Last night, I was watching Billions with my husband, and was moved to exclaim, “I had no idea I was capable of so much hate!” He laughed, because he has never doubted my capacity. It’s like I’m listening to the character called “Wags” and expending all my hatred on him when suddenly there is that guy who plays whatshisname’s father, and my well of hatred instantly fills up again, ready for action.
It is easily the worst show on cable TV, and we watch it in order to squirm with perverse pleasure at the horrible pseudo-hip dialogue and rabid overacting. But Billions is not my subject right now. Instead, I’d like to address the growing problem (ie., my hatred) of Old Lady Fashion Influencers.
The most formidable of these appears to be Accidental Icon, who insists that she is “freaking cool”despite all evidence to the contrary. I’ll bet she is hopping mad about the newbie imitators wearing big black sunglasses and aggressive white bobs. A friend alerted me to Grece Ghanem, who has “worked her way up from influencer to style icon,” according to Who What Wear. She is 54 but looks ten years older. Revealing her style plan for 2019, she says this:
Goodbye to miniskirts and flat ballerinas. You will also see me sport [fewer] ruffles and all-sheer looks. I am highlighting a more modern silhouette in 2019. I am ready to hang my oversize, padded jackets with the strong shoulders and adopt a softer figure for the New Year.
Jesus Christ, I should hope it’s goodbye to miniskirts!
Checking her out on Instagram, I was rewarded by a montage of annoying fashion looks dominated by Gucci, Celine, and the usual suspects. Grece is a personal trainer so she likes to show off her arms. She also likes to wear those huge white sneakers, which makes me feel sad for her. But then, I saw her wearing a leather biker jacket and my whole world fell apart. I will never be able to feel good wearing a leather biker jacket, thanks to this old bag.
I complained about this to my sister, who said, “If you stop wearing leather jackets, you are giving her too much power. DON’T LET HER WIN!” My sister has become a wise village elder in my life, and not a moment too soon! I will wear my jackets, because I am a proud anti-terrorist, but it won’t be without a frisson of shame.
At least Grece doesn’t seem too self-important like the Accidental Icon, who complains about being marginalized as a senior blogger. Boo-hoo! That’s what you get for letting your hair go white! She is one obnoxious old lady. The last time I looked at her, she seemed obsessed with Rick Owens. But now she’s in a scary ad for Go Daddy!
Oh my god, why is this happening??
Can’t we just be old ladies for fucksake!
Do you think I should start marketing myself as Deliberate Icon? Or maybe Fuck You, I’m Almost Dead?
My style is so nothing, and yet it is so distinctively Me! Jeans and t shirts and sweaters, with enormous size 10 shoes. I ignore fashion rules, except for the ones about not looking stupid, and Mutton Dressed as Lamb. I like to feel comfortable. I like stuff to fit normally. I am not freaking cool, but I’m Hot AF. How do I capitalize on this??
Want to see more old bags? Here.
My recommendation is baddiewinkle. Please check her out on Instagram. 3.8m followers and dresses like a deranged raver from plastic planet unicorn. She is full-on mini skirts, junk jewellery and bathing suits. She loves an inflatable prop too.
My initial reaction was “Good for her…Oh, please make it stop!”
Wow. You are Hot as f*ck…
looking ten years older might be explained by the second photo on the Grece blog where’s she’s clutching a bottle of Coke. That stuff is garbage and I lost interest in continuing for that reason alone. Barf.
And that first image of the accidental icon you posted: for some reason this bandage-y tie up thing is happening right now…A look I call “straight jacket chic” It’s a lot of work keeping up with all those knots and bows.
Your look is timeless and without knowing for sure I suspect you feel pretty great and could rock anything but choose not to. I am the same and wasn’t your hair black or brown? I love it either way.
Whoa. Baddiewinkle.
I was just thinking about this “theme” a few days ago. “Ambassadors of age” my ass! I detest them. Especially Lyn Slater stomping around in the hideous “Go Daddy” ad. And,
Linda Rodin has always made me want to scream. You are not alone—I hate them, too. PS: You look divine, sister. XO
If that woman is 54, I’m 19.
Also, Fuck You, I’m Almost Dead is brilliant.
Start with a fashion blog, then T-shirts*, then…the world is yours, Fuck You, I’m Almost Dead!
Can you do a collaboration with 5. Brown?
Sister, you are gorgeous, stylish, your skin is beautiful, as is your hair! Please, I will buy the first “Fuck you, I am almost Dead” whatever. A pin would be amazing!
They need some LA realness in all their NY bullshit and you are the one to do it!
Whoopsie now I feel terrible about my comment on your Insta… YOU KNOW THE ONE! PS that gray haired lady is just a year and a half-ish older than me. Gonna have to pry that dye bottle out of my cold, dead hand—at least until I’m 70! You rock, Sister.
Suspended – I just feel bad for Baddiewinkle. Same reaction cycle.
Ck Sexton – Right?
kate – YES, my natural hair color is black, and it’s taken around 4 years to get it mostly blond. I don’t know if it’s an improvement but it has been a real project!
BWayne – Yep.
Miranda – Linda Rodin, yes. Thank you for the hate and the compliments!
mark-E – I’m glad you’re on board. 5. Brown is the next Virgil Abloh.
Marla Griffith – Thank you so much for uour support. The photo is due to good lighting. It’s everything.
kinklek – Haha, don’t worry, I recovered, but now you see why I was alarmed. Hang onto that dye. We’ll start a goFundme if they cut our Medicare.
HAHA. You are cool. fuck off.
First, you look fabulous sister! The hair the skin the “lip” . What is your secret?!
I look at Pinterest a lot, bored and old, and I do get a kick out of some of the women on there who are having fun with their fashion. They don’t take themselves seriously. These other hags look constipated, unloved and sad. Grim. Hate them. Trying so hard to be hip when they’re nursing broken hips. My leather jackets stay, but I will look alive and not embalmed like Ms Lyn….
I love you Sister Your Billions comments are priceless.
I can’t watch without feeling like I want to throw something.
Sister, I do so agree with all said. There is no way, Lyn Slater is 64 or 65 years of age. Dang, she is one narcissistic annoying woman. Every 45 minutes we are tortured with her nonsensical commercial. Love your site.
I Googled randomly chosen words “accidental icon is bs” because I was so sick of seeing those soul-withering GoDaddy commercials with runway Oldvira in sunglasses and those PANTS!! What are those?! I was like “I need to know”! The search showed your site near the top of the results so I clicked on over. Thank Jesus in jeans, someone else who feels the same.
WOW! Some real big haters. People of all ages should be able to show their personalities in whatever styles they want without all this negativity. Look at all the young people and their styles. If it makes you feel good, why not. Too much judgement
well…..so, for me, there’s no “hate” for women who express themselves through bold or bizarre fashion. It’s about GoDaddy visually assaulting me at every commercial break when I’m trying to watch TV!! In-your-face, “look at me, look at me” narcissism deciding what’s relevant in the world. Social media vomit pretending to be content — now THAT’s something to hate. …but that’s getting off-topic
When you think something cannot get more pretentious and/or cringe worthy…
Old hippie attention whores… Please STFU
your article is too funny, i was also annoyed by the accidental icon and decided to google the accidental idiot and found your article. These old bags like they are 17 again drives me crazy especially when they try to be the one setting the trend.
Being extremely annoyed by the accidental icon ad on youtube, google brought me here.
I totally agree with this article. I ended up here by doing a Google search to see if anyone else found this broad as annoying and obnoxious as I do. I can’t stand listening to her and seeing her pathetic attempts to be relevant. Embarrassing and ridiculous.
Oh, and she’s ugly to boot. Just sayin’.
I googled accidental icon is annoying and this came up. I can’t stand this commercial. All I am trying to do is watch the Five at Five on the Fox News app and this stupid commercial keeps playing over and over. I want to scratch my eye balls out. She is such a narcissistic. I am surprised that car did not run her over cause that is what I want to do.
While I don’t care for foul language (grey-haired old ladies should be an example of propriety and graciousness to their modern foul-mouthed daughters’-in-law, as well as the impressionable young grandchildren who look up to dear old cookie-bakin’ mimom), I agree with every statement I’ve read in your blog…who the HECK is this Slater female? I use the word female in a hopeful and generous spirit — she looks very decidedly post-menopausal and bristly-chinned, with an ounce too much of testosterone; she is very scary and I literally gasp when she begins her cocky barnyard strut…isn’t that how pimps are supposed to strut? Is she some sort of decomposed, oops, I mean deposed, fashion model? And that repellant red suit! I wouldn’t want to meet her in a dark alley, that’s for sure. I’m now 75 years old, but when I was 17 I used to look at black & white photos of Harper’s Bazaar models for hours on end, wishing I could achieve that exotically chiaroscuro look…Is this Slater an ex-fashion model, or what? Since she is anything but elegant now that she’s eighty, I hardly suspect she radiated elegance sixty years ago. I don’t think my outspoken opinion will shake Ms. Slater, for she looks ferocious, but she really should take down that awful “Go Daddy” ad.