Sarah Palin Diary

Dear Diary,

I am so doggone mad that the US government is so stuck in its Washington ways and so not truly in touch with the great people of this great nation. It has seen fit to declare the beluga whale an endangered species, even though Todd and me tried to block this very dangerous decision. It just makes me so mad! It’s like here I am the Governor of the great state of Alaska, but these elitist conservationists think they know more than me.

Doncha hate it when you’re just tryin’ to help this great country of ours to Drill baby drill, but they get some liberal elitist scientists to go all ‘declining population’ when we already told ’em the whales are fine.

I hafta say that I like it when me and Todd are tryin to make babies, and he’ll sorta whisper “Drill baby drill” and it makes me feel almost as good as when I’m speakin’ at a big ol’ rally about some of the changes I’m gonna be makin over there in Washington if I am so blessed.

I told Todd, I said Todd, if the lord wants to bless us with another special baby it will be my privilege to just put that thing in a basket under my desk at the White House and let Piper keep it quiet while I am makin’ those important decisions to get this great nation back on the right track.

Speakin’ of Track, if that boy asks me for drug money one more time, I swear I’m gonna have his ass deployed to Afghanistan. I love my boy dearly but like I remind him, there are plenty more where he came from, so don’t do anything to screw up my chances. Between him and Bristol I can see where a woman might want to go ahead and use birth control. LOL, just kiddin’ of course.

Well, time for my hot cocoa and my phone-call to John, who is drivin’ me nuts with his crap about POW this and POW that. Poor Cindy, right? On November 5 I can tell John to just shove it and kiss my ass. Once I’m elected, that old bastard will learn who’s boss.

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13 Responses to Sarah Palin Diary

  1. Honeypants says:

    I read that she’s supposed to be on SNL tonight. I can’t even imagine how wonderful/horrible that’s going to be. I can’t wait!

    And thanks for the insight into her private thoughts!

  2. Honeypants says:

    Wow, Tina must have been SO nervous and freaked out to have to do her imitation in front of her! And Alec, what balls! I guess SP’s a good sport for going on and letting them make fun of her like that. She’s probably planning to makes sure they never work again, if she’s so privileged to serve in Washington.

  3. enc says:

    It’s so scary to imagine the scenario where something happened to McCain and she became President by default. The horror.

  4. Sister Wolf says:

    Honeypants, enc – If only I had the integrity to refuse to watch it. At least she looked scary and full of shit!

  5. Juri says:

    Doggonit, what those Washington elite, who are in Washington, don’t understand is that you can’t blink with those dangerous mammals, beluga whales. Protect them, and the next thing you know, guys and gals, is that Putin and Russians will attack the great state of Alaska dressed as beluga whales, because they hate America, and we cannot shoot them, those whales, that are mammals, if we protect them, and cannot kill them. Beluga even sounds like a Russian word. Now who is the real Beluga? I think it’s a fair question to ask and the American people have a right to know.

    I betcha those muslim communists are busy preparing their beluga suits even now as we speak.

  6. susie_bubble says:

    She is just one big car crash that you can’t help but look at and wince…

  7. Sister Wolf says:

    Honeypants – Please let’s not think of her as a good sport. Let’s call it a calculated move by a fucking cunt!

    enc – Yes, beyond imagining.

    Juri – Hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Hahaahaha!

    Susie – Yes, there is a ghoulish fascination aspect to her. Along with regular fear and loathing.

  8. The NYTimes has a front page article about McCain’s health that will make you even more scared!

  9. Sister Wolf says:

    Iheartfashion – Don’t worry, I read it, I’m plenty scared. And you noticed how Mrs. P REFUSED to turn over her medical records….could it be because Trig isn’t her baby, do you suppose?

  10. Julie says:

    You’ve managed to make me laugh about the whole situation. That is really saying something…

    I watched SNL and I’m calling Mrs. Palin out for not actually performing the “rap” during the news skit. What a loser. That would, at least, have made me respect the giant cojones it would take to do that.

  11. hammie says:

    The likeness was truly amazing. But is SNL always so scriptey and stagey?
    Like “here comes the joke……….. are you ready? ”


  12. Honeypants says:

    Ok, you’re right. My nasty cold and deleriating medications made me fall into their trap! No! Not a good sport! Calculated move! But what it all boils down to is the fact that in less than a month’s time, she’ll go back to being governor of Alaska for the rest of her term, and then never again heard from politically. She’ll just be The Hockey Mom Who Was Almost Vice President. And the youtube clips of her brief time in the spotlight will live on in Grandson Trig’s scrapbook forever.

  13. I can’t imagine another reason a healthy 44-year old woman wouldn’t turn over her medical records, except that the baby is Bristol’s. Secret abortion, maybe?

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