More Girls I Want To Be

Today I came across this bewitching long-haired girl and recognized her at once as another girl I want to be.

I don’t see many of them but when I do see one, it’s like an ache of remorse and disappointment. It’s like, I should have been her! What happened?   Here is another one. Her name is Pandora, apparently, which spells trouble, but I’d like to wake up and be her anyway. Click on her to see the full glory.

It seems to be all about hair, doesn’t it? It’s not just the hair, but hair is a big deal for me. I used to have a recurring nightmare that someone had cut off my hair. It’s a little like the one where you’re spitting out your teeth. The other night I dreamed there were bugs in my bathtub, and when I tried to squash them, they got bigger.   I would say that’s a Sisyphus dream….or maybe it’s just about anxiety.

Here’s another girl, I can’t remember where I found her but I see I have saved the picture as: “I will be her!”

Here’s a young model named Zippora Seven. Eerily reminiscent of Pandora, name-wise.

Why didn’t I get to be any of these girls? It’s a mystery I will never understand. Of course, I would much rather be Patti Smith or Amanda Palmer, but at this point I’ve learned to settle for worshiping them.

Looking through my file of photos, I came across this artist whose name is poetry itself: Marion Tampon-Lajarriette.

I don’t want to be her but I like the idea of putting “tampon” in my name like that. I guess that’s what Art is all about.

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26 Responses to More Girls I Want To Be

  1. Susan says:

    Hey Sister, relax! Getting older is all about freedom from tampons – and appreciating the practical advantages of short hair. Women of a certain age have usually mastered something far more valuable than hair extensions – the art of arousing curiosity…

  2. Daniel says:

    I think you should add Tampon to your name!
    If you do I’ll add “Anal Douche” as two additional middle names for myself! Deal?

  3. sarah.p says:

    Sister, you’re drawn to girls who already have a good slug of SW in their background DNA, I reckon!

    I’ve always thought it was a bit ridiculous that I wasn’t Jane Morris. I’ve been obsessed with her for years. Godammit I should have been the one wafting about in silks, enrapturing painters and lying around smouldering in a tubercular fashion on fur rugs! No justice and that’s a fact.

  4. Maja says:

    Hah, I knew I couldn’t be the only one who has hair-nightmares! They seem to switch between bad cuts and botched dye-jobs. Horrible!

  5. annemarie says:



    How dare you have stolen my fucking husband you bitch!

  6. WendyB says:

    But you DO have the great hair! And I can call you “tampon” if you want.

  7. Dru says:

    ^totally agreed with WendyB, your hair is glory keratinised (and I read the previous Girls I Want To be post, no blond wig is any match for your own follicles)
    I wouldn’t mind being Girls#1 and 2, but that is probably because I have a thing for long witchy black hair (which I have, though it’s not as long as I would like) and for flaming red hair (I wanted to be the Little Mermaid when I was five. Later on, I wanted to be Shirley Manson and Vivienne Westwood. I see patterns…)

  8. sarah.p says:


    HAH! Go die in a bathtub, shopgirl!

    That being said you did some nice paintings and shit so, you know. . .

  9. e says:

    Totally off subject, but after criticizing a recent post (not even about her, just a designer I wasn’t that into), I just realized that Luxirare actually DELETES all negative comments! Thought you’d like to know. How obnoxious is that?

  10. tobilynne says:

    Nico. I’ve always wanted to be Nico. Now I kind of want to be Pandora.

  11. Dear Sister Tampon Wolf, your hair is a work of art and unlike the others you are not a pretentious c**t. There isn’t much to choose between you and Patti Smith, this is a good thing.

    I was Nico wanabee (style wise) when I was at university and then I got to realise pretending I was a beatnik/louche/Warhol-esque befringed person wasn’t that original. Haven’t said that now I’ve just written this I might turn into her again, it was so easy black top/balck pants/flats/leopard skin coat (faux)and sunglasses – lots of kohl easy and cheap!

  12. annemarie says:

    Dear sarah.p, a.k.a. Jane “The Luckiest Prostitute in the World” Morris,

    I am skinnier than you, paler, and way more pre-raphaelite and melancholy than you will ever be, you fat, re-headed whore.

    Also, Jim Morrison died in a bathtub, so fuck off.

    Also, I want Gabriel’s poems back. He wrote them for ME, not you. I can’t believe he exhumed them from my fucking grave!


    PS: If you need to lose weight, I can give you my laudanum dealer’s number.

  13. annemarie says:

    I think I may have congealed you with Fanny Cornforth, but I still hate you.

  14. dust says:

    Are you sure that you want to be a girl, all over again?
    And your hair is great already…

  15. Jenny Dunville says:

    Good hair is nice but I never even dreampt (sp?) about having a middle name as cool as Tampon – very frenchy. Growing up, I wanted to BE Dale Evans, Queen of the Cowgirls. She had a decent man, a cool horse & could wear pants whenever she wanted. Now that I’m older, I realize she had terrible hair too.

  16. Ann says:

    I could see you being Pandora. If you dye your hair Pandora’s color, I will too. Then we can call each other and ask what the fuck we were thinking. Can you imagine the upkeep? Ugh.

    I always wanted to be Syd Barrett. I don’t care that he was a man.

  17. Deni says:

    You’re beautiful as you are! Yes, it’s hard to live in a youth & beauty, uber-materialistic society, one that does not value age, but there are virtues in growing older and when I discover them I’ll let you know what they are.

  18. omggmab says:

    I idolize Jodie Foster. beautiful, kick ass actress! I believe she is a take no prisoners bitch! Not sure how her hair matches up, but don’t care.

    Other luvs, Sarah McLaughlin (want her voice and her hair), Nicole Kidman (hair and balls for dumping crazy Tom), and many singers. Yeah, I should have had Janet Jackson’s voice, not to mention her moves. Ah, karma designates working on the next life!

    Sister, your hair is great along with the rest of you! Were you Pandora, who would have hosted this c–ty blog? Your mission is accomplished. And besides, could Pandora really minister properly to the Wolf family?

  19. hammie says:

    I want to be Sister Wolf when I grow up.

  20. ERIKA says:

    I wanted to be Sophia Loren, and now Penelope Cruz, if only because she sleeps with Javier Bardem. Generally happy being me however.
    Tis good to covet women who seem to be at least in your own type range.

  21. Zippora looks like Michelle Pfiefer in that photo!

  22. TheShoeGirl says:

    Hey Sister Tampon-Wolf… I think you look like the 1st one but you win cause of your cuntyness and sass.

    IMO anyway. 😉

  23. Anon says:

    Pandora is a friend of a girl I know, and apparently she is exactly the kind of person you’d loathe. The girl related to me how a slightly podgy girl bumped into her at the bar in Bungalow 8 a couple of times and she snapped back with “I know it must be hard for you being in a place like this, with people who look like me, when you look like you, but I think you should fuck off back to your friends at weightwatchers instead.”


  24. anon 2 says:

    I used to go to school with Pandora. That story is actually true.

  25. sisimae says:

    The second girl with the red hair is actually an anoexic drug addict works at ‘Tank’ from the same office block where I worked. She often have cold sore on her lip and frankly really ill looking, and frankly just sickly

  26. These are some great points!

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