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Tag Archives: butts
Butt Masks: Please Kill Me Already
When I saw an ad on Sephora online for a “Booty Mask“, I was excited by discovering a new avenue of ridicule. Haha, I thought, how absurd, a beauty mask JUST FOR YOUR BUTT! I’m still amazed by the aisles … Continue reading
Met Gala 2015 Exegesis
Let’s start with my favorite look just to get it out of the way: Rihanna. She is a fucking goddess. Rihanna is proving to be the best source of daring, original fashion that the pop world has ever seen. She … Continue reading
The Ass Age
We have entered The Ass Age, and The Apocalypse is sure to follow. I would like it to hurry up. I’m not certain about the beginning of The Ass Age. Jennifer Lopez was the precursor many years ago but no … Continue reading
Stalked By A Gigantic Ass
I can’t stand it. There is no escape. It’s everywhere and it keeps coming after me. I hate it. I need it to go away. The blank face, too. Why has it come to this? Explain.
My Favorite Iggy
I don’t like Iggy Pop, even though I’m aware of his importance to punk music. Doesn’t he sing the Passenger song? Whatever. He needs to put his shirt on but seems committed to showing off his stringy malnourished … Continue reading
My New Name
I was thrilled to receive this email today, and considered it a lucky omen of some kind to be called “Lard-Desha.” Isn’t it wonderful? I’m hoping it’s not some derivation of “Lard Ass,” which would confirm my worst fears about … Continue reading
Dr. Sadie May Not Kiss My Ass
When I recieved the offer of a review copy of “Tickle My Tush” by ‘sex educator’ Dr. Sadie Allison, I complained on facebook. I was egged on to pursue this, so I stupidly clicked on the link I was given. … Continue reading
As if.
These metallic pants would look great with ________________. Sass & Bide, $561 at shopbop.
Trade in Your Old Butt
Reading an article about the rise in Ethnic Rhinoplasty, I clicked on a doctor’s name and Voila! His gallery of Buttock Augmentation before-and-after pictures is astounding! Who even thinks of getting their butt augmented? It seems like it would be … Continue reading
Are You More Than Your Ass?
Just when you forget to worry about the size of your butt, photos of famous butts rise up to remind you. Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell are both enjoying their holiday in Thailand, but only one of them has a … Continue reading