Leather Legging Boots, Hurry!

Leather legging boots


Okay, great. Nothing is better than a fashion hybrid that makes life more awkward and uncomfortable. Leather legging boots (try saying it three times, really fast) are a “creation” by Tamara Mellon that she describes as  “a thigh boot that pulls right up into a legging. You can wear a sweater over it or a big man’s shirt and there’s no gap.”

What gap?? She seems to think she has solved a problem, instead of causing a new one. The only way this creation could be more tragic would be an open toe.

Why didn’t Tamara Mellon go big and cut off the toe? Maybe the summer version will answer my prayers.

All I know about Tamara Mellon is that she used to own Jimmy Choo and she sued her mother for a billion dollars. But I am bracing myself for a deluge of Tamara Mellon crap, fawned over by it-girls, fashion editors and bloggers who describe their content as “The musings of a bla bla bla.”

$1,995 at Net-a-porter and ten sizes are already sold out.

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17 Responses to Leather Legging Boots, Hurry!

  1. Andra says:

    I’m trying to buy one at Walmart, but they don’t have it in XXXXXLLLarge.

  2. Suspended says:

    I can’t really figure out how these would work. You get the hugest arses with size 5 feet and you get size 10’s with no butt at all. Shoe size is not indicative of arse magnitude. It’s not science. There is no equation. Leather will only stretch so much.

    Plus, a baggy ankle on a boot is very unflattering. Almost as unflattering as an open toe (had they had this I think I’d have been sick on my computer.) At least if they had an open toe they’d have broken new fashion ground as the first item with open toe and camel toe simultaneously.

  3. Bessie the Cow says:

    From the S&M palaces to the streets (same thing?).

  4. Nancy says:

    I hope I am in the airport security line directly in back of the first muse to wear these for travel. These innovative no gap Leather Legging Boots will take “please remove your shoes” to a new obscene level. Brilliant. Thank you, thank you!!!

  5. Cat says:

    Just saw these and immediately thought of you. Came on your site to see if you had too and am lo and behold you do! Not sure why I even thought you wouldn’t, you’re always two steps ahead.

  6. Marky says:


  7. Kellie says:

    We have had these in my vintage shop-from the 1960’s. They are always in such good condition, because i dont think they were ever worn more than once.
    Too irritating and too much trouble.
    Also, we only charge about $50.00 for them. I will keep an eye out for a pair for you!

  8. ali says:

    Wouldn’t these fall off? Suspenders should be permanently attached.

  9. annemarie says:

    What could she mean by “gap” though? It doesn’t make any sense at all. Where would the fucking gap be?

    I had a look at the rest of her shit on Net-a-Porter and noticed that the leather legging boots are the only item that comes with Tamara’s explanation. Let’s imagine the situation.

    Net-a-Porter buyer: Hmmm. I don’t know about these. I feel as though they may not sell to our filthy rich but essentially classy and conformist clientele.

    Tamara: Are you cray-cray? OMG, This is a thigh boot that pulls right up into a legging. You can wear a sweater over it or a big man’s shirt and there’s no va-jay-jay! LOL!

    Net-a-Porter buyer thinks for a second and says: Fuck it, I only work here. Ok, I’ll take them. I’ll use exactly what you said as the sales-pitch. What will we say for va-jay-jay though?

    Tamara: Gap?

    Net-a-Porter buyer: Sure, why not.

  10. Cricket9 says:

    Yeah, these and a gimp mask will go nicely together. Maybe a straight jacket if it’s cold.

  11. Blighty says:

    I am sorry to bring things down to a mundane level, but there is a Health and Safety Issue here re ventilation…there is a real risk of Dangerous Gas Build Up, the last thing the world needs is exploding legbootings..

  12. Cricket9 says:

    Annemarie, I agree. The Fucking Gap is puzzling. Since the Fucking Gap does not exist in this wonderful creation, they should also hand over a big tube of yeast infection medication with each pair of LLB. Oh, and a bottle of Beano. That should cover Health & Safety issues.

  13. Wedge says:

    Monstrous, but there’s quite a lot more to Tamara Mellon- http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/adamcurtis/posts/WHAT-THE-FLUCK
    Your blog is hilarious, by the way.

  14. Candy says:

    Hi sis! How do you wash this? Btw, sis, i am in love!!!!!!! <3 divorcing soon anyway lol

  15. Cricket9 says:

    She named her daughter Araminta, abbreviated to Minty. Minty Mellon, I kid you not.

  16. Sister Wolf says:

    Suspended – Exactly. I have huge feet but small hips. It makes no sense.

    Nancy – I didn’t even think of that. Hahahaha!

    Cat – Thank you. Great minds think alike.

    Kellie – I can’t even believe they exist!

    ali – It’s a totally wtf situation.

    annemarie- Make them identify ‘the gap.’

    Cricket9 – Good call.

    Blighty – Eeoow.

  17. Sister Wolf says:

    Wedge – Wow, what a story. Thank you!

    Candy – You can’t wash them. Maybe you just throw them away. (great news and all my blessings on your new love xo)

    Cricket – Unforgivable.

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