The Floral Slouch Clog


$248 at Free People.

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47 Responses to The Floral Slouch Clog

  1. enna. says:

    Wow, I need those in my life.


  2. hammie says:

    What happens when you leave Maria from The Sound of Music alone in the therapeutic aids section of a pharmacy…….


  3. skye says:

    oh yes, those are hideous, and would be extra hideous once they were worn a couple of times and the fabric around the bottom got all grubby and dirty.

  4. Cheraya says:

    OMFG those are revolting.

    who the fuck buys these bloody awful shoes?

  5. kenju says:

    Only stupid people buy them. What I want to know is who is the dummy who designs them???

  6. Mary says:

    Now those really are quite terrible but I would love to see someone wearing them!

  7. I first thought this was some type of medical device. Wow.

  8. annemarie says:

    these must be the worst yet. i thought it couldn’t get worse than the converse/sandal….

  9. Dru says:

    ^what skye says, imagine the bottoms of these covered in city street grime, yuck.
    Again, this begs the question: what was the ‘designer’ of these ingesting?

  10. Dru says:

    Also, I salute the brave person who came up with the name ‘Floral Slouch Clog’ for this- though not if the designer was the one who named it..

  11. andrea says:

    I saw this and instantly thought of you! (before you posted this). All I can say is I second the ha ha has! What is the point of these??

  12. Sheri says:

    I wouldn’t have thought that one could come up with something this hideous. Is it a joke?

  13. Cricket9 says:

    I’d too would like to know who designed this masterpiece. Why don’t we just wrap our feet in a piece of an old quilt, pillow case or some such?

  14. Mark says:

    The Olsen twins? That Zoe woman who looks like a scarecrow? Who would wear these? And where would one wear these? To a party in a room of wall-to-wall white carpeting? I can’t begin to imagine the filth that would accumulate on these monsters.

    Stop it.

    Eagerly awaiting the Cunt of the Week, hoping it’s Liz Cheney.

  15. Eliza says:

    Did any of you follow the link to read its single review?

    “Ladies let me tell you guys love shoes like these. I’m a guy and WISH my girlfriend would wear these. The height of the clog with the slouch of a boot is very, very chic. And NO these would not be better in flats. Guys like heels. Keep the flats for around the house. Pair it with a cute skirt.”

    Fucking hipster douchebag men…

  16. Iron Chic says:

    I’m trying to look at these with an open mind…no! Fuck it. No.
    They suck all over – especially in the price category.

  17. Dru says:

    They’re by Irregular Choice?! Oh horrors- I actually liked the few pairs of shoes I’d seen by that brand, might have to revise my opinion a bit now…

  18. Vee says:

    Eliza, that hipster douchebag quoted (if he even actually exists, because I don’t know any man with a girlfriend who would write “Pair it with a cute skirt”) probably has a My Little Pony fetish, because those godawful things would turn anyone’s feet into those of a flowered Clydesdale.

  19. Jill says:

    No words…except for those two… I mean those 8…+4

  20. Coming to a street style photographer near you…

  21. Mark says:


    LOL re: My Little Pony.

    I thought the same thing about the hipster douchebag. I think by ‘girlfriend,’ he meant his drag queen buddy.

  22. Mark says:

    Iron Chic- You are hilarious. Thanks for the link.

  23. rebecca says:

    Actually I totally love them and want them. Luckily for me most of the clothes/ shoes I like end up on sale because for some reason nobody else likes them :).

  24. Alicia says:

    Those are gross.

  25. Ann says:

    They’d do a terrific job of hiding one’s cankles, that’s for certain.

  26. Eliza says:

    Ann, wouldn’t they give you cankles (or hooves as Vee suggests)?

    I agree with the hipster douchebag that these would not look any better as flats. Nope. Leave up your wallpaper.

  27. TheShoeGirl says:

    Well… You may hate these as well but those look suspiciously like an ugly version of some boots I designed for Harajuku Lovers last year…

    Hmmm. Fishy.

  28. Bevitron says:

    Looks like a cat designed those, so it could scratch all the way around a chair, even with somebody sitting in it.

  29. kate says:

    There’s something of a gentle sexual torture vibe to these!
    Distinctly D&D Barbie.
    Or Little House on the Scary!
    Laura Ingalls (Girls Gone)Wilder ….and broke her ankle at Hyde Club.
    Laura Ashley goes Floral Casting Trashy Ghastly.
    Heidi says: at least hide yr toes!
    Ann of Green Gables does shabby chic bondage via Yippe n Eurotrash labels.

    *cue Jessica Simpson “braying” (love that word…did you know it comes from the Celtic root for breaking wind?)*

  30. Andra says:

    Now you’re being silly.
    Enough already with the stupid shoes!

  31. Suebob says:

    Someone who hates life made these.

  32. Am having a bad-shoe day chez moi and have linked these monstrosities.

  33. Chelsea says:

    Iron Chic – I just died laughing.

    SW – How avant-garde! I think they would look stunning with Hanna Bernhard shoe pins and some thrifted lace knee high socks! I will have to obtain a pair for my collection. …well, as long as I can’t steal a pair from my mom’s store first.

  34. E says:

    Can we nominate whoever designed those to be Cunt of the Week?

  35. Faux Fuchsia says:

    I have a terrible fever but I can tell these shoes are Horrible Beyond Measure.

    And not Visionary.

  36. MJ says:

    Kate and I must be on the same wavelength – when I saw these I thought “stripper in bondage boots flees burning trailer through window, trailing Auntie Em’s floral curtains.”

  37. Dru says:

    Wonder if hipster douchebag description-writing boy would love those shoes so much if his imaginary tranny friend/imaginary girlfriend kicked him hard with them on- those heels could probably do some damage, think about it!

  38. Sil says:

    Now I know who stole grandma´s curtains. Bad joke, my grandma has much better taste for curtains, being 87. Sorry, yaya.
    About that boy loving the shoes… ok, wear them yourself. And if you´re so much in love with that crap, let me know to describe through what hole you can introduce them, with or without vaseline, your choice.
    Have a nice day u all.

  39. Pudfish says:

    Good grief! I love Hammie’s comment about Maria from Sound of Music, that is exactly what these look like, well said Hammie!

  40. aimee-WTF says:

    Somewhere, someone’s discarded couch bleeds in a side alley.

  41. Janexjones says:

    I know i’m tagging onto this a little late,

    firstly, WHY THE HECK were these aloud to be released upon the world?!?!

    Maybe its a little shoe project of the budding* (*horrific) artist Sea and Karl or something….. along with all the hideous other things she wears i wouldn’t put it past the little spoilt tart… but then again the price range is a little kmart for her i suppose…

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