Jeffrey Campbell “Cleata”

Customer  review:

“I loove this shoe! I purchased it for my bday and wore it with vintage ripped shorts and a collared, quarter-length, oversized, pale yellow shirt and it BANGED!! However, I must add that this shoe is very versatile and can be dressed up or down. It gives every outfit a very polished, futuristic look! Worth every penny :):

(Solestruck, $159)


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30 Responses to Jeffrey Campbell “Cleata”

  1. christin says:

    I am sorry but these are the ugliest effing shoes I have ever seen. My little cousins have them and I want to throw up on every photo I see of them wearing the things.

  2. BethUk says:

    Just the one shoe? Could she not afford the pair? OR are these shoes soooo cool that you can only wear one at a time? Oh, now don’t I feel like the out of touch old fool……..

  3. When she said it ‘banged’ does she mean it humped her i.e. performed a sexual act upon her??

  4. HelOnWheels says:

    Do you have dress the shoe (up or down) because it’s obviously naked? Is it like the Emperor’s new clothes? Also, the foot sweat that fogs up the plastic when you wear it, is that what makes it “polished”?

  5. Stacy says:

    She/he can use a comma but not an exclamation point?

  6. Cricket9 says:

    Yeah, I’m sure it BANGED. I want to bang my head on the desk looking at this shoe.

  7. sisty says:

    Hahahaha! Dressed up or down, yeah, right. They should have called it “the Cloaca.”

  8. Andra says:

    Where does the quotation end?
    Who said this … has she escaped from her place of captivity again?
    It’s a crap ugly shoe.
    I’m so glad there’s only one. Two would be too much!

  9. Debbie says:

    That is the ugliest shoe I have ever seen. Maybe … MAYBE if it was all black I could reconsider.


  10. Sister Wolf says:

    I’d like a few more adjectives about that yellow shirt.

  11. Rosie says:

    Take your pick Sister Wolf. Maybe the shirt is deconstructed, upcycled, thrifted, dry cleanable, partially organic woven hemp but mostly polyester, lemony, daffodil scented, mustard toned, primrose, golden, cadmium hued, flaxen, or biker chic.

  12. Debra says:

    Sister and Rosie, ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha.

  13. Kellie says:

    is it at all painful to wear?? the heel height looks to be offset by the front platform.
    Just wondering, for future potential purchases…

  14. Juri says:

    Only one question: why? Also (too), I would love to challenge the statement “It gives every outfit a very polished, futuristic look.”

    I just got back from a 2-week holiday in Thailand and Vietnam and I must confess there were moments when I felt (slightly) insecure about my degree of being polished and futuristic. If only I had worn those “shoes”.

  15. Miss Fox says:

    I tried a pair of these boots on the other day (for shits and giggles, you understand) and I can honestly say it’s like walking with your feet trapped in a block of wood. The platform makes them almost flat, but you are still walking on stilts. Very tall, unyielding stilts. I’d be interested to know how many injuries have been caused by wearing Jeffrey Campbell’s creations…

  16. regularstarfish says:

    Holy cow – I had to re-read everything because for a second I thought you were serious!!! Thank God it was a customer review. I seriously thought you went off your rocker.

  17. dust says:

    Don’t you think think that people who bought, sorry, curated those shoes got their well deserved punishment in one goal, bunions included? I’m afraid that all our attempts to describe the ugliness of them don’t match the pain they cause to the ones who wear them.

    The thing that makes me really angry is that those shoes prove the stereotype and force me into stereotypical thinking that people with stupid shoes are stupid. I don’t want to be a shoe Nazi! Bastards!

  18. Taylor says:

    I think these shoes are so fucking awful and they literally JUST WONT DIE. I can’t go anywhere out in LA especially on the east side where I live without seeing at least ten fucking pairs in any given night.

  19. kate says:

    your shirt sounds ugly, lady.

  20. patni says:

    rosie: hahahahahahahahaahhahahaha

  21. I have just bought a pair of shoes with a 4 and a half inch heel.
    How I am going to walk in them is a mystery even to me, seeing as I wear Celt boots or trainers every day. They look like this:

    Somehow, I have deluded myself into thinking the thick rubber sole will save me from walking like a newbie man in drag, no, scratch that, a newbie man in drag would have better skills.

    As for Jeffery Campbell, thanks to him, my black milk addiction has finally been quashed.

  22. Juli says:

    Make Do- I just laughed out loud so long and hard, it extremely upset the unpleasant Dysautonomia side affects that I am currently experiencing. It’s OK though, I needed a good laugh.

  23. candy says:

    ah ah this is funny, she describes how she wore it….the shoes make a statement they don’t need a yellow shirt Lol
    thank you Sister Wolf, you made me laugh

  24. Darque says:

    lol. From the name of the shoe, I think I was expecting to see… cleats? Or at least… spikes? Was that wrong?

  25. DarcieDark says:

    I was wearing my Jeffery Campbell Lita booties when i fell and broke my wrist.

  26. Sister Wolf says:

    DarcieDark – They’re out to kill you! I hope you throw away those death-traps.

  27. EricaE says:

    I like these shoes and I have a crappy pair of ‘Lita’ knock-offs. I still really enjoy these posts.

  28. Alice says:

    I really want to know the sizing of these are they just like the normal litas?

  29. Alisa says:

    I think a lot of the comments were unnecessarily rude toward this person’s review. She’s got her opinion and shared it and suddenly these haters come out. If you don’t like the shoe, say it and move on. Why the needy dramatics? If she’s happy with it, more power to her and bless her for having the guts to post about it confidently. She’s got guts, not because of the shoe style, but because she’s not afraid to be different and stand on her own with an opinion these sheep with knives can’t handle. Rock on, Diva!

  30. Monica says:

    Oh totally Alisa, for sure. Poor grammar and punctuation are totally gutsy. And paying $159 for a pair of shoes online is a pioneering venture. A real epic move. What’s a sheep with a knife??

    I don’t think it’s a question of opinion, these shoes ARE fucking hideous. I want to punch myself in the gunt when I see them, and the reviewer apparently figured 8th grade English was a good stopping point.

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