Meet My Brother!


My father is a man who likes to get married and have children. Of my five half-siblings, I have only bonded with Michael, possibly because we were the “black sheep” of our families or maybe just because he’s so lovable.

Michael has more tattoos that you’ll ever want to see. Not only that, he is a butcher. Meat is his calling.

When my teenager was little and I got a full-time job, Michael took care of him every day. When anyone has hurt me, Michael has offered to kill them.   Once, he married my best friend, but they were just being silly and now they know better.

Michael came to visit over the weekend and he brought his beautiful girlfriend Shelly, who is studying engineering and drives a big motorcycle. She is a great girl. I didn’t realize the extent of her greatness until she sent me this picture of a dead squirrel she saw in the street near my house!


May Shelly and Michael be together forever, and may all squirrels be dead ones!


Michael just got his own “ma haine dure” tattoo, as well as an International No symbol that should cover everything else. Great job, Mike! xo


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14 Responses to Meet My Brother!

  1. Alicia says:

    Cheers to Shelly and Michael!!

  2. arline says:

    That is too funny.

  3. Shelly is very good! Gosh that squirrel is scary.

  4. Ann says:

    Now that’s a nice couple! I like tattooed up men who can handle meat. I bet Shelly does, too!

    I bet if you put that squirrel in the other bed in Max’s room the nurses would not even notice, although they might pray for it. Sorry, still bitter.

  5. Sarah P says:

    Har! I’m mentally buying them both a beer!

  6. Moda says:

    Tee hee! Wait a minute.. isn’t that a stunt squirrel?

  7. WCGB says:

    You had me at “meat is his calling.” Well, his smile had me first.

  8. What a lovely couple.

  9. andrea says:

    You are lucky to have a half brother that you are close with. I have a “whole” brother and he has not spoken to me or returned my emails since 1995. Full blooded is not always the common denominator. You are very lucky.

  10. Vee says:

    They really do make a sweet-looking couple!

    That dead squirrel is a mystery. It is still perfectly fluffy. How did it die? Perhaps it ingested something poisonous. Yeesh. As Ann said, it would make a hilarious addition to some neglected hospital corner, but I’m also actually afraid that no one would notice and you’d have to add “Vermin Infestation” to the list of things wrong with that dreadful place.

  11. Mark says:

    That squirrel has X’s for eyes.

  12. Ann says:

    OMG! Tribute tattoos! You are a lucky sibling, indeed!

  13. Dru says:

    I do envy you- no one’s ever offered to assassinate anyone for me, goddammit!

  14. hammie says:

    I am seriously impressed. xx

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