I am pleased to share Shopbop’s ‘Most popular Top Sellers,’ which they kindly revealed to me today. I’m not sure if they think I’ll hurry to buy one of these items, so as to join the In-Crowd, or to make sure I’m ‘on trend’ (a term that’s like a knife in my heart.)
Maybe they just want to help me confirm my distaste for these popular items. That must be it. Good job, Shopbop, you know me so well, it’s uncanny.
1. Dress by T-bags: Hate it.
2. Jeans by J Brand: Hate J Brand
3. Dress by Lewis Cho: Blah dress, sick of seeing his name
4. Boots by Loeffler Randall: Hate this overpriced brand
5. Juicy Couture Tracksuit: Ha Ha, as if!
6. Tory Burch flats: Like I want everyone to recognize her logo?
7. Bag by Marc Jacobs: Crappy bag, and I’m against Marc Jacobs on principle
8. Mini by Karta: Horrible dress, it even looks horrible on the model, Sad Redhead Girl.
9. Ugg Boots: Please!
10. Cashmere Turtleneck: Ugh, hate turtlenecks
There are more items, by Diane Von Furstenberg, Dolce Vita, James Perse, etc. No, no, no, and no.
I’m only sorry they forgot to add a coat with balloon sleeves and something by Philip Lim. Then my list of I Don’t Want It would be complete.
I still love Shopbop, though, and I look at their shit religiously, every single day. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s to check up on Starving Girl and Sad Redhead Girl, who looks a little like Sissy Spacek and as I’ve only just noticed, has a wonky eye. No wonder she’s always sad.
Juicy track suit!!!! What is this? 2001 at Whole Foods in Santa Monica? or 2006 at PathMark in Harlem? Ugg boots! Mother of God! You need to never ever ever never ever go to Shopbob again, even if it means you don’t find out what happens to Starving Girl and Sad Redhead Girl.
You know, I really thought we were done with Juicy and Ugg, but those filthy whores keep wearing that shit. Please, make it stop.
Hahahahaha!
If only I could make it stop.
Agree with everything on that horrible page except the turtleneck. I love them. Especially in cashmere.
As an Aussie I really don’t get the Uggs thing. The only people who wore them were what we referred to as “bogans” and you really didn’t want to be one of those. And have you noticed that whenever girls wear Uggs their arches roll right in and they end up walking on the inside edge of the boot? I feel like handing them a pair of arch supports.