Stalked By A Gigantic Ass

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I can’t stand it. There is no escape. It’s everywhere and it keeps coming after me. I hate it.

I need it to go away. The blank face, too.

Why has it come to this?



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15 Responses to Stalked By A Gigantic Ass

  1. Kellie says:

    Her former bff Paris Hilton described it as looking like “a garbage bag filled with cottage cheese”.
    I feel that may have been true. Then it got “firmed up” with filler.
    And now it has taken on a life of its own. Suffocating in bad clothing.
    It seems like people are fascinated that an ass can exist in its odd form.

  2. Bevitron says:

    It’s horrible, this mindless runaway ass terrorizing the countryside, threatening the planet. Nobody’s safe. Run for your life! Or somebody make a colossal Whoopie Cushion, that could be fun.

  3. Richard says:

    It’s the attack of the relentless media whore.

  4. Andra says:

    Look away! Look away!

  5. Dana says:

    She’s just a fat chick who doesn’t know it.

  6. eekahil says:

    And yet, somehow, Coco Ice-T doesn’t offend me as much.
    Why? WHY?!
    Jeez- she has so many tangents it’s hard to choose the “best” example.

  7. Dj says:

    I also don’t mind mrs. T….but if you put Kim k in a plain, long black shmatta, took off the makeup, eyelashes etc., she would look like a backwoods village girl in Armenia…fat asses are just that…why why why……

  8. David Duff says:

    If she’s that awful just send her to me!

    No, really, I’m generous like that and always eager to improve Anglo-American relationships.

    Also, my famous – well, it’s famous around here – ‘laying on of hands’ treatment might well sooth away those curves you all find so distressing.

    No, no need to thank me . . .

  9. David Duff says:

    Er, who is she, by the way, I forgot to ask?

  10. Eek says:

    I am so proud of myself for somehow avoiding the Kardashians in popular culture, but that ass is everywhere.

  11. Debbie says:

    Every time, and I mean EVERY TIME I look at that thing I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW FUCKEN BIG IT IS. It’s like a horse’s ass … or a donkey’s …. and it’s ALIVE.

  12. David Duff says:

    I say, steady on, Debbie, you are in danger of sounding, er, ‘arse-ist’!

  13. Odile Lee says:

    WHERE was this trend when my ass was GIGANTIC?
    But seriously, I hate to be a skinny bitch but her ass is so big – when I see her I say to myself, WOW. Its kinda cool that huge bums are ok, but seriously how fucking big is her ass anyhow?
    Not fit in plane seat big?
    “An enormous sense of value” big?
    Does it just look big?

  14. Lacey says:

    The blank face lets all of us know how bored she is with us.

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