Fag Hag

I am a big fag hag and always have been. I’ll bet it’s politically incorrect to use the term but I think my gay friends are okay with it.   There’s nothing I love more than a gay man who will talk about fashion or just talk shit with me.

I’ve been assured that gay men are not ALL witty and stylish, well-read and opinionated. I’ll have to take this on faith. In my experience, gay men are fun to be around because they are expressive. I feel completely comfortable in the company of gay men.   I may even be a gay man trapped in a woman’s body.

Except for my indifference to Judy Garland and Barbra Streisand, I’m a great big fag. I love to look at men’s clothes and I don’t mine wearing them if they fit nicely. I’m interested in the arts and I appreciated the theatrical in nearly every context. I don’t seek out gay men because they “make me feel safe.” They make me feel stimulated and free to be the bitch I am.

I wish more men were gay! I’m always ready to talk about hunky unattainable models and Dior Homme jeans. My gay friends don’t want to bother me with sports talk or even car talk. I like learning about grinder and I like hearing guys whine about their imaginary weight gain. I can appreciate their attractiveness without sexualizing it. I LOVE being called Doll. It’s all good.

If you’re like me and you enjoy a gay sensibility, you will love http://chateauthombeau.blogspot.com/ , http://fiercerthanyou.com and http://swallowglitter.blogspot.com/ to name just three dazzling websites.

Now. Who wants to  chastise  me for my terminology or stereotyping or what have you?

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31 Responses to Fag Hag

  1. Chastise you? No not me, I’m a massive fag hag too. Started in HS. The gay boys were funny, always ready for mischeif and fun and weren’t trying to get in my pants. Being an outcast probably added to my love of gay men as we were able to bond over that. And it exists to this day. My gay friends love my husband, he’s secure in who he is and loves to tease and joke around with them, in turn they do the same to him and he loves it. They positively fawn over my daughter, and early on I explained about same sex relationships so she’ll probably grow up to be one too! What’s not PC about great friendships? I have no idea if the terminology has changed, they still call me their fav fag hag!

  2. J says:

    love this blog – so happy to have found it (through another blog somewhere). love your take on everything so far. keep up the great work… VERY entertaining. j in Toronto!

  3. the real andrea says:

    I agree. Every woman should have a gay friend!

  4. Ann says:

    You will receive no condemnation here. I too am a a fag hag. A gay male friend brings a great deal to the lives of women like us.

  5. Sam says:

    You’ll get no judgement from me.

  6. Kimberley says:

    My daughter calls us Fruit Flies.

  7. annemarie says:

    i get it. i used to think it was because they had to wise up early and be more self-aware and mature than other people in order to figure out and accept that they were gay in the first place. but since this doesn’t seem to apply to gay women (who never seem to want to be friends with me and thus are mostly bitches, in my experience), that must be bullshit.

  8. sisty says:

    I have no opinion, but check out Daphne Merkin’s article in Elle last month, where she “puts a bullet” in the fag-hag . http://www.elle.com/Life-Love/Sex-Relationships/My-Boy-Friend

    I just spent the week with a couple of gay friends who find drag queens “scary”. Proof: they couldn’t watch BeenerKeekee lip-syncing to Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream. Though they did whine about their imaginary weight gain, daily.

  9. G-Monét says:

    Luv ya Sister Wolf. & how the hell do you know about Grinder? Amazing that you know though 😛

  10. Daniel in Mexico says:

    It’s GRINDR not Grinder!

  11. Patricia says:

    I am definitely a fag hag. Thanks Sister for providing us with an accurate term!
    Though I usually don’t talk about my appreciation for the gay community out of fear of being compared to Madonna.

  12. Audi says:

    You’re speaking my language, sister. Few things make me happier than being around gay men. I’ve also never met a gay man who was offended by the term “fag hag.”

    Lipstickeater wrote an interesting post about film, feminism, and fag hags that you would surely enjoy: http://lipstickeater.blogspot.com/2009/12/three-fags-and-feminist.html

  13. I’ve been trained as a fag hag I love it. I’m v upset as my best gay friend is quitting the UK to return to Australia – he is doing it via LA so I can send him round!

  14. Sister Wolf says:

    Daniel in Mexico – SORRY, I forget “flicker/flickr” too.

  15. Dave C says:

    Thanks for the tip, SW! I hadn’t realised the witty and talented Thombeau had reopened his Chateau. My favourite gay blogger on all the internets.

  16. A woman cannot have too many gay male friends. I feel sorry for any woman who don’t have at least one in her life. I treasure mine.

  17. Marky says:

    I prefer ‘female friend of male homosexual.’

  18. Daniel in Mexico says:

    I prefer the term “fag bangle”!

  19. Andra says:

    Lindsay and I are affectionately known in “circles” as Hettie and the Fag.
    There is so much laughter with gay guys. They know how to laugh at life.

  20. patni says:

    I like the term “fruit fly”. And yes, i am one, and could never have made it this far in life with out a posse of bitchy snarky boy crazy designer whore boys to make me laugh and pick me up when i fall down.

  21. Sister Wolf says:

    Marky – Yeah but it dosen’t work as an acronym. Plus I like “Significant female friend of male homosexual”

  22. tartandtreacly says:

    I went to a high school with an interesting demographic of immigrant nerds and theatre geeks. There wasn’t a lot of cross-pollination going on, but occasionally it happened and you got a crop of nerdy flamboyant Asians. (A sample of my extracurrics: Spacesim and “Fiddler on the Roof”.)

    I was a baby fag hag and proud of it.

  23. Cricket9 says:

    Oh, Oscar W. – my adolescent fascination! How I hated that stupid “Bosie”, not to mention his horrible father!

  24. Andra says:

    Ah yes. Bloody Bosie.
    I blame him totally for Oscar’s downfall and premature death.

  25. Jill says:

    Everyone on Grindr would love a little flicker!

  26. Sister Wolf says:

    Cricket9 and Andra – Yep, Bosie was a faithless little bastard who didn’t deserve the adoration…but isn’t that how it works, so often?

  27. Andra says:

    Sis, yes, sadly, that’s how life is.
    Of course, we mustn’t forget Oscar’s overwhelming vanity, which, egged on by the despicable Bosie, caused him to believe he was so absolutely superior to everyone else, that he would be invincible forever.
    And how a fickle, adoring public can turn love and adoration into scorn and derision in the twinkling of an eye.
    Still, Oscar left us such a wonderful legacy.
    Anybody read the Canterville Ghost lately? I haven’t but I should…. and will.

  28. Cricket9 says:

    Andra, I agree – but, on the other hand…he almost, almost WAS superior to everyone else. Oscar’s plays are still wonderful.
    I do feel sorry for Mrs. Wilde tough.

  29. Hammie says:

    I’m a fruit fly too xx

  30. Lori says:

    My 24-year old gay son tells me fag hag is out, the new phrase is “fruit fly,” which I find oh-so-charming. As something of a fruit fly, myself.

  31. liz says:

    100% Fag Hag here and damn proud of it. I just can’t get behind “fruit fly”, I’ve tried (not really).

    I’m even more of a DRAG hag, hi! “RuPaul’s Drag Race” is the best show to have ever happened to me. I want to be a contestant SO BAD, it hurts.

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