Trade in Your Old Butt

Reading an article about the rise in Ethnic Rhinoplasty, I clicked on a doctor’s name and Voila! His gallery of Buttock Augmentation before-and-after pictures is astounding!

Who even thinks of getting their butt augmented? It seems like it would be way down the list of an averagely vain person. But maybe that’ s just me. Maybe it will take the place of breast implants as the surgery of choice for insecure women.

Looking at these butts, I can’t help being amazed by the time and money and suffering invested in them. The pursuit of a round protruding ass seems nuts, but like much that is strange and offensive it does provide some compelling imagery. I’m going back to look at the Mommy Makeovers when I’m through with the butts.

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39 Responses to Trade in Your Old Butt

  1. Well at least you’d be able to crack open nuts at Christmas with those loaded cheeks – party tricks fun for all.

  2. sarah.p says:

    suddenly my immense ass seems like something to be proud of.

  3. Faux Fuchsia says:

    What’s a Mommy Make Over?

  4. Maja says:

    Urgh, mommy makeovers. Booblift + tummy tuck, am I right?

  5. Pudfish says:

    This is hilarious, as the owner of a flappy bottom and a non-existent chest I have in the past mused about transplanting some of the former to the latter, but now I am older I like having something to sit on and at least there is no chance my micro tits will ever hit my knees! Hi to Faux Fuchsia by the way, i found her blog via your blog Sister Wolf – FF when I comment on your blog I am Blighty – i am anon. on your blog..

  6. Pudfish says:

    Sweet Jesus, i have just checked out the Buttock gallery, blimey!

  7. arline says:

    Again, I am speechless.

  8. Braindance says:

    wow, so much money, so little brain to dance with

    I, like most people on the planet do no fit into the generic ideal of what is beautiful, rather than stick plastic in my ass (that sentence just instantly made me think of the TRUE story of the man who “accidently sat” on a barbie) I just eat more cake and read a book. Sitting down to read a book is a far better use for a bottom. flat or fat.
    Just watch out for Barbie, she’s a right pervert.

  9. Cricket9 says:

    It’s probably hard to sit on the butt from the first picture!

  10. Jenny Dunville says:

    Couldn’t I just eat my way to that Butt w/out spending a dime?

  11. How obnoxious. For years I’ve been trying to convince God to make my round, protruding butt disappear, and here these women are having someone tack one onto them!

    But hey…maybe someday I’ll have more money than I have sense, and I can get mine removed!

  12. Is it wrong that I kind of want the Mommy Makeover?

  13. Sheri says:

    1. I, personally, would never spend money on “fixing” my butt.

    2. After carefully scrutinizing (!) the before-and-after pictures, I’ve decided that my “too big” butt is possibly not “too big” after all, and quite possibly something to be striven* for.

    3. Following this revelation, I ate potato chips for breakfast.

    *someone please tell me this is actually a word

  14. patni says:

    what a waste of time and money. The way i deal with my big flat ass is to sit on it. I can’t see it in the mirror, so why should i care.
    I dont get boob jobs either.. i got giant ones in teh genetic lottery… never did a damn thing for me. Dudes stare… but they are never guys I would have interest in talking to. I like a modicum of manners in my men.

  15. Dru says:

    What does one do to deal with post-surgery pain after having this, er, ‘procedure’- spend the next few weeks lying on one’s back instead of sitting down when one wants to rest?

  16. MJ says:

    Wondering if Coco is the recipient of a butt job or if all that badonkadonk is natural?


  17. theresa says:

    last night i dreamed I wrote you a funny response and you wrote back with HAHAHAHAHA!

    the first time I’ve dreamed about the internet. I’ll probably blog about it.

    Butt augmentation seems excessive, the real money is probably in butt lifts.

  18. tish jett says:

    Hilarious. I can’t think of anything to say on the subject. On your writing about it however, absolutely hysterical.

  19. TheShoeGirl says:

    The after IS a lot better…

  20. WendyB says:

    I agree with TheShoeGirl. After is soooo much better. It’s nice to be all self-esteem-y and say “before” is beautiful because we are all God’s creatures or some bullshit like that, but I know pretty and “after” is pretty.

  21. erika says:

    Why not just work out ?? Squats should do something. Can you imagine the pain after this surgery ?? probably can’t sit for months.

  22. arline says:

    Walking lunges are great for the butt. They hurt a lot less I am quite sure.

  23. Sounds like a pain in the ass – can you sit down after surgery, or what?

  24. patni says:

    I wonder what they look like when you get older. You know the way boob implants sag like a tennis ball in a tube sock? What would a silicone butt implant look like drooping down your back?

  25. Cricket9 says:

    Maybe they improved the technology, but I’ve read something about butt implants years ago – apparently they had a tendency to burst under pressure when, how to put it – sat on.
    As for boobs implants – I had minimal boobs (saved $ on bras, as I didn’t need any), and around 40 spontaneously developed a D cup. I’m not making it up. You never know what your body will come up with…

  26. Sister Wolf says:

    theresa – HAHAHAHAHA!

  27. boops says:

    i think scented farts are the wave of the future

  28. Jules says:

    I need a mommy makeover. Or maybe just some time to exercise.

  29. Sister Wolf says:

    Make DO – AND we could bounce balls off them!

    sarah p – I’m proud of your ass and I’ve never even seen it.

    Faux Fuchsia – You can’t find out until you have kids. Look away, FF!

    Maja – SHHH!

    Pudfish – Blimey is right.

    arline – Hahahahahahahha!

    Braindance – You can’t trust her for a minute, I know.

    Cricket9 – Yep, that is one paltry butt.

    Jenny Dunville – When you find out how to direct the flesh straight to your butt, let me know.

    Raison Girl – Hang on to that butt, are you kidding?!

    Iheartfashion – No, but it’s wrong to actually get one.

    Sheri – I like striven. Lets use it!

    MJ – I say it’s 100% fake

    tish jett- I try to do justice to the subject matter, thank you!

    TheSHoeGIrl- They are fucking edible, practially, aren’t they??

    WendyB- I don’t like the word “pretty” for a butt. Could you make a change for me? It’s like when someone says “pretty lady.” UGH!

    erika – That would take YEARS of heavy duty squatting. My knees woud be gone by then.

    arline – Much less. Cheaper too but not as good results.

    boops – Duly noted.

    Jules – Or a nice sexy retro girdle? Exercise is so…..tiring.

  30. Cheraya says:

    bloody hell! I’ve spent a fair bit of my adult life trying to get a bigger arse through exercise etc, to no avail. Maybe I’ll look in having a prosthetic arse fitted!!!

  31. dexter vandango says:

    I’ve always wondered about women’s interest in men’s butts. Surely hoped for signs of thrusting efficiency can’t be the sole reason? Perhaps it is also motivated by the female’s subconscious urge to diaper?

  32. Cricket9 says:

    Oh no, never had ANY urge to diaper, bleh! It’s a purely esthetic interest, a nice butt, as demonstrated by the pictures above, just looks better. Just like men’s interest in boobs is not only about the potential of feeding from them – I hope!

  33. andrea says:

    MJ- Coco & Ice T used to live in my building (in NY) and she looks more than 100% fake. She would melt if she got too close to fire. I can’t imagine how sitting on them would feel. eewww!

  34. Hammie says:

    Hooray! For once in my life I look like the right side of a before and after picture! After years of trying to run away from my bum- I am finally in fashion!
    Does this make me rich now, since I was born with an asset that people are willing to pay for?

  35. Hammie says:

    Oh and MJ? Are white girls allowed to say badonkadonk?
    Because I really like that word!

  36. Oh my god, I clicked and am now horrified! And at first thought the afters were all the same ass.

  37. shit. . . . now i’ve gone and looked at ALL the images in this “Doctor’s” gallery. . .

  38. Sister Wolf says:

    Cheraya – I saw a nice ad for padded-booty underpants on TV at 3:a.m. the other night….but the quality did not impress.

    Dexter – Diapering is not bad but breastfeeding is the real joy.

    Cricket9 – Now I’m wanting to diaper!

    andrea – Oooooooooooh, good gossip.

    Hammie – Never, never run away from your bum!

    fashionherald – Same-same but different!

    Rack and Ruin – Me too. They’re like salted peanuts, aren’t they?

  39. Audi says:

    This isn’t as bad as what I’ve seen some poeple do to their faces. At least when your fake ass starts to sag, you can hide it under clothes!

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