This week’s award will have to be shared by the two authors of BleachBlack, a style blog that is rife with exclamations of fuck, sick, dude, stoked, rad, killer, major, kickass, um, and all the other blogese we have come to expect from 20-something women who act like naughty schoolgirls.
Bleach and Black created a green nail polish called “Dickweed,” and that was just silly.
Now, they’ve come up with a new color called “Jizz,” a pearly-white that is modeled above by their pal Roomy, whom they slavishly mention at every opportunity.
Here’s the problem. It’s one thing to be a stupid would-be whore who manages to make money by posting photos of consumer goods and videos with the caption “How amazing is this!” or “Hedi Slimane is a Genius!” It’s another thing to market nail polish called Jizz to their audience of clueless fashion girls.
Jizz? Dude. Is that like the coolest, funniest name for white nail polish, like ever?
I wouldn’t like to have to explain to my kids what jizz means. The whole idea is just sad. Why not spunk or smegma? I don’t like people who use the word jizz. They should use the word “come” but they don’t need to use it for nail polish. I think that in recent years, young girls have been giving out blowjobs with their phone numbers; the act has been downgraded from one of love and intimacy to a cheap party favor.
Nail polish called Jizz is an extention of that trend. It’s also a reminder of how the vernacular of porn has entered the everyday consciousness of the masses.
I resent BleachBlack for blighting my life with their lowbrow witlessness. Why did god make them? I hope you will join me in congratulating them for achieving the coveted Cunt of the Week award!
LOL I think jizz is an hilarious name for nail polish. However fucking hate that fashiontoast cunt. In Australia we would call her a ‘fucken mole’.
OMG! That is, like, sooooo funny.
Cretins.
When I think of something I want all over the tips of my fingers, semen doesn’t immediately spring to mind.
I agree with Trashforce. That is kind of gross.
I suggest “cervical mucous” for their next nail polish – a nice off white!
Atleast its not Jizz lip balm.
I hate the over sexualisation of society which is why I appreciate your blog. I feel bad hating other girls when society still picks on us but I can’t justify defending part of the problem.
I went on a tangent didnt I?
Trashforce – Aha, that could be the difference between us and them.
SKye – A nice shout-out for parity in body fluids!
Paris underwater – Don’t feel too bad about hating other girls. It’s because we want girls to be better! To represent our gender more intelligently! To not be idiots!
Beyond vile.
Queen Marie
x
I just looked at that blog, and I have no original comments, as I agree with Queen Marie.
My question would be WHY is that necessary?
tryhard edginess. so boring.
I read about this yesterday and I was immediately grossed out too. All I could think was “is this the best you can do?”
Here are a few ideas for the girls: greenish-yellow polish called “Bile”, or maybe “Snoot”, burgundy called “Menstrual Blood”, bright red one – “Arterial Blood”,
off- white called “Dandruff”, and so on. Then you just drench yourself in the newest rad scent “Hockey Player’s Sweat” and you are ready to go.
make it stoooop!!
bring class back!
off with their heads! and terry richardson and the fucker who owns american apparel as well!
SW shoots; SW scores.
“Why not spunk or smegma?” I should know better than to sip my coffee while reading your blog. Now it’s in my lungs (the coffee, not the spunk). At 30 years old, I just had a total Beavis & Butthead giggle fit at the word spunk. (Sigh) And yes, Paris Underground, me too on the other girls thing. I’ve never understood the “I, like, totally hate it when men, like, treat me like I’m dumb or something just because I’m pretty (hair twirl)” thing.
these two are obviously just another whacked-out bunch worshiping at the church of erin “homelessness is like rad stylish dude” wasson. jizzweed dickhead bleachout.
off with their heads indeed.
they CAN be entertaining, sometimes, though. and very rarely they even have alerted me to an interesting designer i had never heard of previously.
“I think that in recent years, young girls have been giving out blowjobs with their phone numbers; the act has been downgraded from one of love and intimacy to a cheap party favor
“…totally agree with you!
My boyfriend’s daughter is ten and she announced at the dinner table that she now knows what a queef is. I didn’t know what a queef was until I actually had one. I don’t think she knows it has anything to do with sex, but she knows wherefrom it originates, so to speak. That boggles my mind.
How about a brown polish called “Shit Yeah!” Or another whitish beigey one called “Funky Spunk”? (remember funky spunk from and episode of Sex and the City?)
Kids are exposed to much more at a more rapid rate. That is a fact that people have to realize. That being said, it is disappointing that they are now marketing themselves like this. I was an avid reader of their blog until it became a sleek advertisement for whatever the bloggers themselves were given or what their friends were creating. I thought the dickweed nail polish was funny, to be honest. Jizz, on the other hand, is a pretty classless name.
I had never looked at this blog until C of the W was bestowed upon them, after a quick look, far too many fierce, rad and killing it sentences for me.
Killing what exactly?
If the objective is to look stylish beyond reproach, why would you want to kill it? I am confused by the terminology
And maybe I am going to regret asking this question, but what is a queef?
OOooohhh, they named their nail polish Jizz, get it? It’s hysterical! See what they did there? So edgy, so original! UGH.
As an aside, my favorite part of this post is that when I rest my cursor over the picture, it says “Roomy likes jizz.”
Great post………I agree with you!
Don’t get me wrong, I actually like Rumi. Sister, I’ve never quite understood your hate of her the way I get why you rag on Sea- Rumi’s taste isn’t mine, but it’s hard for me to hate her just because she pouts in photographs or wears skimpy clothes.
Re: the nailpolish name, lipstick/nailpolish shades have been referencing sex for so long, it’s hardly radical (yes, radical, not ‘rad’) to call it Jizz. I mean, doesn’t NARS market a lipstick/gloss called Orgasm? And if I were to call up the memory of the vampy lipcolours I wore when I was younger and stupider, I bet a few of them would be something wannabe-sexy too. Jizz just sounds like a stupid joke. Or a drunk bee.
I like the word spunk and wish bloody Sex and the City hadn’t come along and ruined it for me. I didn’t even know it was also a synonym for semen before that. Stupid Samantha.
Also, some credit to the girl: she has actual cats, not $$$ stuffed-toy ones (I saw the comments on post just before this one, and oh god it’s so amazing to laugh at).
They’re 20.
They’re morons.
When they gain a little common sense, they’ll regret it.
I’m still laughing at “Roomy.”
I like the color, but–ick!–what a wretched name. It’s all the fault of Urban Decay, that 90s brand that started the trend of edgy polish colors. I’m actually wearing a purply-blue from UD today, but am blissfully aware of what its name might be.
That type of blog is gonna die soon, soooooo 2008.
Next!
It scares me thaat blowjobs are the new kissing…is anal the new vaginal sex?!
My niece better not turn into a slut, I’ll kick her ass.
LOL @ Cricket9
HA! My other blogger friend did a post about them yesterday, too.
http://derherzen.blogspot.com/2010/04/stop-presses-style-bloggers-kristin-and.html
*They should use the word “come” *
Rap my knuckles with a ruler if you wish, Sister, but that should be spelled “cum.”
And personally, I’m sorta partial to the name Cheesy Vaginal Discharge for a nail polish. Or anything else, for that matter.
Talk about kismet…you had me at “cunt of the week.”
[and thank you Alicia — I’m official going to fail all of my exams because I now have ONE MORE blog to obsessive go through!]
officially* if I don’t get some damn SLEEP!!
I’m 24 and a nail varnish called jizz made me laugh. Simple pleasures.
The name of the nail polish didn’t make me get angry about teenagers giving blowjobs to people they don’t love, or worry about explaining jism to children… for a start when i was a kid all my nailvarnish came from the market, cost less than a quid and was named something eastern european i couldn’t even read.
*cost less than a quid *
Luv it.
ellio100: to be honest, ‘Dickweed’ made me laugh more. I really like the colour of it- and my nailpolish still comes from China and costs less than a quid. Kristin’s vocabulary annoys me, I admit, but honestly, if I can covet Wendy Brandes’s swear rings, I’d rather wear varnish called Dickweed/ Jizz with them than, say, Pretty Conventionally-named- Nailpolish.
I’d have honestly thought it was stupider if the Bleachblack duo had called their varnish something like Tropical Opal, or Cloudy Pearl, or what have you.
It is enough to make one sniff and demand smelling salts – youth of today a bunch of cunts!
Not only do I freaking hate the word “jizz,” but this whole post makes me want to punch people in the face.
(Anger issues, no!)
I just HATE that people think that sex automatically=edgy=cool=funny. It reminds me of high school drama class, where students would just use improv time as a time to showcase sexual humor because they COULDN’T come up with something genuinely clever. Oh, and straight guys pretended they were gay, too. All those things: automatic laughs. Pity the child who actually referenced theater in his or her act. You could hear the crickets.
So FAIL on this nailpolish, and in my humble-but-correct opinion, FAIL on anyone who associates with Rooooooooooomy.
PS now that I saw that blog…that layout makes me want to punch them in the face. Again.
I love your blog but maybe sticking the word ‘cunt’ in the title of the post isn’t a whole world away from naming a nail varnish jizz…
More of the good old trash aesthetic. I’m grateful that we are in the beginning of a decade so the shift will be coming.
Margot said “tryhard edginess. so boring” agreed
Braindance – Oh god, I don’t know about queef either. Bit I’ll never forget the day someone explained ‘felch.’
ellio100 – Cunt of the Weekâ„¢ is an expression of moral or aesthetic outrage. Calling nail polish ‘jizz’ is puerile posturing. See the difference?
andrea & dru – I didn’t watch sex and the city but if they ruined the word ‘spunk’ I have one more reason to avoid it!
Ann – Hahahahahahahaha!
Make Do – Exactly.
Ha ha! Brilliant – I’m so glad you posted about, I literally saw this on her blog and immediately came here to check in the hope you had awarded them the honour of cunt of the week!
Hmmmm, I’m forever upset that formaldehyde is used in most nail polish which is a known carcinogenic (I won’t touch upon the dyes). I don’t care what the name is, the real danger is in the product’s toxicity and toxic waste products from the manufacturing process. Is the name stupid? Yes. Do stupid names, and toxic ingredients, and intimacy without passion degrade (on many levels) civilization? I don’t know, let’s ask the Romans (with their vomitoriams, debauchery, use of lead vessels to drink from and cap bottles, and lead in their make-up). How did they fare in the long run?
http://www.safecosmetics.org/article.php?id=224
What the fuck do I know anyway . . . I’m udderly disgusted by the selling out of the youth to a international, corporate, high tech world where young girls ooze over shoes, and squirm over jizz named nail polish.
I’m off to sit under my tree!
This is just pathetic and sad. It goes right along with the shirts-without-pants trend and straight girls making out with each other to get attention. How about having a little dignity, ladies?
Well, I have read all the way through all the notes and I hadn’t ever heard of a “queef” before and am still in the dark as it were.
I didn’t want to show my ignorance and hoped somebody else would make enquiries … sadly not.
What the fuck is a “queef”?
Yeah, it’s time for the word “come” to make a comeback.