Never Will Say Goodbye


Day six and we’re all still feeding on Michael Jackson. The more we feast, the hungrier we get. I don’t know how much more I can take. But I don’t know how I’ll handle the end of it, if an end is possible.

Have we been here before? What a sense of déjà vu! Even so, this is different because it’s bigger. It’s so big, it’s exploding everything else in its path. Iran, who gives a shit. Health care, just shut up, we need to hear more about Michael Jackson!

Now that he’s dead, he’s more alive than ever. He’s a symbol of everything terrible and tragic. Child abuse, self loathing, exploitation, loneliness, greed, the cult of celebrity, voyeurism, what am I leaving out? The more he’s dead, the more we need to pick at his carcass. There is no stadium large enough to contain all the pathology his death has triggered.

I remember being angry during his trial for child molestation. I was angry at Micheal Jackson, his legal team, the boy who accused him and the boy’s family. That’s all water under the bridge now. Now that he’s dead, who can blame him for anything? He died for our sins. His father beat him into a superstar, and super-stardom turned him into a reverse-Pinocchio whose nose grew shorter until it was gone.

Michael Jackson thrilled us alright. We are more thrilled than he could possibly have imagined. Custody, money, drugs, conspiracies, and the marketing of the marketing. The craziness and the craziness behind the craziness.

I’m sorry, Michael! I don’t want to grow up, either. I wish I could turn away from the spectacle but I need it too much, evidently.

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23 Responses to Never Will Say Goodbye

  1. OMGGMAB says:

    All I can say is thank you Michael, for providing us with this generation’s “music superstar tragic death” that can be mulled, analyzed, and made into a TV movie. Elvis finally can be laid to rest.

  2. Does that mean he is going to rise from the dead in three days? Oh, I guess his career has risen since his death. Is it sacrilegious to admit that I have had enough of the press coverage? If so I will go listen to three Michael Jackson Cds and one Thriller video as penance.

  3. Well said, Sister Wolf! Although my initial reaction to hearing the news of MJ’s death was, “Who cares?” I’ve found myself indulging in all the gossipy coverage regardless. Was he anorexic? A suicidal drug addict? Trying to get out of his concert dates by inducing a coma? And where did Blanket come from? I want to know!

  4. JK says:

    Well Sister,

    At risk of being sacreligious (or something akin).

    Was he a douchbag or a cunt? Maybe just a turd in society’s punchbowl?

    A decent, misunderstood (albeit kinda weird kinda fellow)?

    Perhaps Sister Wolf, you’ve the chance at that millionth and one word we’re waiting for.

    “Oh Shit, I’m tired of this crap” constitutes a phrase, so that won’t do. But it might for Ahmadinajad. I hear Iran has declared has declared it’s elections the “Thank God For Michael Jackson Whenever Event.”

    I note Fox is showing Mullahs moonwalking.

  5. JK says:

    “has declared, has declared” is an acceptable translation from Farsi.

  6. dust says:

    I always thought that he’s gonna be frozen when he dies and will be resurrected when they find a cure for the illness that killed him.
    Luckily, I was wrong.

  7. As always.. beware of simple and sensational answers to complex and troubling problems.. but if his father paid some quack doctor to give him female hormones to keep his voice high during the Jackson 5 days… it would explain a hell of a lot of the following.

  8. Deni says:

    Best (and only) article I’ve read on MJ. A tragic life story, like millions, just on a larger scale and on the world stage.
    But I must admit, don’t hate me for this, I’ve never liked his songs, his entertainment style, his persona, and he definitely lost me with his lyrics “Jew me, sue me, kick me, kike me.” So he contributed gillions of dollars to charity, that’s great . . . tax right-off for the ca-gillions he brought in. He was a hoarder of material wealth (Neverland ranch . . . late night exclusive shopping trips on Melrose Ave in the early 80s. Favorite store: “Off The Wall” for it’s unusual memorabilia. Talk about Ghost World taken to the extreme. I’m sad for him and his family but I’m just as sad for Neda Agha Soltani. One life has just as much value as another and not one ounce more!

  9. Juri says:

    He didn’t mean anything to me when he was alive so his death didn’t touch me any more than that infomercial guy’s death (zomg! wtf! they both died @ 50, dude, that’s weird..).
    But not being able to go anywhere these days without having images of his face (“funny” that they have chosen to show it at its ugliest), or of the mourning masses forced on me makes me want to yella at him to go the fuck away and stay dead already.
    I’ll confess that I killed him if that will make him go away. I’ll even confess I gave him all the drugs he ever did and then some. I’ll sign a statement saying both the biological father AND the mother of his children and any child that ever visited Neverland. I’ll hold a press conference and read the necessary bible quotes about throwing stones and judging and swallowing camels. I’ll marry a mailorder bride, make him stand by me and say that she is sorry too. I’ll say I stole the Iranian elections.
    I’m ready to do anything if he just goes away.
    Of course, none of this won’t help since the funeral is yet to come and there will be hours upon hours of live footage of his glass coffin’s procession to endure on every channel next week.
    I know I should try to respect a dead person or a person’s death but it’s hard to respect someone whose giant, mutilated face keeps haunting me everywhere I turn like some minstrel show mask gone terribly Wrong.
    Show me Obama’s dog, daughters or pecs already!

  10. Jill says:

    Finally…the truth be told. I am soooo over it. I was over MJ 15 years ago. On a lighter note…have a great 4th. I got rid of the comment moderation mode…hopefully all of my scheduled posts aren’t boring bullshit!

  11. Mark says:

    The only good thing about this is that MJ’s death has pushed all those stories about the blond(e) kids from reality shows to the back of the tabloids.

  12. honeypants says:

    “super-stardom turned him into a reverse-Pinocchio whose nose grew shorter until it was gone”

    I love that!

    I read somewhere that at least 12 people have committed suicide because they can’t deal with his death?! THAT is the ultimate craziness stemming from the craziness. Very cultish and weird.

    I’ve been through with him forever. And somehow, I’ve managed to nearly completely avoid the blitz.

  13. WCGB says:

    Well said. So well said I shared it on Facebook, where MJ fatigue is rampant.

  14. mg says:

    Here’s some useless news:

    The military said Operation Strike of the Sword started early Thursday. The missing involves nearly 40,000 Marines and 650 Afghan forces. One Marine said it was the largest Marine offensive since Vietnam and the first offensive of President Obama’s administration.

    Peace? What’s that? Recession? What? Yeah, I wanna hear more about Reverse Pinnochio and Michelle Obama’s arms.

  15. Bill Ding says:

    you are so fuck’n funny! you should get like a thousand awards for being so funny! every post on your blog is funny! you are the funniest person on the earth! you are so smart and funny and such a great writer and you are so funny!

  16. Rudy Zarsov says:

    When Farra Fawcett went to heaven god asked what her greatest wish was.
    “To save the children of the world” she gushed.

    So god killed Michael Jackson.

  17. HelOnWheels says:

    Juri — Very powerful reference and awful mental image there with the glass coffin.

    I’ve taken to switching radio and TV stations any time there’s even a hint of a future mention of MJ. This ridiculous obsession and unwarranted coverage is annoying. Intelligent life forms from other worlds would think he was some kind of religious figure, a god, or world political leader. Can we all go back to saying nasty things about Mrs. Palin and talking about shoes?

  18. JK says:


    Hope you’ve stocked up on batteries for your remote. I had to make an unexpected trip to the hardware store already.

  19. hammie says:

    Well at least he wont be on Twitter. xx

  20. dewayne says:

    all this excess coverage reminds me of one of his songs; “beat it” i.e. the dead horse that he is, and was. what a morbid world we live in.

  21. It’s truly bonkers! My friends and I are going overboard on the death of Mollie Sugden – a little know UK actress who starred in a cult comedy sit com based in a department store called ‘Are you being served’ – she had a long and happy life, was a great fun persn, died with her twin sons by her side. She outlived her partner by 9 years and never got over his death blah, blah – it’s so dull no abuse, self pity etc.

  22. hammie says:

    I am backing up Make Do – Our radio station played “if you can see my pussy, leave a mackerel on the mat” several times today in Mollie’s honor.

  23. Dearest Lady Joanne,

    The show’s not over until the ‘ J A C K S O N 4 ‘ sing !!!

    All hail the pseudo-reunion tour !

    Adoringly yours,


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