Shoe Problems Solved


So many lives are hanging by a thread because of shoes. I came upon yet another blogger who nearly died of a broken heart when she couldn’t get the ACNE shoes she wanted. Thank god she found another pair of shoes, by Minimarket, which then nearly killed her before it all worked out.

I see a real need for consolation cards, especially now “in this economy.” How much would you give to never hear the words “in this economy” again? Anyway, I am too stupid to grasp photoshop so this card is the best I could do. I would also like to see a sympathy card for the loved ones of someone whose shoe anguish drove them to suicide.

You know, “Sorry for Your Loss, May She Find Those Shoes in Heaven,” that sort of thing.

Now that I’m not supposed to shop, I finally carried out my dream of painting some shoes silver. It worked pretty well, although not as well as I expected. I feel good about it. I’m not a DIY person, so it’s an achievement. I do like to spray-paint shit. Just ask Queen Marie.

These shoes were formerly black and around 15 years old. Now they are new, voila!


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15 Responses to Shoe Problems Solved

  1. crocodilian says:

    I handpainted my own pair of chucks a few years ago! I used this sort of metallic turquoise paint and it turned out quite well, actually. Silver is probably more versatile.

    There are lots of bad potential puns for shoe cards: sorry you lost your solemate… I heard it brogue your heart… someday the pain will heel… etc.

  2. Sal says:

    Silver spray paint to the rescue!

  3. WendyB says:

    Next you’ll be shredding t-shirts.

  4. andrea says:

    Learned that from the 9 year old fashion blogger (, eh?

  5. honeypants says:

    Ah, I miss the days of DIY shoe projects & other various experiments! I love your silver chucks! I once made my own ruby slippers. And another time, I had some ONJ at the end of Grease heels, and I glittered the platformy part of those. A friend in art school once papier mached the comics onto some pumps & then varnished them. They were amazing (to my 80’s teenage mind).

    Why not get a glue gun and glitter and feathers and fake flowers and spray paint and give some of those old shoes collecting dustbunnies in the back of your closet a makeover?! You can even market them: Ironic Footwear perhaps? I’m sorry! I love you!

  6. Jill says:

    I’m not crafty at all…althought once I spray painted a cactus bronze. I still have it and stupid people ask me all the time what kind of cactus it is…like bronze cactus’ grow in Africa or something.

  7. So crafty Sister Wolf! Next you’ll be posting DIY instructions for studding your own leather jacket : )

  8. dust says:

    I’ve handpainted many, cut them, changed them.
    I have no respect, I’ll cut everything.
    I’m so great.

  9. Bex says:

    As long as you don’t spray paint on walls, haha!!

  10. I’m lying down two creative events in one post featuring an economic hyperbole almost zero price point in this economy of turning old shoes of 10 years into new shoes of the moment in 10 minutes. Give me a card that says these shoes aren’t dead yet – get up and keep walkin’.

  11. alittlelux says:

    i need one of these… i’ll send it to myself! dark dark days… but not for a pair of shoes, a shirt!

    “off the deep end m by mj tee… taken from us too soon…”

    does it keep you up at night sometimes thinking about things you want to buy? or is that just me…

  12. Sister Wolf says:

    crocodilian – Puns are not really appropriate for shoe-driven suicide. And yet…

    Sal – It’s a cure-all, definitely.

    WendyB- That hurt my feelings.

    andrea – Do not invoke that awful child!

    honeypants – Okay but just to be clear: I was trying to be cool with the shoes, not ironic!

    Jill – HAHAHAHA! People are fun, aren’t they?!

    Iheartfashion – That hurt my feelings, too. I’m just trying to be artistic and look what I get! Nothing but ridicule.

    dust – Are you being ironic or just poetic?

    Bex – I really should. Not with red, though. It’s too Manson Family.

    Make do- Are you touching your face??

    a littlelux – Do you even have to ask?? Of course it has kept me up at night!

  13. dust says:


  14. hammie says:

    # Iheartfashion Says:
    July 1st, 2009 at 6:27 am

    So crafty Sister Wolf! Next you’ll be posting DIY instructions for studding your own leather jacket : )



    Ps. I just finally clicked on that kid’s blog. NO WAY is she writing that herself. NO FUCKING WAY. There is only one 9 year old in the universe that creepy and Dakota Fanning is about 17 now isnt she?

  15. Excellent post, I will be checking back regularly to look for updates.

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