Today there’s an article in The New York Times called “Madonna at 60“. I am pleased to report that I didn’t, and will not, read it. Madonna is canceled.
Madonna has already taken up too much of my time and emotional energy. I used to rant about her being a cultural scourge, a terrible role model responsible for every subsequent blonde sexpot who made a career out of hardly being able to sing. Plus Lady Gaga.
When I wrote gossip for a living, I found that on any given day, there was some Madonna news. Her family problems, her Instagram provocations, whatever. I was both fascinated and grossed out. I watched her face swell with fillers and took it personally. I flipped out when she appeared on awards shows wearing revealing outfits. I rejoiced when her legs got chunky.
Now I can stop. I don’t even need Chantix. I’m just going to take my business elsewhere. Hating Beyonce is a pretty good substitute, actually.
Who gives a shit about Madge at sixty? She’ll just insist that she’s still relevant and still sexy. Ew.
However! I have collected Madonna pictures to accompany my made-up stories and just for my own entertainment. Please enjoy or disenjoy them before I delete them. And if you’d like to give me an award for canceling her, I graciously accept.
I so agree. Always disliked her vanilla music. Stupid phony sex videos (Brittany did it better (sorry Sister Wolf if you hate her too, I’m just talking about sex)). Never found her naked or clothed body attractive or even interesting. Total bullshit start to finish as you said. Beyonce overrated too. You want real, try Rhiannon Giddens, Fiona Apple (“Criminal” is the best sex video imo) and Brittany Howard).
LOL! Award given. She’s hideous. That stupid grille slays me. And her book, “Sex” was absolutely boring. Go away now.
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I find her so appalling that it hurts to look. Can’t she just retire quietly and keep bees?
I was most interested in your not needing this thing called Chantix, and since I don’t know what it is, I had to find out. I was so hoping it was going to be an opiod/CNS stimulant/mind clarifier/muscle relaxer/hormone replacement/antifungal/SSRI, and I was going to want to stockpile. But dammit, I don’t smoke.
Sister Wolf, you are so brilliant and such a magnificent writer. Cancelling Madonna is genius, and I understand where you are coming from. However, I wish you wouldn’t, because it is going to get more and more bizarre from now on as she approaches 65, 70 and 80. I wish you would give Madonna another chance and reinstate her in your writing now that she has been cancelled.
Thank you for cancelling Madonna.
She is like a cartoon character now. She just seems silly.
And desperate.
Which isn’t a good look.
Neither are grills. No matter who you are.
I am over conspicuous consumption. They have run out of shit to spend money on now.
So much $$$ they just don’t know what to buy next.