I came across this picture of a Nature Girl With Lesbian Stick while browsing at twistedlamb, a blog with a very strong sensibility I’ll call Pagan Hipster. It involves S & M, sexual ambiguity, Goth glamor and a whiff of bestiality. It’s the work of a stylist who manages to find strikingly sinister images that often attract and repel, without just relying on leather and spikes.
When can we call for a moratorium on leather and spikes? It’s like every sex-shop since the beginning of time has spewed its merchandise all over the fashion industry, leaving moto-this and moto-that everywhere. Enough, for godsake! The backlash is bound to be a return to modesty and preppy cleanliness. I think I’m ready for it.
Looking around the fashion blogs, I see how many are basically a collection of images, sometimes punctuated by a collage of “Stuff I Love!” or “Things That Inspire Me!” Kate Moss, Bridgette Bardot, Anita Pallenberg, and Jane Birkin are the usual style muses, then there’s some obscure Death Metal Band or European poet.
I’m more inspired by people like Tragic Fashion Boy, who makes a bold new statement with red (thanks to andrea for the tip!)
For some reason, even though he evokes my maternal instinct, I just can’t imagine being his mother. But in the photo below, I feel he is talking to his mom. Am I right?
Who is he talking to, and what is he saying?
Definitely talking to his Mum. And I’m definitely loving the red. That would be me outside a fashion show catching up with my mother and telling her about the show which she wouldn’t give a hill of beans about.
He is asking his mom permission to dye his blonde bowl cut black… because nobody takes a blonde manboy seriously.
“Hi, mom? Yeah, I fell and ripped my tights on the way to the meeting of the Cult of Fashion. Can you bring me a new pair? Yes, I’m downtown. On the steps. Yes, of course I’m wearing my red robes that you made for me. No, you don’t need to bring me more sensible shoes. I’ll be more careful next time, I promise. Okay. Thanks, mom. Bye.”
He looks like he’s trying too hard to be Patrick Wolf, but the red definitely makes a striking image.
He is telling his mom not to call him at school to remind him to eat his lunch. He is not hungry today, as he already told her when he skipped breakfast this morning.
“Can’t you remember anything, mom? You must be getting senile…but at least you’re not getting fat like I am.”
Five minutes later he freaks out when his mom tells him something has come up and she will not be able to pick him up after school. He will have to take the bus or walk the two blocks between school and home.
“Bus? Hello?! Walk? OMG, Mum, you know people like me don’t do that.”
Then he makes an ultimatum: either his mom picks him up or sends him a taxi. Otherwise he has no option but to OD with Ibuprofen again. “Let’s see who’s sorry then.”
Looks like he/she/it turned up on the wrong day for a fashion school graduation ceremony and is making a call to find out where everyone is. Of course, I could be wrong – might all be a part of some edgy/new age/casual chic style masonic gathering with a weird Stanley Kubrick inspired sacrificial initiation ceremony.. curiously fascinating.
I mistook him for a girl. I think it’s the coat that did it- it’s lovely, though, and I have a weakness for strong reds.
Oh I missed him!!!!
he’s probably telling her that the other fashion kids are being mean to him. and she’s telling him that they’re just jealous!
I say he is calling Dominos. Large deep crust with cheese stuffing. And wings. xx
Haha, I knew you’d post those photos 😉 I actually thought he looked like the Sweidsh pop singer Robyn in that last photo.
‘Hey Mom did you take my Bobbi Brown concealer? Because it’s not in the pocket where I left it just in case I needed a touch up. I’m so mad at you! Stop letting my calls go to voicemail!!!’
Eegads, twistedlamb is such a claustrophobic click: a devilworld of banality far more sinister than the vague perversity the author intends.
Tragifash appears to have gotten a Victoria’s Secret robe for Yule from his tacky American cousin and just got back from the eating disorder clinic…so, oui, what-the-merde, he is going to wear it…for irony and to hide the kilo he gained to buy his sweet release. Fromage…quel dommage.
Charles brings out my maternal instinct too. Have you seen the interviews with him by Diane Pernet? He’s very sweet and shy and blushes like crazy.
Tragic Fashion Boy is either on the phone with his mother or his therapist (or they may be the same person, or they may be having a 3-way conference call). Turns out there is totally another boy at the fashion show wearing that same robe and at this point in the conversation, he is hissing at the injustice of it all. They have not reached the “advice” part of the phone call yet.
He’s asking if his mum has time to alter the length of his robe just in case he trips on it and has a tragic fashion fall whilst posing on the stairs.
I do love red.
Off topic…did you see these life-choosers on the cover of intouch:
http://jezebel.com/5447191/sarah–bristol-palin-push-pro+life-message-in-new-in-touch?skyline=true&s=x
In the first picture I am trying to understand the correlation between being a nature girl and intense waxing. There must be salons deep in the wilderness ???
That is the best lesbian stick. I had my eye on a good one last year in a local jeweller’s shop but I think they cottoned on to my casual lurking and hid it.
I love this one. It is definitely the No. 1 in lesbian sticks.
I am moving to Bali and will for sure find one there. The Balinese can do anything. Antiques made while you wait and all. They will have no trouble rustling up a lesbian stick or two. I may even open a shop selling nothing but lesbian sticks.
I can start taking orders. Lesbian stick anyone? Beulah, Beulah?
The other creature is probably not of this planet but as long as he/she/them doesn’t scare the horses, don’t worry about it.
He was calling me. We were discussing whether or not you should photoshop yourself into a picture with him.
Aja- I love red too.
devin – Don’t give him any ideas!
enna – Hahahahaha!
Juri – Hahahahahaha!
Susan – Hahahahahaha!
Dru – I think he’s embracing his inner Girl.
theresa – HAHAHAHAHA!
Hammie – HAHAHAHAHA!
Maja – Yes! I see what you mean!
Make Do – Hahahahahaha!
Kate – Quel Fromage, as I like to say.
Iheartfashion – Yep, I’ve seen him blush. He has a good reason to.
Ann – Hahahahahahaha!
Lisa – Hahahahahaha!
Iron CHic- THANK YOU, I hadn’t seen it. Priceless.
erika – Good point. Maybe she uses a natural depilatory or some kind?
Andra – I remember you had your eye on one! Shit. Keep looking!
WendyB- Tell him, Brilliant! Consider it done.
these comments made me laugh til my stomach hurt. What more could I want from this blog??
His mum called to ask him if he remembered to wear his coat as it’s cold and she was worried he wasn’t warm. Then she invited him round for dinner because she roasting a chicken. She said he could bring his nice friend Brian if he wanted.
The thought of you lesbian-stick-story always makes me laugh.
I AM a baby.
the reason I got hooked on this blog is because of your mommy article. I COLLECT MEAN MOMMY FIGURES. (I never knew it was possible via blog…but you know, the internet is a crazy world. now I feel compelled to say something spiteful….YOUR BLOG SUCKS YOU MEAN OLD ASSHOLE.)
and I love Wendy B. In the future, I hope to be her.
He’s calling his mom to ask her where the hell she put his lesbian stick. Which would have totally completed his look.