More To Love From Shopbop

plastic-bag-dress-sad-redhead

Remember Sad Redhead Girl? Back in the day when she never smiled? Well, here she is in a plastic bag of some kind. It’s purported to be a Metallic Goddess Tank, by Free People. The Shopbop copywriter seems to be stumped by it, and I can’t blame her. In fact, after reading some descriptions today at Pink Mascara,   I realize that describing clothes is quite an art!

The Shopbop writing is full of awful jargon and cliches, but at least they are emphatic about each piece. At Pink Mascara, it’s like “This is so cute, it will look cute with other stuff, maybe.”

How would you   describe this plastic bag top that Sad Redhead Girl is wearing? Don’t get distracted by her wonky eye. I’m looking for a top-notch piece of copywriting.

And by the   way, here’s Starving Girl again, who hasn’t had a bite to eat since the last time I mentioned her. However, she has perfected the sullen expression that is her trademark.

still-not-eating-at-shopbop

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14 Responses to More To Love From Shopbop

  1. WendyB says:

    Hey, wonky eyes are hot! That’s what I keep telling myself at any rate.

  2. Jools says:

    This is Free Peoples latest “Green Tank”. It keeps you hot when it’s hot outside! AND you can use it to wrap up starving girls lunch.

  3. Deni says:

    Biodegradable, post consumer, functional fashion, multipurpose Metallic Goddess Tank. When you’ve seen the error of your ways after purchasing this tank top, place a few seeds of your choice inside balled up Metallic Goddess Tank and throw in dirt hole and water.

  4. rudyzarsov says:

    Redheads can have wonky eyes, sour dispositions or whatever. They are still HOT HOT HOT

  5. David Duff says:

    I assumed it was the very latest in safe-sex devices.

  6. Sister Wolf says:

    WendyB- You have a wonky eye??

    Jools -HAHA, I like the dual purpose.

    Deni- Oooh, post consumer, what a sinister term, are we there yet?

    Rudy – You are just being Rudy.

    David -YES, I see that….a giant condom of some sort. Good eye!

  7. hammie says:

    just found that page on shopbob while clinking unwarily from a vintage cossie site.
    Top corner, voluptuous blonde with traditional ladies tummy in pink malliot.

    Scroll down and find our starving friend. Isn’t it actually ilegal to exploit such suffering?

    http://www.polyvore.com/swimwear/shop?category_id=31

    xx

  8. I can’t really find an angle on the binliner (It traps moisture on BOTH sides! It’s machine washable to 5°! Steam iron only.) I realise this isn’t the sparkly copy you were hoping for, but it’s got a certain workshop common sense that will help the practical-minded to buy a roll of them.

    It’s just a little bit funny that stick girl gets to wear a picnic table cloth as a bikini though.

  9. Shop bonkers! How you amuse me with your low brow alternative to Brown/Net-A-Porter!!

  10. Danielle says:

    Uggh. This is what I do at work, only with shoes. I can’t do it on my day off!

  11. ambika says:

    For whatever reason, I get the Free People catalog. It inevitably makes me feel like I must be going blind because everything in it is uniformly horrifying–and if that’s what people are wearing, and ends up being the only thing on the racks, I will wear track suits instead.

  12. Bob says:

    I knew it…..you’re definitely a fatty.

  13. Amelie says:

    I’m a bit confused. From what I’ve seen of your blog, all you seem to do is take pictures of random, nameless, unsuspecting girls on the internet, whom you know nothing about, and bash them for being skinny? The one you’ve dubbed “starving girl” may be slim but she certainly looks healthy, so who are you to claim that anyone and everyone who’s thin suddenly has an eating disorder and is starving them self to maintain their body shape? That’s like googling “slightly chubby girls”, taking a picture of a random, anonymous girl, and writing an entire post about how she’s a fat pig who obviously eats her feelings. You obviously have some body image issues you’ve never resolved. Idiot.

  14. Sister Wolf says:

    Amelie – Thanks honey! I’ll change, okay?

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