Sarah’s Special Needs

I’ve listened to   Mrs. P at two separate campaign rallies, yesterday and today, answering questions about how she intends to keep her promise of being a friend to moms with special needs kids. Each time, she said that she would “make it a priority” in the schools. She would pay for this not by raising spending, but by “prioritizing.”

Somehow, I’m not convinced that she has a plan. I did read that she has a full-time babysitter for Trig on her payroll. Bless her heart!

I have also been so privileged as to read about Track Palin’s mysterious trip to Michigan to finish high school.   It’s because he and 3 other boys were arrested in 1985 for vandalizing some school buses while they were drunk. Believe me, I have spent hours reading about this and there is no doubt in my mind that this is why he enlisted in the armed forces instead of pursuing his ambition to be a professional hockey player.   It’s actually a pretty fascinating cover up.

Frankly, I am sick to death of Mrs. Palin but I am duty bound to hunt her down like the wolves she likes to shoot from helicopters.   By tomorrow, we’ll hear some kind of verdict in Troopergate, but I already know that nothing will stop this crazy bitch, nothing.   Read this and then drink yourself to sleep.

Meanwhile, I have been honored with a request from K-line to list six of my quirks. I’m not sure if these are quirks but here you go:

1. I still sleep with a blankie only it’s a shirt, named Shirty.
2. I scream when I rub my eyes, involuntarily. The Eye-Rubbing Scream still alarms my husband.
3. I’m afraid to drive on freeways.
4. I like to plan and carry out elaborate vendettas.
5. I love to dance to disco music.
6. I cross myself when I hear something dreadful, even though I’m an atheist Jew.

Now I’m supposed to tag a bunch of people and some other stuff but I’m too tired and need to go watch Nancy Grace.

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22 Responses to Sarah’s Special Needs

  1. Skye says:

    Oh, shirty! Do americans say someone is “shirty” when they’re angry? As in “He got quite shirty when he found out that his professional hockey career was over before it began.”? Because we do here in Australlia, and that makes Shirty the perfect name for your blanky!

  2. Imelda Matt says:

    Oh Jesus! I just lost in that thread…has this been picked up by any other media outlet?

  3. Keep at 4 & 6 it will get results!

  4. Juri says:

    #4 is definitely a keeper!

    I read the Guardian piece but, sadly, it’s still too early for me to drink Juri Eighteen-pack to sleep, even though I have a day off followed by a week off. I’ll probably deal with that at the same time I celebrate Funland’s ex-president’s Nobel peace prize by singing our national anthem on the balcony for my multi-national neighbours’ great delight and entertainment.

    Besides, today’s CNN clip of Grandpa being lashed out by his panicky supporters at some “dirty talk townhall orgy” is too amusing to miss. Aren’t they the cutest bunch of puppies you’ve seen in a long time? I’ve seen the clip three times so far and can hardly wait for the fourth. The chubby red-faced guy ranting about his being mad because “socialists are taking over” and about a need for a collective head-check among Grandpa supporters if they allow Obama to win is my favourite. I also like the other guy wondering aloud how Obama has “gotten as far as he has in the first place”. The “uppity negro” and his “socialist” terrorist pals surely have gotten these people upset and horrified.

    I have never seen Grandpa look so uncomfortable as he does in front of the crowd that basically demands more smear and slander instead of issues. The problem is he only has that idiotic Ayers card and Obama’s middle name to flog during the next four weeks, and he knows that’s not enough to swing anyone with half a brain. He’ll do it anyway because that’s all he’s got. He knows he’ll end up looking like the fool that he is but he’ll do it.

    Also, his hands look terribly short. Maybe that’s because of the torture but he should not wave them too much and he definitely shouldn’t be making those pointing-at-whatever-it-is-he-is-pointing-at poses because the shortness of his hands makes it look like he’ll be never able to reach it. Presidency? Future? Whatever it is it’s beyond Grandpa’s reach.

    I betcha Shakespeare wishes he were alive to write a modern tragedy about Grandpa.

  5. enc says:

    I’d love to see #5 executed!

  6. No doubt Track was shipped off to atone for his bad behavior. Besides the drinking and bus vandalism incident, he’s a known OxyContin afficionado. It’s disgusting that McCain/Palin can successfully position themselves as the “family values” candidates! I’m filled with murderous rage, Sister Wolf.

  7. K-Line says:

    OK, your unspec quirks really are spec 🙂 The eye rubbing scream intrigues me no end. I mean, how does that work exactly? And the crossing is fascinating. Did you go to a school with extreme Christian values, by any chance? A friend of mine from HS is Jewish (but not religious) and our HS was private (but with a slightly Christian bent). She just sat out the Jesus-y stuff. Then she went to an Ivy League college (rich parents!) to take a degree in comparitive religion. And her parents got really shirty (see Skye, we do say this!) accused her of reading Christianity and demanded she take something else. I thought that was something, given that they’d had no prob with it in HS…

    That was a really long-winded way of saying that lots of nice athiest Jews can be influenced by (wacky) Christian teaching in school.

  8. gea says:

    oh dear, is it too late to join pap-smear? i’ve been sick or i would have enquired earlier! i think, being a bitter vengeful sort, that i would make a good addition to the team. and seriously, i can’t even look at a picture of the bitch without retching…

  9. Susan says:

    Oh, girl, I LOVE that you can be both snarky AND vulnerable. I like you even more now. =)

  10. hammiesays says:

    I can drive like a demon on freeways, when I get my book deal I will come over and teach you. We might scare people though as I drive on the left usually. I am a proddie agnostic, but I use Yiddish slang from working in the ragtrade. Perhaps we were swapped at birth?

  11. Sister Wolf says:

    Skye – I love my Shirty more than anything.

    Imelda Matt – YES but no one seems to make a big deal about it. I guess the ‘kids’ are supposed to be off limits as a topic, but the fact that she can’t control her own children seems salient to me!

    Make do – Haha, let us hope.

    Juri- You need to be a guest author here. I feel I can’t hold a candle to your prose or imagination.

    enc – Whenever you’re free, my dear! Donna Summer is a favorite.

    Iheartfashion – Murderous rage is my constant companion.

    K-Line – The scream works like when you sneeze, your eyes close…it’s just automatic. I can’t help it!

    Gea – Never too late! Annemarie will hook you up with something, possibly shoe-related?

    Susan – Keep liking me please, it’s an honor and you know I mean it!

    Hammie -You mean after they performed the operation that separated us??

  12. Bex says:

    Read the article. Now my non-drinking ass wants a drink!!!

  13. OMGGMAB says:

    Okay, totally off subject, but I’m still on the “Who’s Trig’s mommy?” deal. Can’t we get that Palin bitch with the verified info that the kid is either Bristol’s or she bought him somewhere? My goddess, if I have to listen to her say one more time that Ayers was Obama’s good friend I’m going to vomit all over the world! PLEASE LET’S TAKE THIS BITCH DOWN!!! Is there not one fuckin’ Alaskan that lives near those goddam Palins that can give us some REAL information?? COME FREAKIN ON!!

    Okay, I’ll let the wine kick in now and perhaps calm down OR INCITE A RIOT!!

  14. Sister Wolf says:

    SHE’S GUILTY! YES YES YES YES!! Not that this will stop her, but still a reason to feel good.

  15. Sarah P. says:

    FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was worried when she declared herself that innocent that somehow our efforts would all be for not. I realize the legislature finding her guilty means little but it does make me feel a little warm and fuzzy if only for one night!

  16. Juri says:

    Sister Wolf – I fell asleep with CNN on and I just woke up to the voice of Larry King telling me she’s guilty!!!! I haven’t woken up this happy since some forgotten childhood Christmases. Ho ho ho…Obama MUST throw that bitch to Grandpa’s face and ask him what kind of a “country first” person picks such an unethical idiot as his running mate. Obama must dare to call her an unqualified idiot.

  17. annemarie says:


    Shit though, maybe we’ll miss her when she’s gone. And what is Tina Fey going to do without her?

  18. Sister Wolf says:

    We will have to see how this plays out….don’t misunderestimate these fuckers. Think Rove, think Cheney.

    But let’s be happy for tonight! Everybody, go shopping, get high, have anal sex, and feel the love!!!

  19. Sarah P. says:

    Oh im feeling the love tonight! Annemarie I think we all know she will never ever really be gone. She will haunt us for the rest of our days no matter what happens to her. Our only hope is that she will be caged and tormented by wounded wolves. Im sure Tina Fey can work with that.

  20. Sister Wolf says:

    Sarah P, I know I could work with that!

  21. Sarah P. says:

    Im with Iheartfashion. I am so not above condoning violence. I am simply filled with such intense murderous rage. Its with me when Im sleeping, when im awake. Its worse than Santa. Holy Fuck when will this all go away?! Good news! My mother recently moved to Alaska and I seem to have one sane cousin up there that doesnt heart the broad. I have high hopes to convince one of them to infiltrate the Paliniacs!

    Um yeah i will never stop caring about the fact that Trig is sooooo not the spawn of the Original Cuntface. That baby is soooo Bristols. Or maybe they swapped Bristols first baby for a special needs child. I dont want to believe that but it certainly might be gospel.

    On the subject of not believing maternity issues…I also find it curious that those Palin teenagers both have such huge racks. I just don’t see how those girls got those tits from mama Palin.

  22. ambika says:

    Forwarding the bit about Track to my boyfriend. For all of his hatred of her, I don’t think he knows about that one.

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