A Shoegasm, Not

I know, you thought it was two shoes but it isn’t. Here is the explanation at Solestruck:

Can you handle the insane amount of ferocity in this Jeffrey Campbell XXL?? There is so much going on, it’s hard to focus on anything except how KILLER this shoe is! Futuristic, animalistic, and over-the-top hot, this one is for all the wild cards out there! Featuring leather upper, suede cutouts, cheetah print, and a mirrored architectural mirrored wedge heel. Pick yourself off the floor and get this shoe before it’s gone for good! 4 3/4″ heel, 1 1/2″ platform. Leather upper and man made sole.

God. Now what??

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49 Responses to A Shoegasm, Not

  1. alittlelux says:

    it’s like the inbred basement baby of every “trendy” JC shoe ever. yuck….

  2. WendyB says:

    Looks kind of like a ski boot, with that forward-tilting angle.

  3. Alicia says:


    I’ll tell you.

    That is Jeffrey Campbell’s version of turduckin. And it’s horrible. It is just horrible.

  4. enna. says:

    Well, there go Jeffrey Campbell’s design ideas for the next three years. Overdesigned much?

    Alicia– LOL! Although I’d like to think a turducken has a small semblence of redeeming value… it’ll go away if/when you eat it.

  5. E says:

    …. passes matches and wheels in the industrial strength shredder ….

  6. Miggs says:

    How to look like a fuckwit in one easy step.

  7. Mary says:

    Fucking yuck! Who ‘designs’ this shit for Jeff? They must be taking the piss for real.

  8. Sister Wolf says:

    alittlelux- Hahahahahaha!

    Alicia – HAHAHA, turduckin, they should have named it that!!!

    enna – That one is trying hard, but it’s no turduckin.

  9. BethUK says:

    These are no turduckin either but apparently you can stuff them full of sweets and popcorn if you’re going to the pictures. Yum.

  10. Stella Mayfair says:

    what is turduckin? that sounds terrifying.

  11. *appropriates the voice of Butters from South Park* Ohhhhhh Jeez!
    I didn’t think Jeffrey Campell could sink lower than the ‘many many many tack wedges’. Oh dear.

  12. arline says:

    Not what what I wanted to see at 5 am.

  13. Sheri says:

    Way too early in the morning for these.

  14. sam says:

    Just love the attention to detail. especially the zig zag stitch at the top.

  15. Cricket9 says:

    Wow. The mirrored heel is mirrored! Can come handy to apply lipstick, if you are a contortionist.

  16. Pick your self up from the floor after a) you’ve gotten over the shock or b) tried to wear them and fell over they are so stupid.

    I’m surprised they haven’t got a crucifix on there to really ‘nail’ it.

  17. kikiie says:

    heinous!!! as Nina Garcia would say, they are “angry shoes” and are trying way too hard

  18. marie says:

    i love the opening line, ‘Are you having a SHOEGASM!?’ this is more like a shoecussion -like being beaten over the head with the idea of a fierce shoe.

  19. Lara says:

    I fell for the first pair he came out with that had the mirrored wedge heel. As soon as they came in the mail, I promptly sold them on eBay and made an extra $100! I love a crazy wedge but just couldn’t do it.
    This is a monstrosity. Turduckin! hahahahaha!

  20. Aja says:

    People need to lay off shoes this season. Just leave them alone. Because the stuff you’re putting up here is horrifying. My eyes are offended every time.

  21. daisy says:

    this shoe looks like a foot emerging from a rear-entry ski boot.

  22. Ann says:

    Only thing worse than those shoes is the copy for it. Holy shit!

  23. Alicia says:

    @Stelly – it’s a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey. By far the most disgusting looking food I’ve ever seen.


  24. Alicia says:

    And I meant Stella, not Stelly.

  25. Sheri says:

    Alicia’s right — I just looked. Check out the one on the right. Definitely not something that should ever be eaten, much less seen.

    And I kind of like “Stelly.” Wonder how tough Marlon Brando would have sounded bellowing that. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1A0p0F_iH8

  26. hilda says:

    fucking ugly to me, but Michele from kingdom of style is probably loving these

  27. theresa says:

    haha shoegasm

    I’m on board with this thing as far as the mirrored platform then I become lost. I can no longer focus the animalism and the future ferocity deconstruct me the suede cuts me down the neo-archaic upper architecture builds into insanity. I can’t handle it.
    much like an orgasm.

    it kills me.

  28. Stella Mayfair says:

    @ alicia and sheri: thanks for the explanation. i’m officially grossed out now, hahahaaaa!

    and you can call me stelly anytime 🙂

  29. drollgirl says:

    DAMMIT. i have tried to leave a comment here 3 times. argh!

    needless to say, the shoes are stupid.

  30. kt says:

    It’s actually nice to know that the good people at JC are giving the blind an equal opportunity to design for them. That is the case, right…?

  31. Sister Wolf says:

    BethUK – “Not only will you roll sexy bada$$ rockstar in these,” is one of the best descriptive phrases in the history of the world. Too bad they didn’t get a copyright. I’m stealing it.

  32. Kathleen says:

    They said all that needs to be said here: “There is so much going on, it’s hard to focus on anything…”

  33. Juli says:

    It seems like the season of to hell with everything. I wish I left the house more so I’d have a chance to see these babies in action.

  34. RLC says:

    Hahaha I thought you had written that blurb for a joke and then I realised it was the real thing. Oh fashion industry, you know you’re in trouble when you start sounding like a parody of yourself.

  35. Ben says:

    Make Do Style- will you please stop with the quiz comments a)they’re annoying b)they’re boring c)they lack wit d)all of the above

  36. Sister Wolf says:

    Ben – How rude! Listen, the trolls her are supposed to complain about what a loser/old hag I am. Try to get back on track!

  37. Ben says:

    Ha, but you’re not, Sister Wolf.

  38. I think I may rename my blog Roll Sexy Bada$$ Rockstar, but I imagine Knarlitude has beaten me there.

  39. And I think the shoes neatly follow the line ‘are you having a Shoegasm’ with ‘then have a look at these to calm yourself the f*ck down’. Yes, I’m in a pointless swearing mood.

  40. Emily Bleak says:

    “Architectural mirrored wedge” – I think Doctor Venture put it best: “Who designed this? Frank Lloyd Wrong?”

  41. twistedlamb says:

    oh god, this just gave me a hangover

  42. Mary Angela says:

    I liked those…

    Totally off topic but: http://blog.zivity.com/radical-self-love-by-guest-blogger-gala-darli

    Check the first comment!! I am cracking up!

  43. Sister Wolf says:

    Mary Angela – funniest thing ever!!!!!!!!!! Thanks!

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  45. Hey, you know thati think Godammit, I’m Mad! » Blog Archive » A Shoegasm, Not is the best blog on the internet right? Love reading it!

  46. ILU JC says:

    These are not ugly shoes, you guys. Get your own opinions! I love them. Sexy.

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