The Lena Dunham Problem, Solved

lena dunham

If you’ve always felt uneasy about disliking Lena Dunham, today she has given you license to go ahead and find her repugnant.

You don’t have to struggle with your looks-ism or whatever else was holding you back.

She’s an annoying self-obsessed idiot. She’s not gonna guilt-trip me into giving her a pass.

I can’t stand her. (Say it along with me if you want.)

Her newsletter Lenny is a primer on everything bad about millennial feminism, and her writing in Lenny is an excruciating mix of baby talk and pseudo-academic gibberish.

Be that as it may, today she published a chatty interview with one of her many best BFF’s, Amy Schumer.  I won’t speak ill of Amy Schumer, because duh, we lover her.

They are discussing their mutual disappointment with the Met Gala, where they sat at the same table and felt out of place, being too hip for the room etc. :

AS: I left so early. When did you leave?

LD: I attempted to grind my ass on Michael B. Jordan for an additional twenty minutes and then left right after you.

I was sitting next to Odell Beckham Jr., and it was so amazing because it was like he looked at me and he determined I was not the shape of a woman by his standards. He was like, “That’s a marshmallow. That’s a child. That’s a dog.” It wasn’t mean — he just seemed confused.

The vibe was very much like, “Do I want to fuck it? Is it wearing a … yep, it’s wearing a tuxedo. I’m going to go back to my cell phone.” It was like we were forced to be together, and he literally was scrolling Instagram rather than have to look at a woman in a bow tie. I was like, “This should be called the Metropolitan Museum of Getting Rejected by Athletes.”

I don’t know who Michael B. Jordan or Odell Beckham Jr are, but they have my support and sympathy.

I gather that they are black, and that they have broken some law by not wanting to hook up with Lena Dunham.

On the one hand, she doesn’t want women to be objectified but on the other hand, she’s mad if they’re not. Men are objects so that’s fine.

On the one hand, she like to show up at red carpet events looking as aggressively unattractive as humanly possible – horrible dresses that wouldn’t look good on Miss Universe, barrettes in her hair like a 6  year old – but on the other hand, you’re a fucker if you’re not smitten.

I know it’s overkill but let me cite this exchange for emphasis:

LD: The other thing that I get really crazy about is this new world in which women aren’t just supposed to be protected from actions, they’re supposed to be protected from language. Women are so strong. My ovary has basically exploded in my stomach twice, and I was pretty chill about it. You think I can’t listen to some short comedy loser say something dumb about rape?

AS: Right.

LD: I’m not going to cry, I’m a fucking queen.

NO YOU AREN’T!

Shut up already and leave everybody alone! You’re just not helping.

Thoughts?

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14 Responses to The Lena Dunham Problem, Solved

  1. JK says:

    Ummm. Dee-Less-Is-Eyo would be how I’d describe her.

    Something along the lines of a cross-eyed Sigourney Weaver and a Kanye Kardashian.

    What’s not to like?

  2. Romeo says:

    I dunno, if I’d made some kind of acclaimed and popular thing at her age I’d be a douchebag like her instead of whatever kind of unsuccessful douchebag I turned out to be.

    So I can sympathize but I still don’t like her.

  3. Dj says:

    I can’t stand her! Both of them actually. Where did LD come from? I watched Girls maybe twice and all I could think of was how unattractive lD is on many levels. Why is she such a voice for feminism? Why is she such a big shot? when I lived in New York on pennies in the 80s I still managed to look chic (I think!) even if I shopped sales at Bendels and Orhbachs and handed out sales fliers on seventh ave. in between writing jobs. I attended several of the met galas before they became celebrity fashion slugfests, flirted, had fun and stared at all the transvestites who were seven feet tell. LD and AS are totally out of place there, they can’t hold their own unless they are the center of the spotlight. Sorry, I can’t even look at those two. They are too predictable….

  4. Tom I. says:

    My only comment is that I tried to watch her TV show “Girls” once, emphasis on the word “tried,” as I only lasted 10 minutes as it was such tripe.

  5. betty says:

    Yes, she’s a fucking self-obsessed idiot (oh, I think you already said that — then I agree.) Someone on my street was getting rid of their old books a while back, and I saw one there by her. I’m guessing it’s her only book?? Anyway, not having ever seen her big show but seeing her splashed across the Internet, I picked it up to see what the big deal was. God, what garbage. Nothing to say, not great writing either. Can she please move on?

  6. Miranda Mitsouko says:

    Ohhhhhh! I CANNOT STAND HER. You nailed it. Disgusting.

  7. Muscato says:

    Put me in with those who don’t like either. An argument can be made that I’ve not seen enough to really opine – but since every single exposure I’ve had, no matter how minor, has been repugnant, I’m going with, at best, just Not My Cup of Tea.

    They’re both those girls you meet when you’re new in high school, who seem cool because they, too, are on the outs with the Cool Crowd, but then turn out to be just as evil as the Mean Girls as soon as they zoom in how to push just the right button.

  8. sarah says:

    I don’t know, I don’t need a role model or spokesperson for feminism, let alone her …I’d rather use common sense and reinforce some positive ideas to the people around as to why it’s good for both genders in the long and short run if we all agree women should enjoy the same rights as men …
    I don’t care about her looks either, I won’t criticise anything …it;s her personality that’s awful

  9. At age 57, I’m too old to care anymore about twenty-something angst. Been there, done that, etc. It’s not interesting to me anymore because there’s nothing I can learn from it except maybe it’s a chance to practise a compassionate perspective toward youth and their silly foibles, which I surely had once upon a time. What I do admire is Dunham’s willingness to put her naked far-from-perfect body out there for all to see. My generation is still hiding our so-called imperfections and trying to look like models and youths. We say we know better but far too many of us don’t act like we do as we trot off for botox and facelifts and so on. And let our fat rolls hang out? Never!

  10. Suspended says:

    Beastly. All that faux-intellectual-introspective-existential-can’t-fart-without-turning-it-into-a-think-piece garbage she spouts makes me feel even more ill than when I saw her floppy bare breasts on Girls. Keep them to yourself, Lena. Those hacky sacks cost you most of your ratings.

    She’s a voice for no-one. A victim of self. A back-tracker. A sympathy seeker. A needy bag of histrionics.

    Muscato, you nailed it, she is also a mean girl. Watching Girls and knowing the cast were all real life ‘friends’ she’d hired, I realised the positions she was putting them in were so extreme and unnecessary that she had to be a total fucking cow. “Yeah, you can be on my show, but only if you let this guy stick his face right up your arse.”

    Misogynist masquerading as a feminist?

  11. Bevitron says:

    I’m so glad I don’t know who she is.

  12. Marm says:

    If you want to know what the problem with Lena Dunham is, I suggest you look at the work of her artist father, Carroll Dunham. Her mother is an esteemed artist as well, but not of the soul and eye searing variety of her husband. Seriously. Google him.

  13. Suspended says:

    Ha Ha Marm, his art is like an eroticised version of a Nickelodeon cartoon.

    Poor Lena, she’s had way too much vagina in her life.

  14. Gina says:

    Sorry, but I love neither Lena nor Amy. I don’t understand the appeal. I’m not a prude, but I don’t see the humor in anything that either of them say, do, or create.

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