Can We Talk?

Here are the results of Mom’s hard work redecorating the family crib.   Follow directions CAREFULLY.

1. Click on photos to expand to full size.
2. Don’t scream if you’re at work.
3. Find one item you would like to see in your own living room.
4. Explain the concept without using the word “jungle.”

This entry was posted in Art, Contest, Horrible Stuff and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

81 Responses to Can We Talk?

  1. RedPaeony says:

    I’d grab the white hydrangea on the table. And the books.

    Imagine the fabulous fire if those logs were set alight.

  2. Aja says:

    There’s so much in that room, I’d be terrified to move (as I have a tendency to break things). Maybe it’s the photography!

  3. Aja says:

    Oh and I like the wood shelf over the fire place.

  4. andrea says:

    Looks like a comical version of a sultan’s palace where he keeps his harem. As my mom would say, “what drek!!”(dirt, crap, excrement). But don’t you think that it matches her persona, with all that garish costume jewelry that she wears/sells/gets on ebay for next to nothing and puts on her web site for $$$? Hey, that makes her pretty smart, dosen’t it? I think I will try and do that!

  5. andrea says:

    file this under your tag “hideous crap”.

  6. mark says:

    I wonder what she did with those Warren Platner chairs she had. I want them.

  7. d says:

    feng shui hell

  8. TexasArt says:

    Just too much stuff & the track lighting needs to go.

    Once I found pics of her place from years ago … It looked really great, nice clean lines & ready for family living. I think that menopause & stress has hit her. I’ve got that going on myself & I don’t mean to be mean.

    Also after watching Hoarders & living through this terrible recession, I feel this style isn’t good from a design standpoint – Just cluttered.

    Actually this looks like Leslie Prichard’s stores from Again & Again in Dallas, TX on Bonita/Henderson. They both are friends … So maybe this explains it.

  9. Laurin says:

    I would describe this as ” post-modern design colonist” in which the colonist hoards all things shiny, 80s, and all around tacky.

  10. IndiaFrancis says:

    Where is poor Carol going to sit?

  11. Kapaali says:

    Terrible. Way too much stuff–your eye cannot easily find things on which to focus and so it just looks chaotic. And again, a vulgar display of wealth. Are these people nouveau riche? That might explain the “finding” and “curating” of “stock” and other “goodies”.

    I’m sorry, Sea and Mommy of Sea, but y’all waste so much money on crap, I just can’t see past it. You make me sick with your all-consuming lifestyle, when the money you spend on this bullshit could do so much good.

    And fucking track lighting? Really? You spent money on all this utter shite and didn’t replace those cheese ass track lights? What in gay hell is wrong with you?

  12. Isobel says:

    SW, your blog keeps me sane. You are HILARIOUS. Thank you.

    Mom of Sea, WTF? Spend some money on Carol instead of your house.

  13. Angelica says:

    Weird-ass panelled mirrors and a disco ball…looks like someone’s having a mid-life crisis. She really should have sprung for a ball that’s multicolored and has rotating functions though.

    Also, WTF is with the wood in the fireplace? Maybe if there’s ash still in the chimney it will spontaneously combust, light all the wood and burn this monstrosity down.

  14. Angelica says:

    Also I just noticed this…I wonder what sick fantasies Sea is going to act out with that Lucite penis. Maybe she’ll post it on her “other blog”!

  15. Juri says:

    I wish I could see what’s inside that giant clam on the dining table. My instinct says there’s a midget or a mannish 4rth world child bathing, doing his best impression of Al Pacino as Tony Montana and repeating selected lines from Scarface.

    The hideous furniture aside, mom’s living room looks like the last place in which I’d want to wake up after a few days drinking binge. What a hall of mirrors and horrors with no chance of avoiding your own reflection. I don’t suppose Mom or Sea do much living in that showroom.

  16. guccibaggirl says:

    They need help. A referral to investigate the meaning of this ‘creation’. If it isn’t the menopause then crystal meths might be an issue. Mind you I’d take the logs they look perfect for my log fire.

  17. Cricket9 says:

    Do you remember house of the main character in “Married to the Mob”? This is close, with an “ethnic” slant. Do they really have three, THREE horrible mirrors reflecting the horrible stuff?
    The fallic perspex thingy is really puzzling.

  18. Noa says:

    I just love reading this quotes like this :

    “We had to restrain ourselves from buying too much.”

    Dear Judy, I think you already did…. what a piece of uncoherent shit you acquired for you living room. Please fire the stylist who did this (who is apparently a graphic designer, which shows to stick to the thing your good at! graphics and furniture are worlds apart)

    If you want to have a laugh, read the interview that is now on Mom’s blog about her horrible house project

  19. missjackie says:

    “psychotic-greed-ridden-brothel-mess”

    Judy needs a new hobby. Has she ever considered taking a cubicle job?

  20. Mark says:

    “magpie-parvenu”

    Is that sap of ex-husband still bankrolling this?

  21. the real andrea says:

    Please suggest them for an episode of “Hoarders”. Can you imagine what this is like when it’s messy?

  22. Faux Fuchsia says:

    Consuela would never ever let the house get messy.

    And frankly, she’d be very upset that anyone even suggested it.

  23. Fi says:

    Would not want to trip in this room. One may lose an eye (or a trust fund).

  24. Suebob says:

    It’s like Liberace mixed with an elderly woman who was once a showgirl who married an elderly industrialist mixed with Columbian drug kingpin.

  25. patni says:

    So i have got my hands on a copy of pillow talk with rock hudson and doris day, to try and get a screen shot and post it here. It is so reminiscent of the awful way she decorates his apartment to punish him for being cheating fucker. I have a feeling mom of shoes may have been cheating on her decorator.

  26. BethUK says:

    1) OK.
    2) Eeep.
    3) Green day bed. Underneath all that stuff is a pretty velvet sofa thing having a panic attack.Someone rescue it.
    4) Magpie.

  27. Suspended says:

    Haha @ patni’s perfect description!

  28. took me a minute to recognize some of the elements in the room…dead giveaway was the logs in the fireplace…sea’s mom’s house!!!!!!!!!!!! fucknuts!
    SW there is so much good in this room but somehow together it looks a hot mess.

  29. sketch42 says:

    It looks like she is having a garage sale… in 1969. FUCK!!!!

  30. Elaine says:

    I suppose we must thank MoS and her “designer” friend for redecorating.
    How else is the economy is supposed to sustain itself unless women with their ex-husband’s credit card go on massive spending sprees? Also think about the poor over-priced and utterly tasteless crap that gets left in antique stores and furniture stores; they need homes too!

    My bet is even the dogs don’t feel comfortable with all this dead animal life in the room.

  31. Steroids says:

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