Let’s get through this quickly: Sea is so excited about her shopping trip to Tokyo that she’s already started packing. Why is she packing those Prada shoes that are supposed to be Mom’s? There’s some funny business going on with those shoes, just don’t ask me what.
Sea also posed on her bed for some photos with a wistful look on her face. I’m beginning to feel queasy about her nostrils, which seem unusually cavernous lately.
Mom’s eBay purchases in the last six months have reached a total of 393. That is some mad curating!
Even though Sea doesn’t allow comments, she has asked her readers to recommend the best toy stores in Tokyo.
If you can help out with the toy stores OR just want to say Hi, you can leave your comments for Sea here. I will go first:
Dear Sea, Have fun in Tokyo and please spend as much of Dad’s money as is humanly possible. Thanks, xo SW
She wants to steal Carol’s little bag too! But what, oh what, will she barter with?!
I’m going to be in Tokyo at the time as her. Hopefully I bump into them, no doubt at the expensive side of town. I do know some cool toy shops here but I’m not going to email her and tell her about them for nothing. She has enough money to pay for someone to tell her, if she just stopped buying shoes.
I don’t care how much money you/Mom spend, but it’s filthy to put shoes- in which I presume you have walked, on surfaces outside your house- on top of your clothes. I hope you gave the soles of those yellow-toed boots a good cleaning before putting them in that picture.
Dear Jane,
I thought the photo on your bed was very Soft Rock Compilation Album circa 1978.
Enjoy your trip abroad and don’t forget to go to university.
Love to Consuela and Carol, FF x
Hayley, I would LOVE to see a Sea encounter on your blog! You should stalk them.
Hi Jane,
Don’t you ever wonder what it is like in Okinawa? well, there are no skyscrapers as in Tokyo, but it is a beautiful island in southern part of Japan and the view is really good especially for those who enjoy photography…sun, beaches, trees, etc..oh and also historical venues, just relaxing things, i have never been there but i have a lot of Japanese friends who showed me the pictures of Okinawa, and if i have a chance to go I’d definitely grab it i thought u have been to Tokyo once, don’t u ever feel curious what it’s like in the other part of Japan….or more like the other part of the world without branded shops and concrete jungle? anyway,, have fun in Tokyo 😀
Sometimes I wonder if Jane actually has any sense of style at all or if she just copies her mum the whole time because they own so many duplicates. Not to mention all the clothes they ‘share’.
I’m beginning to think that Jane is just the young mouth piece for mum’s attempt at world domination.
I think that not using anny form of the verb buy is an affectation of weathy Texans. I always noticed that about the girl from The Glamourai. She is constantly “acquiring” or “happening upon” things. Why is it dirty to own up for paying for things? She also calls sunglasses “sunnies”.
acquired(v.) – commonly used expression roughly translating to “bought for a somewhat obscene amount of money” see also: “took out the credit card and blew some of that trust fund money like it was going out of style”
Dear Sea Monster,
In an epic shoe fight in Japan, which mythical creature would you like to have on your side: Godzilla, Mothra or Rodan?
Sincerely,
The Queen of Hearts
Dear Jane.
I am ashamed that we have the same stuffed octopus. Poor mimi’s going to get her eyes poked out by your spike heels.
Dear Jane , try the Yamashiroya toy shop in Ueno and Kiddy Land in Harajuku areas Tokyo. Sister Wolf always looks after your interests x
Dear Sea,
You have officially managed to cross the threshold from boring, insipid and sort of a cliche into the slightly complex zone of being completely inconsequential, if not useless.
That is it.
Love.
Man has yet to invent the machine that can measure just how little I care.
ha ha! aimee has the same toy as sea. hahah.
I love that Jane made a “half-hearted” attempt at making a pillow fort. How freakin’ hard is it to FINISH a pillow fort?
Wah wah Jane, tough life. I wish that my biggest problem was schlepping camera equipment all over Tokyo rather than, you know, being technically unemployed. I guess it’s just me and my pillow fort this summer!
That table displaying the stuff she’s bringing to Japan…I literally LOL’ed. I cannot identify any two items on that table that would look decent together. I also love that Jane needed to steal Carol’s purse when she probably has upwards of 100…especially when the purse DOESN’T MATCH ANYTHING.
My eyes, my eyes!
Ha, ha, ha, the comments!
You guys are brilliant, you manged to make to make sense out of senseless, thank you…
Dear Jane,
I thought it was weird you groaning about having to wear a backpack, you said something like ‘how unfashionable’. Mmmm, only if you wear shit that makes a backpack really incompatible. A Black backpack can be work with…I do it all the time. And Alexander Wang’s coming out with his own versions of them with this sheer scarf hanging down from it for fuck’s sake. Maybe you can procure that one when it comes out and I will actually be jealous of you for once.
Dear Jane,
I’m kind of weirded out by your obsessions with toys, pillow forts and coloring books. Aren’t you 17?
*to make – but only once, does it make sense?
The purported contents of her future luggage could just as well be a random smattering of items knocked off of shelves at Neiman’s Last Call by shoppers reaching for more tasteful and dynamic items. Detritus Chic.
I’m quite new to this Sea of Shoes & her Mom thing, and I’m confused. If Jane is 17, why is she dragging stuffed animals with her all the time (not to mention plastic dinosaurs) and getting excited about toy shops in foreign countries? On the other hand, if she’s 17, why does she dress like a 40 years old with lots of money, no real taste and a penchant for oversized jewelry? And why is this Mom person always lurking in the background somewhere? There is something sinister at work here, I’m telling you…
I fear for Carol.
Why does she need to find the best toy stores in Tokyo? Life is just one big toy store to her already.
aaggghhhh. she’s so boring.
dear jane:
fuck the toystores. you should be reading books.
love, Nat
dust – Yep, the comments are everything here.
kate – YES! If I saw that pile at a yard sale, I wouldn’t be interested in any of it.
Kara – Her juvenile interests are meant to be delightfully at odds with her “sophisticated” sense of fashion and taste in books (Thomas Pynchon, as if, and Nobokov, also as if.) Get it?!
CRicket9 – Be afraid.
Angelica – Excellent point.
Sea,
While your ramblings about your ridiculous materialistic life piss me off to no end and I would like to give you a swift kick in the shins, I can sit happily with the fact that you will suffer from hideous bunions and damaged calf muscles by age 30, and crippling arthritis around your ankles by around age 40.
Love hayley.
Patni, shut up.
I keep it above my toilet. Maybe I should sell them both to Sea?
“…the fact that you will suffer from hideous bunions and damaged calf muscles by age 30, and crippling arthritis around your ankles by around age 40″
Is this fact? I know someone who hasn’t worn any shoes under the height of 3.5inches, favouring 4.5”, since she was 18. Never wears flats, not even to take out the garbage. She shows no sign of any foot/leg complaints despite hitting 40.
Have you ever followed her on twitter? This was my favorite statement so far:
“Wore my Prada chandelier shoes for the first time tonight in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Just dropped my grandma off at the senior living center.”
Yes, those two statements made the same tweet. At first I thought it was a parody but it seems to be real.
If you just can’t help yourself, go here:
http://twitter.com/sea_of_shoes
Is Ronnie still going? maybe Ronnie is a grad student that happens to be studying abroad regarding the origins and techniques of ancient japanese comicbook binding at the exact same time…that…Sea…because how is ronnie able to just go to tokyo with them kind of like how amit suddenly appeared out of nowhere during the first Tokyo trip. Just like ronnie was suddenly able to go to austin but didnt ride down with sea and dad? It would have been very youthful and carefree if she and ronnie roadtripped down together…alone…. How old is he? where the hell is he from? do they still hang with amit or is he exed out, or is amit totally over it anyway? why do we know so little about the only interesting thing happening on that blog.
Father Time
Dear Sea,
I finally cleared out all my toy boxes from the spare room that were full of all the toys I had as a kid. It was incredibly satisfying, I feel all mature, and I have more room for my shoes. I recommend you do the same.
I also recommend you find a sense of style that falls under some other heading than ‘mad old lady in a jumble sale’. It will make packing far easier if you have a specific colour palette in mind (this is how my mum packs.)
I remember going to San Francisco and being taken around the city by a 12-year-old girl who only wanted to go to Fao Schwartz (the toy store?) That was depressing. Go to Tokyo to observe the fabulous architecture, art, culture. I don’t know. I’ve never been to Tokyo. You are so insanely fortunate and you have no idea. It saddens me.
Have fun in Tokyo. But if you insist on spending $500 dollars on a toy again, it had better be that teddy in Diamonds Are Forever. Ie the one with diamonds in it.
Love RedHead
PS Paige, she actually says that a backpack is fashionable, not unfashionable. Backpacks are very in this season. Yes, yes they are.
But since Jane’s packing pile looks like the worst dressed women in the world pooled their most shameful items, I wouldn’t put it past her to ruin this trend too.
PPS I am still excited about her tweet saying ‘Is it ok to wear goat fur to prom?’ I’m loving it. Prehistoric chic. Maybe she’ll sculpt herself a prominent forehead out of plasticine. Or make Carol do it.
PPPS I am genuinely concerned for Carol. She seems like the ugly duckling pushed out of the nest while Mum and Mum’s Mini-Me go gallavanting around Tokyo, New York and wherever else to shop the place down. Does Mum not understand her younger daughter because Younger daughter goes on Ebay to buy first editions of books and cooking equipment? I had no idea shopping could destroy a family so. Carol, start a blog and fight back! I will follow!
i’m sorry, why do you assume its the dads money? seas blog probably makes a shit load of money, and who knows what mom does besides the blog to rack up some cash. i think its pretty sexist to assume that dad means anything at all to these females.
Dear Sea,
Spice it up. I’m bored. Who’s Ronnie? A new bf? Did he replace Amit? Was there drama? Where’s Carol these days? Why doesn’t she get to go to Japan? Are you ever going to uni? These are the questions I have.
Also, you and Mom need to stop doing duplicate posts. It makes things twice as boring.
Have fun in Japan, and bring back something other than shoes and toys.
her and her mother buy matching shoes. i believe they wear the same size because sometimes she’ll be like ‘wearing my mom’s _______’ but if they both like them enough they’ll just drop thousands x 2 to have the same fucking shoe. who wants a crystal chandelier MULE???
Also, Lezzies, I’m pretty sure Sea’s dad is an oil tycoon or something and they come from old money. Shes a ‘retired model.’ lets be realistic here, PC aside. it’s daddys money
Jane, that is the worst pillow fort I have ever seen. What fort has only a back wall?
Alicia – I agree.
Even if she was short on pillows surely her fort could be constructed so her bedroom wall was the back of the fort and the pillows protected the front? I think she should consider attending some kind of Contemporary Fort Building for Beginners course.
Maybe she could trade some of her toy collections with some 4 year olds in exchange for fort building lessons.
“Ronnie” is a guy in this band called Neon Indian. They’re hot shit right now, and they played at SXSW, so that’s why they were hangin’ out in that Austin post. I am also puzzled though why Ron Ron is going with the Shoes to tokyo instead of the BF.
@Suspended
Not a fact, I just keep telling myself that and it reminds me that karma, or hopefully bunions and arthritis, will strike her down once and for all.
@Hayley – Actually, you are correct about Sea’s feet. My sister is an podiatric surgeon and after seeing the kinds of shoes Sea wears and how ill-fitting most of them are, she has confirmed that bunions and other foot related maladies are in Sea’s future, sooner than later.
Dear Jane,
Japan is a beautiful and a culturally and historically rich country. You should really try to see its true wealth, which is not in its toy or major label stores. When you’re older I really hope that you look back on these “trips to a Tokyo mall” as wasted time and travel opportunities.
Smooches,
H.O.W.
@Paige – Yeah, I feel like Sea doesn’t mention the BF anymore and only Ronnie, leading me to wonder if Sea and Ronnie are an item…
Dear Jane,
have you ever heard about projection and living vicariously through somebody else? Let me break the news for you: Mommy is doing that with you.
I’m curious; how is Sea making money through her blog? She doesn’t advertise on it (aside from name-drop) and seems to be gifted with a lot of goodies and that’s it. Maybe Mom’s putting them on Ebay!
dear jane,
stop trying to be asian. get over it and accept yourself for the boring south western girl you are. you almost tricked me, but when I heard you speak I knew. You’re just a hillbilly playing dress up.
Felicia -“stop trying to be asian”. HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Well, we had to flee Bangkok for now, and since Cami is in Tokyo, all I can say is that I really hope she, Fashion Hayley, Judy and Jane have a blogger meet! I’m already putting the pressure on Cami & Hayley to make it happen.
I can’t wait for the day Carol finally looses it at her insane age confused mother and sister -seriously even mom is into the haneous toys.
i don’t think there is one outfit at all that i have ever stopped and though, gee Jane you got it right. not one. what a waste of daddies moneys and everybody’s time.
carol hire a hit-man – you will no doubt inherit all their junk, and if your smart try and sell it on eBay for some silly fan to “obtain/acquire/win.
that’s what i would do if i was unfortunate enough to be related to twat and twatette.
die soon
xoxo the better jane.