Catching up with Sea of Shoes after her whirlwind visit to New York, we now find her back in Texas, specifically, at an exclusive sale of Mom’s “vintage” wares at some shop in Dallas.
Sea and Mom spread the joy of hideous animal-themed costume jewelry, most if it sourced from eBay at a fraction of the price charged to their hapless groupies. Years from now, Texas woman will be wondering what came over them when they gaze upon their gigantic monkey and elephant pendants.
Jane stood around in her Anne D. shoes, perhaps daydreaming about Asian boys or Martin Margiela. Meanwhile, Mom has posted about her love of studded shoes, featuring at least $4,000 of her carefully edited collection.
Would you like to leave a comment for Jane, who doesn’t care what you think? I will go first:
Dear Sea, I saw a video of an interview you gave in New York, and I realized that you are just an average looking girl who doesn’t seem to grasp the implications of anything at all. I see that Mom is the brains behind everything, and I hope one day you can move on to a ‘transitional object‘, like a blankie, before finally breaking free of Mom for good. Meanwhile, I think you guys have enough shoes. Love, SW.
“I will go first.”
Seriously, Sister, I love you more and more each day.
Come on over here an gimme a Christian-Sidehug.
XuXu
http://www.frenchshelter.blogspot.com
I bet in real life they are like “The real housewives of insert-filthy-elitist-city-name-here”, and I like to cling to the belief that having all of those possessions makes them incredibly hollow inside. I CLING to that belief.
Fuckers.
If self-satisfaction was made into an energy we could run a city from that room.
Dear Jane – you are boring me now, yawn.
Dear Jane,
I really hope you are applying for what I’d call University, and what you’d call college. Education is Key. Trust me. I’m a lawyer. I worry that you are getting bored by blogging -is it time to branch out into other areas? Give my love to Carole and Consuela. Love and Best Wishes, FF xx PS I have a NEPHEW! You’ll feel this way when Carole has a baby.
Dear Jane,
I am not going to tell you those shoes are ugly, which they are, but sweet heart, don’t lace them so tight. They look like they hurt, and they look like when you take them off you will have really nasty red marks and puffy spots on your feet.
Please either get an education or a real job. Please grow up right. There is time but you are running out. You don’t want to be a self indulgent brat your whole life, we have enough of them.
ps… if you are not in college and have no real job, by which i mean one you have to get up early, put on clothes you don’t like and deal with people you don’t like, you can update your blog every day.
Come on, i need the laugh.
your’s
patni.
Was Sea’s mom a castmember of Dynasty?
Also, I note with some concern that the octopus and prawn pins that they were just gushing over a few weeks ago, were sold.
Are these people who buy things wear them once for a photo then resell to keep up the appearance of opulence?
This is the only analysis I have for these people.
Mommy is aging. Mommy wanted to be a model but can’t.
Daughter is thin. Daughter is of the age where with enough hair products and makeup and expressive photography she can be pretty.
20 years ago, she’s be trying to get her daughter on the stage as a country singer or beauty pageant queen.
Also, though I am not sure if anyone ever told them that it is all well and good getting free stuff from these companies, but they are not doing it out of the goodness of their hearts. You’re far cheaper advertising that they do not have to officially “back” with contracts.
@patni – Agreed on all counts. If you don’t want to live in the real world, at least bother to update your blog more than twice a month. Come on, baby Jane, that’s what iPhones are for.
Jane, wassssssaaap? Are you getting bored of blogging already? Your last few blogs have been Zzzz.
I assumed that it’s because you haven’t been able to purchase anything new, but nope, I was wrong!
I laughed gleefully when I saw pics of your trunk show! It must have given you a high to sell spangly octopi for $30000! I would have loved to be a fly on the wall at that event! “Believe me, if there’s anything you need for fall ’10, it’s this big-ass lion belt buckle…only $200!” Jeez, all you had to do was pose with it for one entry and it sold like hotcakes.
Say it with me, Jane- ANKH. AAAAANKH. Not Anhk. I am really disappointed that you can spell “Demeulemeester” (yes, I had to copy and paste that) correctly, but you cannot spell aaaaaaaankh. Please, go to college and take “Egyptian hieroglyphics 101.” Not at home. Not over the internet. AT a university. Where you may be paired up with a roommate that sings folk music 24/7, owns one pair of shoes, and shops at thrift stores because, y’know, she has to.
And seriously, wear socks with those shoes. I hate socks with sandals, but I am feeling pain when I see your feet bound up in those monstrosities. I agree- loosen those laces!
dear sea of shoes & mom,
both of your blogs bum me out. i was really excited to learn that you were from texas… then i was REALLY bummed when i found out you were from the dallas fort worth area… of course you are. and after reading both your blogs i decided to stop reading them because you both are sad excuses of texans if i have ever seen some. I’m from the Houston area. Live, breathe & eat Texas. And that not exclude DRESSING with some sort of southern style. I would THINK someone blogging about style in this state would at least incorporate some sort of southern style (lord knows we have that damn texas pride) into the mix but i have yet to see anything. you’re no different than any other bloggers that ramble on about the same endless shit that walks down the runway every season… yes i know you can go to a boutique and find some amazing avant garde crap/designer studded platforms/statement necklace… but what about actual style? i dont want you to show me pieces i can’t afford! i want you to show me about navajo style, i want to see you incorporating some of our spanish history into it. whip out your shit kickers that you CAN get dirty… where the hint of frontier fashion? this would be exciting to me… something different something that is YOU! (<<<you are from texas after all)
Dear Jane (and MomShoes),
Whatever drugs you’re on that make you think your animal accessories are “AMAZING” should be shared with the rest of the class; I’d like to escape from reality once in a while but I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing my hideous hallucinations out in public. Also, Jane, please stay away from anything designed by Viv Westwood; your values are an insult to Viv’s beliefs and you sully the Westwood name when you wear her work. And you’re just way too much of a conventional, boring girl to wear something so cool.
Smooches,
Me
I love accessories as much as the next gal, but I can think of 8,000 places I would rather be than at that junk (yes, JUNK, not TRUNK) show. This is nothing more than a sale of shit that Mom curated and then sold (at inflated prices, no doubt) so that others might curate her already curated shit.
I don’t actually know who is worse – Jane and Mom or the clueless followers who attended the event, desperately trying to own a piece of them.
Sole for soul, Jane.
Yours (con)tritely,
E.
And we haven’t even touched on the THEY DON’T CALL THEM LOVERS IN HIGHSCHOOL, LEELAND cephalopod-erotica fiesta.
THANK YOU MJ, God, I just looked at that blog and now I want to vomit. Thanks again. Wow, I’m all for kids being weird but Jane, wow.
This hideous jewellery is just depressing. And why is this one woman wearing a “body chain” over her coat? That thing looks just completely out of place.
I just found MomShoes guide to finding hideous expensive crap on ebay: “To find the good stuff, you have to put yourself in the mind of a seller and think about all the ways they might possibly list something. ”
Wow!! Maybe Jane will take up psychology classes at university to master this skill?
I wonder what Carol thinks? “Finally they sold all this crap”??? Have Sea and Mom ever made her wear their horrible stuff? This family is intriguing…
Dear Jane,
You’re doing your own thing, even if you’re doing your MUMS thing and you love it then by all means keep doing it. It’s none of our business, unfortunately it worries SW.
Your blog miss Jane… is, well, YOUR blog! No one else’s..not a deposit for hating because our lives suck and we can’t afford 1/3 of what you jobless, spoiled girl can. Oh wait…
You know,
jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius.
Especially if genius is a closet full of shoes.
AHA.
Aimee- I was wondering the same thing…didn’t they just buy those sea-creature pins?
Why were they doing this? For more money they don’t need?
Dear Jane – this time it even took me a while to think about what I’m going to say to you. Why? Cos I start feeling pity for you… and I pity the fool…
Go to School, watch some Young Ones and Bottom while wearing AnnD’s, get dirty…
I don’t mind THEY DON’T CALL THEM LOVERS IN HIGH SCHOOL, LEELAND, … it seems the kind of thing artsy teens should be looking at. I would call it on the mildly strange side. Go to art school girl. You will find a whole world of fucked up sea creatures that you can combine with alcohol, sex poor hygiene. mixed media and oil paint. You will grow out of the dirt, but the letting your mind go nuts will follow you for ever. You need to get out of being miss prissy pretty pants with a little lame avant gardeness, and dive in to the deep and the weird.
Dear Jane,
you are an eye sore accented by an essential jacket. I love your attempts to find facial angles despite your large cheeks. I can relate because I also have large cheeks.
its a problem.
we’re practically blogging lepers.
also: if you keep flashing that horrible octopus around and taking pictures of it, my computer screen is probably going to have an epileptic fit.
Dear Jane
In your blog you say this:
“Some days I feel like everything in my closet is wildly impractical. Silks and chiffons stain and wear out, tutus get caught in car doors, sequins are scratchy, sack dresses are cumbersome…it’s nice to have a no bullshit super snug and sexy jacket now and then.”
it’s also nice to have a life, and friends that didn’t gave birth to you and to go to University…
Oh, and it’s so sad that you are getting tired of all your ugly useless cloth… poor little rich girl, boo hoo. By the way, fuck you.
xo
Nat
oh, and BTW… 3:18 video of the same 2 seconds shot of yourself?? if you where going for artsy or avant garde, you failed….
gosh… i can’t belive i saw it all….. wtf is wrong with me?!
Wow, shit’s gotten pretty venomous. I still can’t bring a lot of hate to the table, as you just seem clued out. I was clued-out at your age, too. Took drugs, demeaning jobs, and mala education up ’till twenty-one to overcome it.
Your new Mary Kate and Ashley Not for Wal Mart jacket looks really cheap and ugly, even for you.
Maybe more Thoreau or Cocteau or Rimbaud or even blow–less The Row.
Well, I can totally relate to poor Jane. My tutu gets caught in the car doors, like, ALL the time.
By the way – in my native Poland we have a processed meat product (a close cousin to Polish kielbasa) which is tightly bound with a string. It looks EXACTLY like Jane’s feet in these shoes.
Dear Jane,
Where to begin…As always, I need to point out that your mother is a common whore.
Your trip to New York sounds utterly boring. You ate at Le Pain Quotidien every day? Why? You were in the city with arguably the best restaurants in the world, and you ate there? Pathetic.
The Soho Grand is tired. Soho is horrible. It’s like the Mall of America without an indoor amusement park. Stay anywhere else in the city next time.
It’s practically child abuse that your mother brought you to New York to shop and do nothing else. Are you curious about anything other than clothing and shoes? Have you ever heard of a museum?
Are you going to college, Jane? I’m sure your father can buy your way into just about anywhere. One of Demi Moore’s deformed daughters goes to Brown, and she’s as dumb as dirt. College might be fun for you. You could hang out with someone other than your whore mother or your gaysian friend with the horrible hair.
Love,
Mark
Dear Jane,
Fat (not phat) feet are diabolical abominations that are best hidden (Imelda suggests in cement) from the merciless gaze of your sycophantic readers, lest they think all monied shoe-women (like Imelda) are afflicted by the same satanical curse.
blogs and kisses,
HRH Imelda the Despotic Queen of Shoes
hey sister, can you believe this ish? i left them a comment thanking madame for her great kindess and all, but it’s in “moderation,” i bet you the hell he won’t post it.
http://jakandjil.com/blog/?p=3851
oh and LEELAND blog is awesome, actually, it’s quite perverse. I wasn’t that subtle about it as a teenager, was just into RE/Search books and industrial culture.
All this hate really sucks. It’s depressing. Why do you all care about Jane? I think Anjuna’s right this is “a deposit for hating”. To me it’s bullying. What a fucking downer people.
Moda, here is my intent: A wealthy girl who has achieved some internet fame due to the flaunting of her consumer goods, has decided to cease taking comments from the readers who made her so popular. Her fame was accomplished via extreme exhibitionism plus extreme wealth, and the barren fantasy lives of thousands of less privileged young women.
Some people have been moved to write to her and gush about how awesome and fabulous she and her consumer goods are. But others are fascinated and creeped out by this bizarre spectacle and it’s apparent impact.
I personally don’t know what to make of it…it is disturbing, at the very least. But I am offering a place for anyone to say anything! Even you. If you’re on a downer, go shopping or something. Or find a blog where you hear the kind of shit you like. That’s all I can offer you.
so how does she look pretty in the photos on her blog? makeup + photoshop???
I am eighteen, a year older than Jane is, and I just do not understand the need for her to be so dumb! It is a spectacle, a spectacle of excess (Barthes’ words, not mine). I came through Jane’s blog through yours, and I was so ashamed it isn’t even funny! Seriously, I know she has no responsibility to people who are in dire need of money, but woman, stop flashing money you haven’t earned, and probably never will!
A school drop-out she is, isn’t she? Such a douche.
It is however funny how many people actually follow that madness! And, I have to say, there is not a single piece from her entire stupid wardrobe that I actually like.
Stupid thing. Juvenile delinquents like her are the reason the rest of the same generation gets a bad name. Ah, maybe I am too old to understand this madness.
Dear Jane,
I just watched your you tube clip, I thought my computer was playing up, regurgitating the same thing over and over. Then I realised that that was the effect you were going for.
Why? I honestly do not get it.
Beautiful dress though.
I do agree with Sister Wolf about your flaunting of extreme wealth, it distracts from the fact that you probably have some intersting facets of your character. Why not blog a post about the last book you read, or why we can see the moon most daylight hours. You know, something more substantial than shoes and clothes.
I get it, your blog is called sea of shoes, but it is ok to deviate now and then.
See, the issue here SW (regarding your reply to Moda) IS NOT the fact you discuss Jane’s blog, her extreme wealth, the fact it is a very unrealistic portrait of a 17 year old life or even her lack of education. I commend you for discussing about it, with all your readers. I won’t even criticize this blog for getting all these comments at the expense of another blog.
The point is, you never criticize it and her in a healthy way, or impartial for that matter. I read your words and I cannot stop thinking there’s pure hatred behind them, the other reader’s comments is a reflection of it.
I beg to differ Anjuna, not all of us Sister Wolf fans (yep, I am, caustic hardcore truth is the new black) are hating on the child. My comment is a reflection on myself surely?
Anjuna, if you dislike SW’s blog and its readers/commenters so much why do you keep coming back? You do know that’s the definition of insanity, right?
I have no idea why I’m jumpin’ in, here’s what comes to my mind.
I don’t think than any of us adults really hates Jane. She is more of a convenient and approachable example of many wrong things around.
Kids today ( and parents too) believe that the point of our existence is to be ultimately happy and entertained. So they indulge in their beliefs and consume, than consume some more. Then they get bored, like Jane is bored now and craves for ordinary (designer jackets).
She is just one of them and she put herself out there.
I personally hate only politicians, not rich kids.
She just represents something that bad politicians and fucked up capitalism are trying to sell us and manipulative Mom symbolizes conspiracy theory. They are not more than just a characters that they have created.
Moda- not everyone hates Sea! I might think some of her clothes are ridiculous (pink/yellow muppet jacket? She likes it, and that’s fine- doesn’t mean everyone who sees it has to like it too) but others are pretty, even if my feet sometimes ached looking at all her high heels- out of sympathy, more than anything else- surely they can’t be pain-free?
I do object to Mark using unparliamentary language to refer to Sea’s mom- I’ve objected before, and I’ll do it again. I mean, come on, does she really deserve to be called those names just because of her taste in clothes/shoes, and the fact that she buys stuff? Maybe you’re being ironic and cool, but sorry, I don’t get it.
I think that Jane should run away from home and become the subversive that she wants to be. That would be awesome. I would say good for her!!
I don’t “hate” Jane. I think that our discussions here sort of represent the commentary on young, rich girls becoming the new idols of the internet. It’s a bit uncomfortable to see what appears to be a devotion to spending money, as a lifestyle. If I remember correctly, this section started as a result of Jane completely closing her comment section on her blog. I don’t know about any off-comment threats she might have received, but I read her comments, and I have seen much worse at other blogs. If anyone posted a negative comment, dozens of her readers would leap to her rescue and defend her.
I hope that Jane goes to college and gets out there in the crazy world, and leaves her little artist/fashion circle. I also think that she talks about a lot of sophisticated and complex concepts without truly understanding their implications- which is what annoys me about these young, precocious bloggers. I know that we were all young and stupid at some point, but these young women have a large audience and adults patting them on the head and giving them publicity, just for being “young.”
I’m almost worried for Jane (as worried as you can be for any blogger who has such exposure), that the insular world of fashion blogging, where she can turn off her comments and stop physically going to school, will hurt her in the future.
My two cents
Dru,
I call Jane’s mom a ‘whore’ because she spends all of her ex-husband’s money, and doesn’t work. When she was married to him, she was a trophy wife–boil that down, and you get a hooker with a regular John. I’m not sure if she’s still having sex with him for money, but she’s still cashing in on all that sex she had with him in the past. My calling her a ‘whore’ has nothing to do with her taste in clothing or jewelry. It is, however, related to how she finances her sourcing, acquiring, and curating habits.
Bitchiness aside, I honestly hope Jane looks at her mother and thinks hard about what she (Jane) might or might not become.
Love,
Mark
@ HelOnWheels : I don’t think I’m the delusional one here, I presume you read my words carefully before adressing me. I have never said I disliked SW’s blog or her readers. However I will not repeat myself just to explain what I meant because I think I was pretty clear.
I could nonetheless, talk about Mark’s words (which are an example/reinforcement of what I said) but I am so not gonna bother.
@HelOnWheels
You’d think the same went for you, right? If you hate her blog so very much, why do YOU keep going back for more and then venting out the venom here? You do know that’s unhealthy, right?
My beef is not with what the comments or SW say about Jane. They’re quite right and I feel much the same. My beef is with the vitriol. Jeez people she’s only a kid! Stupid and misguided, yes, but still a kid.
Going back to Mark’s explanation of what defines a whore, does that mean all women who do not work outside of the house, and rely on their husbands for financial support are whores?
Would this not apply to quite a large slice of the female population?
Would you call all of them whores, on the net or in person?
How can you state that it is a fact that she bulit her whole marriage on a cash/sex exchange? Do you know them personally?
How do you know she never worked outside of the home?
Is housework and child rearing not work?
How do you know that she never had money of her own? She may come from a family of wealth.
God damn, Braindance is full of questions…
Taking the piss out of somebody because they love shoes is one thing, calling their mother a whore, well in my hood, that would constitute a beating.
Imagine Jane coming at you with a pointy shoe, straight for the nut sac, no I dont think that would happen either. Might damage the shoe
Braindance has TOO much time on her hands, but still makes basic grammar errors.
Mark- that still doesn’t constitute grounds for calling someone’s mom a whore. Like Braindance says, what do you know about the circumstances of Mom’s divorce, or the state of her finances?
Also, if every woman who chose to stay at home and raise their kids is a whore, then that would make a fair few of our grandmothers, mothers and even us whores too.
Liz is right about Sea’s comments though- no idea about other things said about Jane, but I’d seen people saying things 1000xworse than anything said either in her comment section when it existed, or on this blog- on other blogs (including but not restricted to: racist comments, “fat”/”ugly” insults, calling them whores, and so on- sickening stuff).