. Oh and she’ll be back with the Pretenders next year….

  36. Sister Wolf says:

    mick666- So are you the PR guy?? Do they know that you think “intact” is two words??

  37. tressie says:

    thanks sister for saving me from listening to it…I was ascared it would be baaadd in a bad way, just like accidentally listening to Hank Jr. ugh.Well, thank the heavens for Patti Smith …

  38. hammiesays says:

    Maybe he is scratching an itch that has not been scratched for a while?

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