Speaking in Tongues

speaking-in-tongues-floor

I used to think I had a fairly good command of the English language, but lately I am puzzled by words I thought I knew.

I don’t get the word “um” in its current usage.   Read the following sentence to see what I mean:

Um excuse me, are these not the most ridiculous sunglasses you’ve ever seen?

I am quoting a nice girl named Karla whose blog is very popular. Her readers seem to speak her language. I know she’s saying, “These sunglasses are awesome,” but what’s with the “um?”

Does “um” at the beginning of a sentence mean “wow?” This is a genuine question! Whatever it means in this context, I want it to stop.

If this were a movie instead of a blog, I’d cut to a fantasy sequence.

two-hideous-furs-together-2

“Karla? It’s me, I’m at Bloomingdale’s trying on fur crap. Want to hang out?”

karla-and-me

“Hi, honey. I’ll be home late tonight. Karla is taking me to this insane gym to help me build up my legs. Bye!”

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32 Responses to Speaking in Tongues

  1. WTF (What The Fashion) says:

    LOL! um… YEAH!

    bwahahahaha I just went to her blog right now and unfortunately this girl forgot the alphabetical order from going u – m so in verdict let’s put a “word” together.

    UM… LIKE LIKE LIKE… OMG 😉

  2. Um guilty as charged but I always use it or Mm (could this be a more heinous crime!) – I consider its usage to be a quasi school marm inflection. Now I know it means I’m a skanky try hard I must desist!

    Brilliant that you’ve become hanging out buddies so swiftly!

  3. arline says:

    UM.. RIDICULOUS!

  4. annemarie says:

    hahahahahahahahahaha!

  5. omggmab says:

    Hideous palinspeak. um yeah, writing like this needs to meet a death panel.

  6. deja pseu says:

    You crack me up. Um, love your Fashion Bloggerâ„¢ pose.

  7. Jill says:

    I’m at a loss for words…real words.

  8. WendyB says:

    Um…Oh Em Gee! This is hilarious.

  9. andrea says:

    Um, you are KILLING it!!!!

  10. minzhi says:

    Um Sister Wolf, don’t you know that we love to ‘um’ because it is so Paris Hilton? I mean, um, Paris is just fantastic. I wanna be her as much as I wanna be the Olsen twins.. They rock.

  11. TVC15 says:

    … and as long as we’re on the subject – so this Karla – she just walks about w/ a tri-pod taking pigeon-toed pictures of herself (and her legs), yes? it’s ridiculous, no? who’s listening to her & why??? (inquiring, but bored minds wanna know)

  12. jennine says:

    i didn’t realize there were words on her blog. seriously, i went to go see what you were saying and got distracted by all the photos, now i’m too lazy to go back and check again.

  13. Aja says:

    I love your photoshop skillz.

  14. OneOfThePlebs says:

    Um the last photo that Karla posted of herself seems to show a close up of her crotch. So perhaps she’s taking a break from the pigeon-toed posing. OMG so um like totally hawt!

  15. Bex says:

    Um, she actually typed “Um” in her posts??? Like, weird!!!!

  16. You’re killing it in the fur Sister!

  17. crocodilian says:

    Um excuse me, I thought you might like these:

    http://www.revolveclothing.com/DisplayProduct.jsp?product=CLU-WP14&c=Aug+23&n=n

    I call them… the Oops-I-Pooped-My-Diaper Pants!

  18. ali says:

    this is for you:
    http://www.net-a-porter.com/product/45416

    cat food and pea soup go well with red lipstick.

  19. ali says:

    I think you should just let your readers dress you from now on.

  20. WendyB says:

    I had to come back here and ask you to photoshop yourself into more photos. That made my day.

  21. Stella Mayfair says:

    this gave me a … you guess it – a blowjob (TM).
    seriously, please do more photo ops like this one. i’d like to suggest a fuzzy fur clad sister curating (ha!) a series of “roomy in stripper shoes pidgeon-toeing it on a beach” pics.

  22. Juri says:

    um zomg like total pwnage! Better be careful with the leg building, though. I’m not sure you want to get her knees or something!

  23. David Duff says:

    Sorry I’m late to this discussion on English grammar but the correct usage is ‘er’ not ‘um’. Honestly, you Americans, you can’t even grunt properly!

  24. Jill says:

    David Duff…you are one funny bloke!

  25. David Duff says:

    Er, thanks, Jill!

  26. Umm, now striking “umm” from my blogger vocab. Damn, pretty soon I’ll have no fillers!
    And please more photoshop fantasy segments. “I’m at Bloomingdale’s trying on fur crap.” Hahaha!

  27. skye says:

    I do use “hmmmmm”, is that as bad as um?

    I have to think this post was just for me, since Karla from the Kloset and I are like totally bff.

  28. TVC15 says:

    in addition to her pics of a pigeon-persuasion, mz. K seems to favour a pose that i like to call, “Bloodtest”… fascinating!!

  29. Constance says:

    Um, now that we are at it, I always wondered, what’s with the pigeon-toe posing, that now it seems to come standard with everything.

  30. Sister Wolf says:

    WTF – Excuse me, I’m all lol OMFG.

    Make Do- Mm is different, go right on with Mm.

    arline – Right?

    annemarie – Hahahahaha!

    OMGGMAB – SOCIALIST!

    deja pseu – and yet I forgot to touch my face.

    Jill – It has that effect.

    WendyB – Um I think you’re right.

    andrea – Seriously.

    minzhi – Excuse me, they so rock.

    TVC15 – Is it a tripod?? That is heartbreaking.

    Jennine – But you’re missing all the wisdom!!!

    Aja – ah, it was my webmaster. My idea though!

    OneOfthePlebs – Where are the parents??

    Bex – You’ve got to catch up on the Um thing, it’s everywhere.

    Iheartfashion – I killed it even though it was already so dead!

    ali – I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or not. Um.

    WendyB – That is my plan.

    Stella Mayfair – Sounds great, blow job here, too.

    Juri – My sister-in-iron pointed out the resemblance to Honeybunch Kaminski

    David – Tell those girls, not me!

    Jill – He is. And he’s sexy in long johns, too.

    fashion herald – Hahahahahha!

    Skye – hmmmm is like music to my ears, compared to Um.

    TVC15 – Bloodtest? I’m going back to look. Damn you.

    Constance – I’d like a moratorium on the pidgeon-toe stance, if possible.

  31. skye says:

    TVC15 – yes, “the blood test”! I almost did it once just to see if it made me magically look thinner or something, but I caught myself in time.

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