A company called SRANGEBEAUTIFUL has come up with some sets of nail polish designed to appeal to the Proustian-minded among us.
“….a range of 10 diaphanous veils of wildly haunting colors with inspiration ranging from the vampiric gradations of a healing bruise; the moody rusts of menstrual blood; sooty, phantasmal India ink; the profile of a gray blue Heron scooping fish against a background of gooey river runoff and the apocalyptic color palette of Medieval Flemish paintings. Visceral and private, each shade cloaks the finger in an aqueous film of color for an effect that is strange, beautiful, and impossible to forget.”
Hahahahaha! Isn’t that fantastic???? Other sets are avilable, each absurdly pretentious.
I like how this set includes the color “Menstrual Last Day.” Hopefully they have “First Day of Menstruation” in one of the other sets.
I love colors and the names for colors. I loved my box of crayola crayons as much for the names as the actual colors. When Max was little, we deferred to his acute appreciation of color by showing him something of indeterminate hue and asking him, “What do you call this color, Max?” He would take a moment to consider and say something like, “I call it tan.”
In the spirit of STRANGEBEAUTIFUL, I want to invent my own set of nail polish colors:
Cubism
Gruyere
Still Spotting
Hep C
Wittgenstein
Virgin Birth
Mishima Cultist Coral
Clogged Drain
Hypothermia Blue
Have a look at the nail polish here. $85 per set.
And contribute your own colors if you are so inclined!
Whatever that color is in the lowlights of the hair just after 1:55.
Don’t think it’d be called blonde though.
My favorite is clogged drain which I think will compliment a hole in my bathroom ceiling (not kidding) that my landlord butchered couple of days ago because of the upstairs leak, which all started with a…. clogged drain.
Eschar
Migraine Aura
God Particle
Plateau Pink
Clam Chowder
Toccata
Skidmarks
Eminence Grise
Bevitron – Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
I think I’d buy pretty much ANYTHING called ‘Mishima Cultist Coral’…
Bevitron – SKIDMARKS
HAHAHAHHAHAHAAA
Sis and Bevitron et al! What a festive, cheery post for this holiday season! Laughing my boughs off! What about that color in the old Crayola box called “flesh”. It deserves a place of honor. Happy holidays, y’all. Mo
Ugh. I absolutely hate it when you can, as my husband says, “smell the oil of the lamp” in the descriptions of products. Why not just say you need this stuff to be happy?
Maybe they’re doing it on purpose, in which case they should just use names like Pretentious Pink, Bitchin’ Blue, Really Red, Not Really Red (handy, actually, as you could use this one for just about any non-red item), etc.?
Oh, and, still laughing over Still Spotting and Clogged Drain.
wow. you are on a roll.
!!!!!!!!!!!
this is almost as exciting as when we were all Sea of Jane haterz
Why do these people use several words I’ve never heard in their description of fucking nail polish? English is not my native language, but damn it!
Here’s a blog for you to hate if you want to. I’ll link you to one divine higlight of a post. It’s actually a reader submission, but it’s also the dumbest shit I’ve come across today:
http://www.imboycrazy.com/2011/11/reader-submission-a-high-school-girl-and-her-teacher/
I really like your blog. Happy holidays!
Ooooo, it’s fun!
Let’s see,
Espadrille
Discharge
Omelette
Redshift
Tao Te Bling
Fugue You
Night Train
Johnson
And, uh…nah, that’s all I got.
Aaugh! I’m such a lemming. I might’ve gone for them but for the menstrual blood.
Ashtray
Constructivism
Streetcar Accident
Veal
Hematoma
Franzia Vomit
Gun
Also, Sister Wolf and Bevitron are geniuses.
KR – Hahahahahahhahahahaha! (just almost choked to death at “Constructivism)
I think calling polish particuliere is a little too much even for the French. My lovely hungarian friend Zsa Zsa (not her real name) counters by calling the beige pink or grey nail polish colours ‘anus’.
Pus
Existentialism
Fungus
Knifewound
Dogshit
Crisis
Morgue
Aspartame
hahaha! I love “Veal.”
Melanoma
Nietzsche
Soft Santorum
Incisor
Bleached Anus (apologies to Beannie)
Babaganouj
Shame
Grand Mal
And then there’s
Halucination Puce
Footrot Violet
Sacrificial Red
Everglade Green
Woodrot White
Decomposing Grey
Bathtub scum Beige
i want wittgenstein and fugue you, please!
Just love “Knifewound”!
How about:
Razor Burn
Medium Rare
Dirty Snow Grey
Spit
Dried Twig
Roadkill
Sisty – I love “veal” too!
sulky kitten -Hahahahahahahaahahahha!
sisty – Hahahahahaahahhahaahhaha, hahahahahahahhaha!
Andra – Sacrificial REd, I can’t believe they didn’t have that one! Hahahaahhaaha!
Cricket 9 – Hahahahahahahahahhaa! You can have Fresh Roadkill AND Weathered Roadkill.
I want “Crisis”, “Babaganouj”, and “Hallucination Puce”!! Didn’t some bloggers come out with polishes named “Weed” and “Jizz” a while back?
This all just reminds me of an eyeshadow shade I have – “Asphyxia”
Anyway, I thought of more.
Wet Spot
Gristle
Capitalism
Impacted Molar
Pink Mold
Clot
quality assurance gray
fingernail crud puce
hipster blah blue
wine lips
witchy tavi
vintage seashell
cracked leather
burn victim
gummy bear vomit
zeitgeist pear
spittle
I know someone whose house I would like to have painted in Virgin Birth, Morgue, Spit, Gun, and Clot. I think Grand Mal for the dining room.
I’m sorry, I can’t stop myself –
Pit
Ishmael
Anathema
Greywater
Earwax
Trepidation
You are all geniuses. Lol
OH GOD, i can’t stop laughing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahahahahha!
I absolutely promise this is my last. How could I leave out
Cunt
Bevitron – and just now, I was thinking “smegma.”
Sink Gunge
Rat Hole
Foecal Compaction
Slapped Arse
Face Like a Bag of Hammers
Carbuncle
Blackhead
Thanks Sister, I feel so much better now:) x
Names for nail polish? These ought to be obvious..
Avarice
G.O.P. (Greedy Odious Polish)
Cat Scratch Fever
Talon Tope
Snot Spade
Jealous Girlfriend Green
Lavender Leprosy
Desiree – I was just mentally starting a list with carbuncle.
Bunion
Typhoid
Godel’s Theorems
Placenta
Seedling
Fennell
Eucharist
Tar
Ali – I just noticed Quality Assurance Gray – hahahahahahahahahhahaha!
Afterbirth.
this is AWESOME!!!!
Mug Ring
DVD
Remotely Buttered
Faint Blunder
Pinkish Prolapse
Lonely Lego
Shrunken Drunk
Gourmandise deceased
Ingrown Green
Super Impotence
Crumb
Festive Fisting
George Hamilton
….Merry Whatever, everyone!