Princess Diana: Fair And Balanced


To mark the tenth anniversary of Princess Diana’s car-crash, the US media indulged in the usual TV specials and analyses of the event and its significance. Predictably, there was a lot of criticism of poor Diana, as if it were her fault that people are obsessed with her.

I’m not mad at Diana for being anorexic or media savvy or whatever it is that pisses off the anti-Diana faction. I don’t worship her, either. I do own a big clock whose hours are each accompanied by a photo of Diana doing something characteristic, like holding a dying orphan. The clock has started to run slowly this week, in an obvious tribute to her.

On my way home from San Francisco last week, I called in to a Fox News radio show whose sneering host had challenged callers to explain why Americans should be interested in Diana. I used a silly English accent and called myself ‘Fiona.’ I was so impressive that I was ‘bumped to the front of the queue’ and immediately on the air. I started blabbing about how Princess Di represented a fairy tale come true, but “at the same time, she was terribly human.” The Fox guy sneered some response, calling me Fiona several times. He finally gave Diana props for her nice teeth, especially in comparison with most Brits. I agreed that teeth in the UK were “a bit crap.” With that, Fiona was hastily dropped like a hot potato.

Is ‘crap’ really a bad word to say on the radio? It’s not like I called anyone a fag or nigger, for god sake! My husband rebuked me for using the word ‘crap,’ just as he still rebukes me for the time I called my boss a cunt. I don’t see any problem with either word, and that’s the truth. Fuck!

Meanwhile, let us take comfort in the word “Dianafication,” which is generally used to indict the British for giving in to emotionalism instead of keeping a stiff upper lip.

Long live Princess Diana, and all the conspiracy theories about her tragic “accident!”

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One Response to Princess Diana: Fair And Balanced

  1. Brian says:

    You obviously don’t listen to the punk band “Stiff Little Fingers”, they had a song aptly entitled “You can’t say crap on the radio” due to a similar experience with the BBC… I’d love to hear your English accent, any chance of a bad quality mp3 to download?

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