Horrible Celebrity Baby Names


Have you heard of an actress named Moon Bloodgood? I’ve just seen her name two days in a row, and I’m not happy about it. I’m not happy about Soliel Moon Fry either, but I’d forgotten all about her until I read something about her kid, who she has saddled with the name “Poet.”

Poet is a really, really bad name, and I’m wondering if celebrities are consciously trying to outdo each other in the Stupid Name Olympics. Demi and Bruce were at the forefront of this movement, way back when they named their kids Rumor and Scout. Poor Rumor is now 18, and already a burned out coke whore, but what can you expect with a name like that? I’m sure it’s traumatizing.

Once you accept “Apple” as a name, there’s not much room to be shocked, but “Poet” seems like the apex of awfulness, somehow. Robert Rodriguez named his kids Rocket, Rogue, Racer, Rebel, and Rhiannon. Maybe he really wanted puppies!   British socialite designer Lucy Sykes has named her new baby Titus, which is slightly less stupid than his older brother’s name, Heathcliff.   And actress Rachel Griffiths has a kid named Banjo.

Ugh!   Remember when names like Madison and Dakota were the most sickening names around, and every SUV was full of them? Remember being annoyed by trendy grandpa names like Sam and Harry? Those were the days! It’s gotten totally out of control, with no end in sight. Here are last week’s top ten baby names, according to parenting.com, all of them sickening if not downright tragic.
1. Jayden
2. Riley
3. Asher
4. Ryan
5. Colm  

1. Sanne
2. Abigail
3. Emma
4. Shiloh
5. Aurelia







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13 Responses to Horrible Celebrity Baby Names

  1. Suebob says:

    I think the Jayden, Tayten, Caden, etc juggernaut is one of the ugliest developments in child naming in years. Asher – well the “ash” prefix makes me think of BBQing. Sanne?? How did I miss THAT one? How does one pronounce it? Sane? Say-knee? Sahna? Help me.

  2. Sister Wolf says:

    It’s pronounced sah-na, and it’s a popular Scandinavian name. I don’t like it. You are so right about the Jayden-Aiden scourge.

    Are these parents deaf? Ugh. Keep me posted on any new criminal naming activity.

  3. MrsMackin says:

    I once had a friend who wanted to name her kid Family. I’d take Apple over Family any day.

  4. Sister Wolf says:

    Oh my god, same here!

  5. my opinion says:

    The name Asher is of Hebrew origin. A biblical name for a baby boy.
    It is not a common name but I do like it.

  6. Jools says:

    Remember Frank Zappa? Moon Unit, Dweezle , and ??????? Dweeb????

  7. Julia says:

    I love the name Asher. It is a biblicial name meaning Happy in Hebrew.
    The name Ashley, Ashlee is pretty too. Yes they are common but still pretty.

  8. Noa says:

    This was posted ages ago, but for some geeks like me who go through the archives: Sanne, is a scandanavian/dutch name. Super popular in Holland, and sounds like the most boring name you can think of here.(I can think of at least 25 sanne’s I actually know!) It’s pronounced sah-nuh, in a really really awfully dutch way. Yeah the name sanne sucks, but unfortunately it’s not weird at all.
    To be honest I love it when people give male names to their daughters, it’s my idea of a good joke, but then again, I might just have been screwed up by my parents who did that to me!

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  12. Great summary in the year- poor option for amount one. It really is a mess. Let is hope for a improved 2010.

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