Exciting New Contest!

exciting contestA neighbor just two houses away from us has put up this handmade sign, and in my opinion, she is asking for trouble.  Make that begging for trouble.

I feel duty-bound to oblige.

Keep in mind there are no other political signs in our neighborhood.

Naturally I’ve been thinking of ways to deface or alter her sign, but she probably has cameras and I don’t feel like being fined or going to court. I guess I could please insanity but I’d like to save that for a capital offense.

So, I need to put up my own sign, right???

I could make a NO TRUMP sign, or a sign that says PLEASE IGNORE TRUMP SIGN with an arrow pointing to her house.

I need your ideas, asap!

*Winner gets all credit for their idea or whatever he/she wants, within reason.




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23 Responses to Exciting New Contest!

  1. Bevitron says:

    First of all… God what an idiot. On her HOUSE?!?
    But, maybe lawsuits are her hobby, just like her idol.

    My anti-slogan:
    Make Amurca Fart Again

  2. library lady says:

    Ugh. We hate that woman. I find the idea of “a sign that says PLEASE IGNORE TRUMP SIGN with an arrow pointing to her house” knee-slappingly hilarious. Sorry i can’t come up with anything dazzling myself.

  3. Romeo says:

    I agree with @library lady, “PLEASE IGNORE TRUMP SIGN” is inexplicably delightful.

    This is awful because either you start an HOA (like the Fascists would) or you get into dueling lawn signs which is basically a hyperlocal version of the Cold War. Could you pull some CIA-in-South-America shit and get someone else to take the sign down for you?

  4. Romeo says:

    Oooh, “MAKE AMURCA FART AGAIN” has an intangible appeal as well.

  5. Mary Liz says:

    Is that a wall she’s building in front of her house?

  6. Suebob says:

    How about an arrow with “SORRY – WE CAN’T CHOOSE OUR NEIGHBORS”?

  7. Suspended says:

    That’s an awfully big pile of bricks sitting doing nothing.

    I like your second suggestion too.

  8. Connie* says:

    “Things not going your way? Please direct all of your concerns to Mrs. Trump lover at 1313 Transylvania Ave. (or whatever her address is) She will be more than happy? to help you.”

  9. B the Cow says:

    Ha! Take her some cookies. Visit with her to try to find out what went wrong in her life that she would support a misogynist (and insane person). Though I’m all for peace flags, rainbow flags, Tibetan Prayer flags, “I support Women’s rights” posters, and Instead of gnomes in your garden you can have little Buddha statues.

    Or just decorate for Halloween all year round.

  10. Jessica Oulton says:

    How about a comment about the bricks in front of the sign!

    “Please hurl one brick per person at the Trump sign”

  11. marky says:

    I’m definitely into the ‘please ignore Trump sign’ with the arrow idea. There’s also the dressing in disguise and defacing the shit out of her sign. Or just nailing up a sign below her Trump love sign that reads, “Dumb Cunts for Trump.”

  12. Lynn says:

    I would love to see a hyper-realistic vulva. The dimensions of the vulva should mirror her fucking cross. Using the same blue lettering and red hearts, write the words GRAB HERE.

    You’re welcome.

    I’m sorry you have to live near that abomination. Good idea to crowd-source this contest. Looking forward to seeing your monument.

  13. Hope says:

    At first to me looked like religious cross that people put in the cemetery when somebody dies.Second since I live in Australia people don’t put flags outside since we know we are in Australia. Some do for the Australia Day.Years ago I had dear old Neighbour and she told me only folks that cheat Taxations put flags.As for your neighbours maybe send some people to ask for the donation for Trump Party.That will fix them.

  14. Bridgett says:

    I once worked with an ardent Republican, who hated, HATED the idea of Obama winning the election (1st time around). I ignored him for as long as I could, then blew up at him. Then, donated $5 in his name/address to the NAACP, the Democratic Party, Southern Poverty Law Center, and a couple other organizations. Best $25 I ever spent- he was inundated with literature and requests for donations from each group…. May I suggest something doing something similar to her? The NAACP, NARAL, Democratic Party, Planned Parenthood, any organizations that supports civil and human rights- a few bucks helps them, and will drive her nuts.

  15. Helen Waite says:

    What is the little yellow trolly-monkey thing hanging below the childish valentine sign?

    Pity this ‘tard is two houses away because I’d slap up a wall between properties an hoist a big-ass Mexican flag rightatthepropertyline.

  16. Dana says:

    “Not affiliated with 1313 Hoboken Ave”
    “Beware of morons in neighborhood”
    That’s all I got now.

  17. Stephanie says:

    Really folks?
    Whatever happened to Free Speech?

  18. Sisty says:

    I’m with Suspended — those bricks are just crying out for help.

  19. betty says:

    Oh god, I hate it when neighbours proclaim themselves like this. How about copying the sign, but sticking arrows in all the hearts (and have blood droplets pouring down from them) and having the same flag at half mast? Would they get it??

  20. Erika says:

    Hi Sister!
    All I know is that I am really looking forward to your List of Banished Words, 2017 edition.
    And, for words NOT invited back to the party, may I be the first to submit:

    Can’t take it anymore. It’s even worse than its mansplain equivalent: hon’
    Let’s just shove spiders in our ears instead.

  21. Amanda says:

    Just make a Trump sign, but bigger, and draw the No symbol over his name. Now you can start a (nonviolent, possibly passive aggressive) war with your neighbor. I recommend an email war so you have time to think of witty comebacks, along with lots of side-eye when you see them on the street.

  22. AK says:

    “Make America Grope Again”

  23. Dj says:

    How about lining up a bunch of the tall, blow up wiggly advertising characters that “dance” on the neighbors side of your house, and dress them up like Muslims, NATO members, , Asians, Mexicans, “hot”women and let them rip…don’t forget obnoxious bright lights and maybe a fog machine.

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