My meds don’t work anymore but I’m afraid to get off them. Effexor is notorious for terrible withdrawal symptoms like dizziness, nausea, migraines, nightmares, brain zaps, insomnia and more. Drug companies prefer the word “discontinuation” to “withdrawal.” They warn you to seek your doctor’s help if you want to stop taking your meds; they know you will be fucked, no matter how slowly you titrate down.
My prescribing doctor insists that I should try adding Abilify. Call me crazy but I don’t want to add drowsiness, weight gain, blurred vision, drooling, restlessness and possible tardive dyskinesia to my current panoply of “challenges.” He has written prescriptions several times, saying, “What’s the worst that can happen?”
The original literature on Ability says:
[it] can be effective in treating the acute manic episodes of bipolar disorder in adults, adolescents and children. However, its effect is only useful for the manic phases with little or no effect on the depressive phases.
Abilify is an expensive drug and so naturally the strategy is, Just use it for other shit as an add-on! If I wanted some more debilitating side effects, I could just stuff my face and bang my head with a frying pan every day.
If you’re taking antidepressants, you probably had a compelling reason to start. But no one ever says, “Hey, you’re functioning pretty good now, let’s get you off these meds!” And no one knows the long term consequences for your poor brain.
Once in a while, I forget to take my Effexor. I can always tell the next morning, because one day without them triggers epic nightmares of blood pouring from the ceiling or worse.
I’m never going to be “happy” in the usual sense. I would settle for miserable. Meanwhile, my brain is stuck in exhausting circular rumination and an urge to be unconscious. I keep wondering about the purpose of life. Not just mine, but mine most acutely.
Do normal people wonder about this? I just don’t know. What are they thinking about instead?
Does anyone have any advice that isn’t a personal horror story? Or if you must, I’ll listen to your horror story. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
Bin all those pills and instead switch to dry martinis! They may not be any better but at least they cheer you up, er, before you pass out.
Of course, it is important that you mix your dry martini the proper way:
a) Find a jug that will fit in your freezer.
b) Choose your favourite gin which might, of course, require an extensive tasting operation – and that’s not bad, either!
c) Buy a bottle of French Noilly Prat Vermouth – take my word for it, no other Vermouth will provide a better flavour.
d) Fill your jug almost to the brim with gin.
e) Remove the top from the Noilly Prat battle, look in the *opposite* direction and splash some in the general direction of the jug – well, you don’t want to weaken the gin too much!
f) Place the jug in your freezer overnight.
g) Next morning, peel a thin sliver of lemon peel and *wipe* it quickly round the inside of your martini glass, then pour in your ice-cold dry martini.
h) Drink it – but only in small sips at a time.
i) Think about having breakfast, or, if that is too difficult, pour yourself another drink!
Dear ‘Big Sis’, you can always rely on me for good advice! In the meantime, take proper care of yourself.
I suppose it wouldn’t qualify as “a personal horror story” as I chose not to start the first recommended med for a pulmonary condition I’ve somehow developed (I somehow think maybe acquiescing to the folks “asking” my physical presence after a bunch of oilwells were set alight may’ve had something to do with it).
Anyway, topping the possible side effects list was, oily flatulence.
I think, had I accepted that, I’d needed an anti-depressant as well.
My advice tends to be useless or stupid, but maybe you need more chocolate.
Or maybe distract yourself by arguing with Christian conservatives about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict.
I don’t have any personal experience with Effexor, but this https://ask.metafilter.com/20094/Tapering-off-EffexorXR
was an interesting discussion. It sounds like tapering off might work for some people. This one https://ask.metafilter.com/125324/Another-lovely-part-of-coming-off-an-SNRI is about supplements that have helped people anecdotally. I dunno.
Please know that I wish you well and appreciate your writing. I hope better days are coming for us all…and more martinis too!
in-patient withdrawal program? Ayahuasca ? L-theanine?
I think it was Freud who said “the purpose of psychotherapy is to replace misery with ordinary human unhappiness.” I hope you don’t have to settle for miserable, but somehow achieve ordinary unhappiness.
Like Christina, I appreciate your posts and look forward to seeing them in my inbox–best wishes to you.
this worked for me: http://www.taperingstrip.org/ good luck!
Sister, in my experience, not taking my Meds did make a difference…I felt bad ALL the time. When I’ve tried to get off for one reason or another, it wasn’t good. My husband said “just take them” and that was that. I felt better. I know people who seem to just be at ease with the world. Who don’t seem to be raging inside a good deal of the time. Who don’t question every little thing, work it over till it’s bloody in their brains and fall asleep from exhaustion. I’m as happy as I’m going to be. There are things and events that make me happy. Some people. Just try something different. When I started these Meds were lethal, made my skin smell, I had to get blood tests weekly to make sure my liver wasn’t dying. Now, things have improved exponentially. Try. Try. Try.
I’m on Team Duff.
The electric shocks from coming off meds too fast arent as much painful as scary. But the thing is, I need meds. And I know that. There is no coming off of them because of “feeling better”. Thats just things balanced out.
If you take meds because you need them, there is no going off. Any more than you would stop taking your blood pressure meds or a diabetes med. I always feel bad when people are so anxious about stopping taking mental health meds. Like that is admitting some sort of weakness, or there is some shame in it. Just take them if they make you feel better. If they dont, it is time to get on something else.
Madam, you are obviously a lady of taste and discrimination, allow me to pour you a drink . . .
Having read through the forums on Effexor withdrawal, one thing that struck me is that basically by stopping the SSRI, you’re forcing your body to provide serotonin when it hasn’t had to do so for a long time, and so you’re effectively trying to live without serotonin until your body figures out how to manufacture it again.
I’ve never used an SSRI, so take this with a grain of salt, but since I have depression and other things, I’ve often researched SSRIs and alternatives when trying to treat myself. So based on my research and experiences, I’d like to suggest tryptophan to help with SSRI withdrawal. The time that I used it, it was illegal to use on humans but I found an online veterinary pharmacy that would send it to me. My experience was that for the two weeks of the dose that I had, I was suddenly functional like a normal human being. Like, I didn’t feel any different in my head, but things that I’d been trying to achieve for forever suddenly became feasible. I accomplished more things in two weeks than I had in the last 6 months.
Tryptophan is a substance that your body can manufacture serotonin from. So while your brain is dealing with a sudden lack of serotonin during withdrawal, making it bioavailable during this time maybe would help with the symptoms.
So again, this is theoretical and not from experience, but my experience with tryptophan in pill form was incredible because of how non-intrusive it was. You can also get tryptophan from foods, and that’s what I do now, but imho it doesn’t really work for critical periods, because the help is too gradual.
If you take the Abilify, ask your doctor about akathisia too. It’s a rare side effect but it’s super-unpleasant… the word literally means “can’t sit down” and you can’t stop moving. It kept me up all night, and then, on zero sleep, I walked six and a half miles trying to walk it off, with no luck. The first time you can’t sit still, discontinue use IMMEDIATELY before it gets worse. Fortunately it goes away pretty quickly once you stop the medication.
Was on Paxil for eight months, it worked like a dream and it about 4 weeks I was a very different person, thinking “shit, THIS is how normal,people feel all the time?!” Then my doctor said “let’s stop it, see what happens, we can always start again”. I stopped, for two weeks everything – music, colours, dreams, was incredibly intense, then it leveled out. The depression did not come back since, for over 20+ years by now. So there are doctors – in Canada – who tell you to stop. I live now in South America, often translate for American expats at doctor appointments. A list of 12 and more pills taken daily is not uncommon. The local doctors try to reduce the medication, which they say is mostly unnecessary, the reaction is, typically, fear. A French neurologist practicing here told me that he can’t diagnose the patient, an American woman with a list of complaints a mile long, because he doesn’t know which symptoms are caused by overmedication, and what’s really going on with her. He asked her to gradually reduce some of the 15 drugs she was taking, she refused, convinced that she’ll die. Sad state of affairs.
I’ve missed your blog so much! I’m back and promise never to abandon you again – I stopped reading blogs altogether and have no idea why. (yes i do)
One question – when did you start on the drugs? I guess I’m asking as I started mine about 1.5 years ago (after being on/off thru my teens) and I wonder if I’ll ever be drug-free again, and if the length of time taking them would effect my ability to get off them.
David Duff – If only this worked.
Romeo – Excellent advice.
Cristina – Thank you!!!!!
Angela – SSRI’s are kind of the devil, I’m starting to think. Thank you for this suggestion!
Mike Kirby -YES, I’ve heard of this, how awful!
Maya Sienicka – How great that you had such a brief period of medication! Ideally, that’s how it should work, right? I actually hate pills, I have trouble getting myself to take the calcium I need. I’m just going to smoke more weed, for now.
Sonja – Thank you, looking into these.
Mary Liz – Thank you sweetheart.
Dj – Well, I’m definitely afraid of feeling worse. I wish I could take something else without having to get off Effexor first.
Madam Restora – You guys are a cute couple!
Kellie – Shit.
JK – That’s a strong deterrent!
han – That’s amazing! Thank you!
cami – I’ve been on Effexor for close to 20 years I think. There is no good research on how antidepressants affect the brain over a long period. But everything points to bad news, the longer you take them. They obviously affect the whole nervous system. They fuck up your libido, make you constipated, and some can promote cataracts. On the other hand, if they keep you from wanting to kill yourself, then they are a blessing.
Have you tried the usual self-care shit like daily exercise outdoors ( it has to be outdoors, gyms don’t have the same effect on the brain!) mindful meditation, tai chi, CBD oil if weed doesn’t relax you, talking to a really smart psychiatrist?
Have your meds stopped working or are you just wanting to stop being enslaved by meds?
No matter what, please make a commitment to not harm yourself, okay? Love, mommy. xo