Rocking Some Hideous Fashion

If you’re not in a coma, you already know that you’ll be rocking some leather leggings this winter, no matter what. They sold out at Topshop in around five minutes, but too bad for you. You may have to buy the ones by the Olsen twins, or the ones by Rag and Bone. The leather leggings at net-a-porter are already sold out too, but you can get the equally slutty PVC leggings while you wait for a new shipment.

Here is an enticing description of them:

“Amp up your rock kudos with the cult-status Les Chiffoniers PVC leggings. A sleek pant which definitely calls for some serious stilettos!”

Personally, I am against marching in lock-step with the Fashion Nazis, even when the It Item is something I actually like. I hate being told what to do! Just ask my husband, or anyone I’ve ever worked for. And god knows I don’t want to amp up my rock kudos!

So I won’t be rocking the leather leggings. But how about rocking some sequin leggings instead?! They will go with anything in your wardrobe, especially if you’re an off-duty pole-dancer or a Las Vegas showgirl.

You can get them at Intermix. Or if you really want to get some attention, what about these “genie pants?”

You can get these hideous pants at Shopbop, where I feel so at home that the models are like old friends, only I hate them.

Were you worried that I forgot to mention Mrs. P, the bane of my existence? Well, worry not. Here is a brief round-up while you’re waiting for our Monday night PAP Smear meeting (and the new shipment of leather leggings….)

1. Mrs. P just got caught telling a great big ol’ lie! SNAP!
2. The First Dude is flouting the law in Alaska.
3. They even hate Mrs. P in Uganda! That bitch cuts a wide swath.
4. I have begin to crack the Palin Code! Bristol really means ‘pistol’ and Trig is short for ‘trigger!’ Isn’t this exciting! That’s as far as I got, but I know annemarie will work out the rest.

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24 Responses to Rocking Some Hideous Fashion

  1. Sonja says:

    ahahaha! Bristol/Pistol, Trig/Trigger – I think you’re on to something, most definitely.

    Not feeling the leggings tho.

  2. PatrickH says:

    Sorry, Sister. You would look yummy in any of those leggings. Or out of them.

    Sorry. It’s just the way things are.

  3. Sonja says:

    well of course she would. doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

  4. Skye says:

    I like the sequinned leggings, despite no pole dancing/vegas showgirling in my immediate past or future, but those genie pants are bad news. A local cheapo chain here has identical ones for under twenty AUD. Not cashmere but just as hideous!

  5. WendyB says:

    I’m looking forward to wearing my sequined pants this winter. Not leggings, pants.

  6. annemarie says:

    Ok, my men have informed me that Track is short for “attack” and Piper is short for “sniper.”

    Willow stumped them however. After many hours spent in my chief strategizing bunker, tearing my hair out and chain-smoking and shouting at people on the telephone, I abandoned my post in desperation and climbed a mountain until i reached an isolated hermitage. There, in a deep, meditative silence, I unlocked the Secret of the Middle Palin.

    Willow is the SECRET WEAPON. That’s why they gave her such silly name– to throw us off track, to remind us of that nice film with all the dwarfs and Andre the Giant in it, to make us think she was harmless. That’s how you keep it a SECRET, you see.

    I should have known Willow was the one to watch. I mean seriously, what fourteen year old wears PEARLS?:

    My friends, this is no ordinary fourteen year old girl. In the coming days this creature is going to tear off that rubbery mask and reveal a monster so grotesque that you will all cry out and wet your pants in terror. Be warned! And be afraid!

  7. annemarie says:

    (i feel bad for saying mean things about a fourteen year old girl. WILLOW PALIN, if you are reading this, I just want you to know that if I had had a pair of tits like that when I was fourteen, a small insult on the world wide web would not have brought me down. So if I happen to say more mean things about you (you’re fair game, let’s face it– and don’t blame me, blame your cunt of a mother), think of that fine rack you have there and stop your sulking)

  8. Sonja says:

    Annemarie you are a secret weapon if there ever was one. Good thing you’re on our side.

  9. Sister Wolf says:

    annemarie is a fucking genius.

  10. Sister Wolf says:

    Sonja – Good, no leggings for us!

    Patrick – Thank god you’re still stalking me.

    Skye – Isn’t the term Genie Pants enough to ruin the idea?

    WendyB – Have you posted a picture of them yet??

    annemarie – Believe me, I noticed the pearls. Where is that bitch’s secret baby????

  11. susie_bubble says:

    I will be getting those leggings naturally….black sequins…what else am I to do…?

  12. enc says:

    I like the leather pants, too, but I won’t be buying them. I really couldn’t justify them within the framework of my life.

    Oh, I can’t wait to read about Palin’s lie. I’m off now to see what she spoke with her forked tongue!

  13. honeypants says:

    I love that Keith Olbermann is donating $100 to charity every time Palin lies! He’s just fantastic. As for leggings — leather, sequin or otherwise, you’ll never see them on me. And annemarie, you keep me in stitches!

  14. Sal says:

    You shall have to amp up TWO SETS of rock kudos, Sister, as I turn people to stone when wearing leggings. I know you can bear the burden for us both, be it sequins or leather.

  15. Keep digging Annemarie!

  16. PatrickH says:

    Always shall I stalk my lovely Sister. I have, as of last week and late the week before, begun a contract most demanding of time and energy and thought. So I have been wandering arid climes of information, architecture, catalogues, thesauri, and, get this, controlled vocabularies.

    This, home of La Wolf, is the place in all the world where vocabularies are least controlled. I could not come here from THAT OTHER PLACE, with its polices, “regs”, statutes, and BEST PRACTICES, and then come here, with all of its, well, practices, and do or say anything of value to you, dearest Sister, object of my most nefarious lusts, to annemarie (who is indeed a genius, and who might herself become the object of my predilections, so to speak), or to any of PAP.

    If I cannot speak with an UNCONTROLLED VOCABULARY, and engage with glee in WORST PRACTICES, then why would I darken this place with my bureaucratic shadow? Why the fuck would I even show up? No reason as the David Patrick Kelly psycho gang leader in the best movie ever made, the Warriors, said. No reason.

    But I do have a reason now. Sister, would you post a pic of you NOT wearing those leggings? (Hint: broadest of the broad) NOT wearing the leggings. NOT. (Hint over.)

    You may banish me if you wish. Or even send me the pic privately. You know where to find me. The choice as always is yours.

    Your stalker,

  17. I’m all for the black sequins and all for stepping forth in them with a PAP smear t-shirt!

  18. Juri says:

    I don’t know, maybe it’s because I’ve been rather hung over all Sunday, after entertaining an out of town friend all Saturday, but I can’t seem to be able to shake the mental image of Grandpa in PVC leggins off my mind.

    Wearing those, he could erase one European NATO country after another from the list of Americas friends, like he did to Spain, and make all the statements he likes about the strong state of the “foundations of American economy”, and he would never have to try to explain or reformulate those statements afterwards, and pretend not to be senile, as no one would pay attention to his words.

    We woud all be busy looking at his leggings. They would be an even better distraction than Palin and her family.

  19. Sister Wolf says:

    Susie and Make do – You know what? I lied about the sequin leggings. I like them but they’d be stupid on me.

    enc – You’ve already lived through your Leather Era more than most of us.

    Sal – No problem, I will double-amp.

    Iheartfashion – annemarie does not know the meaning of failure.

    Patrick -Condolences on your present situation. How dare they control you motherfucking vocabulary??!

  20. ugh, those genie pants, they look like a cousin of the yoga pant. I totally hear the sequin leggings! And check out today where she calls out the Alchemist’s Apprentice for naming a lipstick for Palin, and part of the proceeds go to her campaign. UGGHHH, more gross than genie pants.

  21. mudmarine says:

    Patrick. Odd how we so soon run into each other again.

    But I’m only here to say that as a lurker who loved Goddammit I’m Mad… until she professed her vehement hatred of Sarah…. I’m so sad… as she has caused me to become torn, conflicted and divided. Such is life I suppose.

  22. Sister Wolf says:

    Juri – The PVC leggings on McCain might even distract those like me, who just read a bunch of stuff about his distinctly unheroic conduct as a POW.

    Fashionherald – I hope it’s pig-colored. I’m afraid to look!

    mudmarine – Are you stalking my stalker?!? Try to still love me. I think you can do it.

  23. mudmarine says:

    Haha… no, Sister Wolf. Entirely a coincidence. I haven’t before met Patrick except for an instance the other night in some comments.

    All right, I will work on continuing my love… but it will be difficult, as you do test me.

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