Two Shopbop Girls and One Contest


This Shopbop girl has been bothering me for ages. Why does she always have to jut her head forward like this? Who tells her to do it? Or is it her trademark or something? Waaah, make it stop!


Now, this Shopbop girl really kills me. She’s just so awful! The horrible asymmetrical hairdo, the aggressive facial expression and the weird body-language. I totally hate her! Why is she there? I think of her as The Goony Bird Girl but I’m open to a new name for her if you’ve got one.

Now! Here’s a good contest. Even though I still haven’t announced the 2 winners of the Name the Baby Contest, I do have the prizes ready. (Say hello to Hazel here.)   For this new contest, the prize will be the Dead Sweater by Lucky Jeans. It’s a size small.

Okay:   Find the Shopbop girl I would like to be if I could be a Shopbop Girl. Hint: Think “slutty.”

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41 Responses to Two Shopbop Girls and One Contest

  1. suzbee says:

    the girl in the Rachel Pally “Siobhan” dress mayhaps? Sorry, but I didn’t know how to paste in a picture.

  2. Sister Wolf says:

    suzbee – Ah, that one is Starving Girl, and I HATE her! But thank you for playing.

  3. djstinkya says:

    Sister, that second Shopbop girl looks like a (more…or less?) funkified Katie Holmes. As for what kind of Shopbop girl you’d be, I have no clue. I confess I would rather poke my eyes out than look at fashion blogs. There is a store near my house that sells leather, fetishy, glam stuff that would make you look hot as hell, slightly scary and all bad ass with just the right mixture of sluttiness.

  4. I won’t play as i’ve already won a fabulous prize from Sister Wolf. But thanks for the Hazel hello. And, as usual, the entertaining blog read. How I’ve missed it and how good it feels to come up for some air on Godammit, I’m Mad!

  5. Andy R. says:

    Can Charlie write a program that will do it for me? If so how much will it cost and is that the value of the sweater assuming that I put it on ebay. Just trying to make a buck.

  6. alittlelux says:

    DAMN! i picked starving girl too… oh well.

  7. Alana says:

    Also in Sea of Shoes shoot with Shannon Sewell, it is clear from mum’s body language she is much prouder of Jane.

  8. Sister Wolf says:

    djstinkya – Okay. Where is your house??

    fashionherald – Yes, you are already a winner so you shouldn’t be greedy.

    Andy R – “Cheaters Never Prosper!”

    alittlelux – I don’t like that zombie, she’s just a Jutting Head wannabe. Starving Girl is actually beginning to look a little nuts.

    Alana – Nope, but that one DOES look like an expensive call girl.

    Alana – Very painful. I had high hopes for Carol to stay the hell out of it.

  9. hmmm. this is impossible! there is awkwardness everywhere.

    how about this girl-
    slutty though, i don’t know.

  10. Susan says:

    These models are adopting the poses of mannequins – perhaps Shopbop should just go for mannequins instead? What a great money saving idea for these hard pressed times – will be sending them my fee for this curiously clever advice. Plus, use of mannequins would free up Goony Bird Girl to get treatment for the body dismorphic disorder she appears to be suffering from.

    By the way, I have recently gotten a ‘horrible asymmetrical hairdo’ -thanks c***

  11. David Duff says:

    I think the second one has broken her hip and had it reset badly. I hope they did better for you, ‘Sis’.

  12. Braindance says:

    Is your slutty side the lace see through shirt? She is the one called victorialand in Lingerie Style

    Fuck a duck, they have a lot of expensive crap on this website. I saw a Victoria Lake style shirt that screams Braindance, the price just screams denied pauper. $675? Chris Benz is benzing my mind with such prices.

  13. Jill says:

    I want to be the redhead with bangs…for obvious reasons…she’s tall and skinny…bitch!

    The link that Braindance included was just mind numbingly fucked up. Are those pioneer capri longjohns? Why is she wearing shoes with them?! Is this the new workout wear. Egads!

  14. sarah.p says:

    What the …. WHERE DOES SHE KEEP HER ORGANS?!?!?!

    My mother in law is convinced these women can’t take a piss ‘cos their bottoms are so skinny they’d slide down into the crapper. PHNAR!

  15. sonja says:

    I think the first gal’s head is falling down because her starved body doesn’t have the strength to hold it up.

  16. Ann says:

    The second girl is so busy trying to be Katie Holmes that she forgot to eat.

    I think you might like to be this ShopBop girl, though she only looks slutty in about half of her photos:

    It seems the more visible her bangs, the sluttier the appearance in her case.

  17. OMGGMAB says:

    Well I don’t know if you want to be this model, although I can see it. More importantly, wouldn’t you want to wear a “T-Bag”?

  18. OMGGMAB says:

    As t-bagging is so “in” now.

  19. Surely it is this person who would be the perfect ‘slutty’ shopbop girl


  20. meredith says:

    you crack me up! most models on internet shopping sites piss me off with their poses and ‘blue lightnings’.

    i dont ‘know which model you’d be….shopbop is too expensive for me to shop at.

  21. Vee says:

    I think this model is most worthy, only because I think she’s lovely and seems to actually have a personality:
    hmm demure and boring?

    but ooo no! somebody’s sneaking away from homecoming to smoke behind the drugstore!

    she does look a bit too sugary (a Sister Wolf model needs tons more spice than sugar), but there aren’t many models to choose from!

  22. annemarie says:

    easy! the black one!

  23. WendyB says:

    I was thinking, “Even I can pose better than that” but then I realized…no, I can’t. Maybe they should give me some lessons.

  24. Kate says:

    Always thought VPL had something, but this is more WTF:

    How can anyone resist browsing this site? It’s like the Russian Bride catalogue of LA waitresses. That’s not meant to sound so anti-female.

    Goony Holmes appears to have fixed her Flock of Seagulls for you:

    Slutty with cashmere? WILD guess…

  25. Have re read content – durr I’m so mad with MA writing I can’t read properly. Here’s my shopbop girl guess but I still think they should use use – think of the modelling fee!

  26. They should use you! Geez I need to go back to school

  27. Mark says:

    I like her.
    Her head is way too big for her body.
    She might be Starving Girl; I can’t tell the difference because I’m gay.

  28. Vanessa says:

    How the fuck did I stumble here? I’m procrastinating, even though I have my finals on Monday but screw that, let’s play this game. I reckon that model could be it. (Hope no one else has suggested her. All the girls look the same to me and I can only differentiate them by hair color.) She is kinda giving that “Come hither to the chamber, my lord, I am waiting for you to please me” look.

    But then again, she also looks like she’s about to puke the grain of rice she just ate. Exotic puke-age coming your way.

  29. Sister Wolf says:

    swandiamondrose – I don’t ven have a name for that girl. She may be a new one…she’s not very distinctive, but that garment she’s wearing! Horrible!

    Susan – If the got mannequins, I would never go there! For me, it’s a soap opera over there, Like the Real Whores of Shopbop.

    David – You’re right! Poor girl. I think mine will be okay, although the surgeon showed me how the screw he put in “missed the hole.”

    Braindance – Today, my sister disagreed with the term “slutty” for the girl I want to be. She prefers “trashy.” Now I’m thinking I should have said “groupie!”

    Jill – That redhead (Sad Redhead Girl) has a seriously wonky eye. Stay away from her. That long johns shit is Alexander Wang so we MUST like it, however stupid and ugly.

    sarah.P – They are skinny to the point of being deformed, yes.

    sonja – And she is one of the sturdier ones!

    Ann – Please, Ann! Not Sad Redhead GIRl!

    OMGGMAB – You know, I kind of like that poor model, she is so waif-like. And I would never buy anything by T-Bags, although my BFF would and does.

    Make Do – Aaaaaaaah, you scared me!!!!!!!!!!

    Meredith – It’s not for shopping, it’s for laughing or screaming “Eeeooow!”

    Vee – I don’t feel any measurable hatred for that girl but nope, don’t want to be her either.

    annemarie – Ha!

    WendyB- You can stick with the ankle-crossing, it works.

    Kate – HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! A perfect description! Actually, I do like that cashmere girl, she has a cute gap between her teeth. But I don’t even recognize her!

    Make Do – NO,NOT STARVING GIRL for the love of god.

    Mark – Oh! That one is starving Implant Girl. I see you ARE gay!

    Vanessa – To me, she looks like she’s going off to the gallows. Same thing, maybe. It’s not her, anyway.

  30. Sister Wolf says:

    honeypants – YES! DING DING DING! You have won the Dead Sweater, you lucky girl. Thank you for figuring it out. yay for honeypants!

  31. honeypants says:

    Yay me!!! Too bad I’m not a Small 🙁

  32. Sister Wolf says:

    honeypants – Do you want to win something you can actually use, then?? We could give the Dead Sweater to “kate” for writing the funniest comment.

  33. hammie says:

    As much as I love you I couldn’t stand more than 2 pages of Feeding tube girl and her obviously malnourished mates.

    will try harder next time xx

  34. honeypants says:

    Sure, give it to Kate, who can use it. I’ll just be happy to win your everlasting love and affection xoxo

  35. Sister Anne says:

    This site is an Absulute Disgrace…….. I can not understand why anyone would want to post God’s beautiful name like this? What about RESPECT people? And we wonder why the world is just falling to pieces, no one cares about anything anymore……. I dont care if any of you are christians or not thats not my point. Thats between GOD and YOU. How ever I am Christian and I would appreciate it if you would change this website’s name. Dont use God’s Beautiful name like this!

  36. meladerm says:

    Great post about this. I’m surprised to see someone so educated in the matter.

  37. Ronda Hopf says:

    Well not really much to add here as this was superbly written. I can say that this was definitely what I was looking for though. I can’t count how many times I have looked on a blog for something and came up with something completely unrelated like searching for work boots and coming up with high heels, or something like that. You know, while we are on the topic of this industry, you have to admit that it is becoming more and more diluted with a bunch of BS rather than quality information such as this article. I will definitely add this one to my list of RSS feeds. I just hope you keep it updated more often than you are right now, hah! Anyways, have a nice day and nice post.

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