Let’s Say You Can’t Stand Beyonce

let's say you cant stand beyonce

People who have criticized Beyonce have been subjected to the wrath of her fans and the loss of their jobs. Some have endured death threats. It is clearly not acceptable to dislike Beyonce, lest the Beyhive come after you or your family.

Personally, I would never speak against her. But let’s say there was something you didn’t like about Beyonce. Let’s say you thought her talent was overrated. Let’s say you wished she would sing the damn song instead of riffing on each note for twenty minutes?

Let’s say you were tired of the fans blowing her hair extensions, I mean hair? Or let’s say her entire manner bothered you, her stance of “Can you believe how incredible I am?” Maybe you think she takes divahood to a staggering new level, making Barbra Streisand look humble in comparison? Or let’s say you thought her stage outfits were trashy and ridiculous, and not in a good way?

You’d probably be in big trouble. You would be flying in the face of all that is sacred and most damning, you’d be accused of racism. To criticize Beyonce is to disrespect the Black community. It would be tantamount to waving a Confederate flag. Why? Don’t ask me, I’m just here to pose philosophical questions.

But I skimmed through an essay called Why Beyonce Matters and learned this:

There is little doubt that Beyoncé’s recent work is seismic in terms of its representations of black racial identity and feminism. Here is one of, if not the, highest paid female performers in the world grappling with issues of misogyny, sexuality, infidelity, black feminism and self affirmation in ways that have never been seen in the mainstream music industry.

Beyoncé has opened a discourse that explores the place of famous women as agents of both political and monetary prowess. That in itself is worthy of respect.

Here’s an article on why her performance at Coachella was an Important Cultural Moment. It’s like she’s Malcolm X, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr., and Harriet Tubman, all squished into a sparkly leotard!

What if you watched her onstage at the Global Citizen/Nelson Mandela concert last week, and you searched your brain for a word that summed up your reaction to her regal deportment, and you thought, “INSUFFERABLE!”

You’d have to keep it to yourself, I know that much. If you even tried to defend yourself by whining, But I love Rihanna!, you would only dig yourself in deeper. Either give Bey your fealty, or suffer the consequences, you fucking closet neo-Nazi.

This entry was posted in Celebrities, Words and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Let’s Say You Can’t Stand Beyonce

  1. Dj says:

    Grappling …poor thing…

  2. Mark- E says:

    I only know one of her ‘songs’– something about single ladies and you better put a ring on it.

    I saw her once during a Super Bowl half time ‘concert’ but it was hard to know what was actually Beyonce and what was some sort of CGI. Also, I have no idea why I was watching the Super Bowl.

  3. Suspended says:

    Sick of Beyonce. I feel the press is constantly trying to convince us she still has relevance. No one cares. She looks fucking awful in those outfits too, and in 15 more years, she’ll have a Jackson nose (she fucked with it far too early in life.)

    It won’t be long until there’s a Destiny’s Child reunion, mainly because they’ve tried to make a silly pop-star seem political and serious, thus alienating everyone but her diehard fanbase. They’ll have to get back to ‘fun’, even if it’s just for the money – first album 11mill worldwide sales…last album 2.5mill worldwide sales (I’d say by Beyoncé standards that’s a massive fail, especially as it was #1 in more countries than any previous album of hers. Hype!)

    I understand the appeal of Solange even less. Her music is dull and despite wearing fantastic designers like Iris Van Herpen, she always manages to make the clothes look ugly. She needs to kick more people in elevators. She was interesting then.

  4. Romeo says:

    Please add “Beyhive” to the last article’s forbidden word list. I’m pretty certain that that word causes dyslexia.

  5. ra says:

    i agree. also, lemonade is just stolen from pipilotti rist’s ever is over all…

  6. JK says:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhVHE5V49oA

    In the case I don’t make a timely return

  7. Dana says:

    It’s entirely her fault that performing in a rock concert now requires waxing. And that daily life requires 6 lbs of makeup. Be gone be- thing

  8. U.W. Zigo says:

    As a negro (I insist on being referred to as a negro at all times as referring to myself as a black man would be equally insipid) I find her music shitty and her vacant, money-obsessed, morally repugnant persona even shittier.

  9. Mary says:

    Dear Sister
    Happy New Year from Western Australia.
    It’s been a while since your last post so I just wanted to say I hope you are ok.

  10. Kinklek says:

    I disagree on the Solange thing, I think she’s the real talent in the family. Always willing to push the style envelope and musically, too… she was working with indie Brooklyn bands before that was a “thing.” Maybe I like her because I was in a New Orleans cafe once and, when I came out of the bathroom, I saw this super cutely dressed girl staring lovingly at my son sitting at the table across the room. Then I realized it was Solange! She gave me a big smile, too. She seems like a real human being, therefore, I like her. Can’t stand Queen B though.

  11. Pingback: Madonna, Canceled |

  12. Pingback: Golden Globes 2020 Exegesis |

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.