Sea has taken a brief respite from shoe curating but the posing and self-adoration continue unabated, like the tides.
Sea acquired an ugly cockroach necklace in an effort to establish her quirkiness, and she heaped on the black eye liner for a Clueless Goth effect. She and Mom snagged a lame python jacket after a harrowing close call with not snagging it! Whew! Thank god it all worked out.
Most noteworthy is the garbled language skills that Sea has been curating! Here is her observation about her taste in interior design:
“I guess the baroque-psychedelia of Foster’s Home has my eye trained on the more whimsical touches of the mansions from the Gilded era. I got this book at Dolly Python yesterday and love to see l that so many of these suffocatingly extravagant rooms have touches of candy colors like mint green, bubblegum pink, and robin’s egg blue.”
Hahahaha! “Suffocatingly extravagant?!?” Suffering succotash! That sounds like a description of her own living room!
Okay, you know the drill. I’ll go first:
Dear Sea, You’ll never believe this but I have the same black sweater from Lucky Jeans so we’re almost twins! Do you ever wonder what you would think about if you weren’t wealthy? Did you know that most women have a deep-seated dread of being like their mom? I like how you defy this fear by trying to look like a thirty-something divorcee circa 1980. If you need more cockroaches, let me recommend my kitchen! Love, SW
Jane, I don’t think it’s that odd to want a cockroach neclace.
In fact, I have a couple lucite bracelets with lots of bugs in them.
I bought them in part because because they were on sale for $10, though. Buying something because it’s inexpensive is a thing I suspect you would not do. But that’s OK.
And it’s OK for Sister Wolf to be upset with crass materialism, too.
Sometimes I get that way, like when one of my recently deceased uncle’s friends had nowhere to go after the man whose home he’d stayed in for years died and the house was condemned… and he’s older and sick himself, and can’t work much, and actually stayed several months in a condemned house with no running water until the place was torn down… after which another person did take him in, so it turned out OK, in the end.
So sometimes those types of situations make me that some folks have obscene amounts of money.
But then I buy crap I don’t need, too. Just less expensive crap.
So, Jane, I understand.
And Sister Wolf, I also understand.
I just sympathize with everybody all the damn time.
Uh, should be “those types of situations make me *mad* that some folks have obscene amounts of money”… or angry, or whatever word you’d like to be there…
Good Goddess! I spelled “necklace” wrong, too!
Aaaaaagh!
I don’t understand you guys. Why so mad? Why spend so much time focusing on things that upset you? Why is my opinion not welcome here and yours is? What harm is she causing? I don’t get it at all.
for the record…making fun of sea is hilarious. and completely meaningful. If I ever feel like a pretentious white 21 year old girl in totally over the top fancy shoes, designer lipstick and a dress i can’t sit down in, i can make fun of sea- by extension making fun of myself- except the more excessive insensitive version with suffocating-nouveauriche-personality-less tastes.
and, i except, if Jane lived in my town, I’d be friends with her. and i would sometimes roll my eyes at her or talk shit about her behind her back, but i would probably secretly get a massive kick out of her ridiculous life style.
I roll my eyes at alot of my friends.
The Mom, however, is the EPITOME of self absorption. and I want to punch her.
snicker. she always looks like she dresses in her mom’s clothes. and i guess she does. that is NOT necessarily a good thing.
and actually, I take that back. Jane has plenty of personality. but I really do think she needs to pick something and stick with it. Just because she can afford everything doesn’t mean she should buy and wear everything. I personally really like her music festival outfits…and I think its a natural look on her.
I also think she should go to college.
Jane if you read this: GO TO COLLEGE! IF YOU GO TO A LIBERAL ARTS SCHOOL (and you can probably get into a good one, what with your fucking massive resume,) YOU WILL FIND THAT SCENE THAT YOU LOVE SO MUCH. I promise!)
Gretchen, everyone’s opinion is welcome here. Hel was referring to the possessive pronoun use where there should have been a contraction. You are free to opine all you please…just like everyone else. Sure we may not all agree, but that’s half the fun.
Now let’s all go out for a big bowl of strawberry ice cream!
*group hug*
Seriously. I want ice cream.
Poor Gretchen got her knickers into such a tight knot over SW’s post that she’s now reading things into it that aren’t there! I didn’t see SW telling anyone what to wear… I’m sorry, maybe I missed it because my head is so far up SW’s ass… All I see is a comment on the ugliness of a decidedly ugly (in my opinion) piece of jewelry. If you want to wear/sell ugly shit — go right ahead! Don’t let us stop you. It makes great fodder for our amusement.
Gretchen et al — why don’t you keep kissing Sea’s ass and SW’s readers will keep kissing SW’s ass and all will be right with the world!
Jane — is the cockroach necklace an outward representation of the vermin eating away at you within??
Gretchen/dolly: I agree some of the commenters are a little mean for my taste. But I guess that’s the internet. I for one am not mad at anybody, but I’m not even close to a major commenter, so I don’t suppose it matters.
I try not to focus on what upsets me unless I can and should change it, which means I try not to be upset by what people buy or wear.
I just find myself torn sometimes between feeling sympathy for people who really are going through hard times, and just wanting to buy crap!
Alicia: I have strawberry ice cream in my freezer right now, if you happen to live in Ohio.
SHOOT!!!!
Maybe if I pay you for express overnight shipping it’ll get here before melting…but I guess picking up some from the store would probably be more cost effective…and faster…
Let me get back to you on that.
=P
You guys.
I bought green tea mochi ice cream from Trader Joe’s, an hour ago! Who wants ice cream?? Come on over . . .
R– Where are you going with this “years of humiliation and loneliness in the real world” nonsense? You think I have no friends or glamor or adventure in my life? Now, that is just plain silly. I know you would like it to be true, but if you think about it, it’s really not possible. Nobody with my wit, style, beauty, intelligence and excellent diction could be friendless.
But let’s talk about you. Why the long face? Why all this rage over some people having a laugh? Whose anus have you been sniffing lately?
It’s got really big pieces of strawberries…
MOCHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!
*grabs keys*
Hey R- you sound like you are “full of lose”. Or maybe “empty of win”.
Lord why the hell am I so chatty all of a sudden?
Hahaha– “full of lose”! That’s awesome. Must be the sugar-high hitting.
R=RONNIE
Hee hee, what a shit-storm! All I have to say, Dingleberry, is that I don’t have a conscious. Just like Sister Wolf. By the way, do you have a conscious? What it looks like and where do you keep it?
I heart Alicia. Full display of admiration here~
Hey Dolly Python,
If you’re going to come on this site and berate us then do it using correct grammar. If you’re incapable of that then we have the right, even the obligation, to make fun of you. That was the whole point of my “YOUR welcome” post. Also, your “opinion” was nothing resembling the definition of that word. You came in screaming at us not to tell you what to wear. Maybe next time you should post something more sane and reasoned; we would respond very differently. The same goes for the rest of the Sea of Trolls.
@ Kathleen – I’m deep in some cherry & dark chocolate home-made ice cream. It’s like B&J’s Cherry Garcia but better. Mmmmmm…
@Cricket9 – I <3 you. I had my conscience surgically removed, while I was unconscious. They let me look at my conscience and it was rather disappointing: large, swollen, over-used, and kind of hairy. 😉
I had a look at the cockroach. A fine specimen, I wonder where the Tetanus Jewelry guy catches them – oops, curates them. I saw better and bigger ones live only in Venezuela, they can fly too. Madagascar hissing cockroach is also impressive. I see potential for a whole line. Imagine Jane with “cutie” cockroaches crawling all over, eating cupcakes. I mean, Jane, not roaches, eating.
I have to go now and get some ice-cream, or maybe Monty Python (Monty, NOT Dolly) chocolates – the “cockroach cluster” seems appropriate.
I liked the Ungaro suit tough.
Kathleen – I like you.
Some people are full of gruntle.
Think about that. I give it to you with my blessings.
Enjoy!
Hand me my ass! I love it ladies. I can take it. Hateful bitches.
This comment thread is the only one of its kind worth reading for updates.
annemarie, I wish you could join in on all forums that end up bashing each other’s mothers or lack of friends. Or at least teach a course on Internet Discussion Board 101. SW could co-teach.
But now I want ice cream
Luckily I have lychee popsicles. That green tea mochi is calling to me though.
And my head is way to up my own ass. Ok?
Hahaha sorry before I get murdered for my shitty public schooling, quote ‘ my head is completely lodged up in my own ass.’ ok? Just crammed up in there for good. I think Jane and I should be killed for this. Thank you for making me see the errors of my ways. Kill me.
Oh Gretchen stop being dramatic, calm down and eat some ice cream already.
I just had two big bowls of rocky road ice cream. We also have fresh peach.
Yep, there is nothing (well, almost) that a bit of a “Moose Tracks” Canadian ice cream won’t fix. FYI, the said tracks are tiny little peanut butter chocolate covered thingies. Mmm-mm.
Gretchen – Admit you’re having fun here! That’s why you keep coming back! But it’s kind of babyish to mention me on facebook and then detete it.
Your pals need to learn to spell and to develop an understanding of satire. My readers are smarter and wittier than you imagined, so you’ll need to work harder to keep up.
Try to stop talking about our asses and move on to another body part.
Thanks.
Cricket is right…Moose Tracks CURE ALL. The kind I get is more fudge than peanut butter, but they’re both pretty freakin’ delicious.
<3 you Aja!
So when I first read this, I thought it was going to be a brass roach or something…. UM. NO. HOLY FUCK. I would never touch that thing.
I honestly cant understand this girls appeal. AT ALL.
I really need an evidence if Jane’s worldview exceeds everybody, well i might believe if she has vast “worldview” on animal though , hi Jane do u know that Japan not only consists of TOKYO?
I just got home from my job at the ice cream store. The best one in the world. Toscanini’s. We had strawberry, butter rum, bourbon peach, tiramisu, mango, mint brownie, etc etc etc. I ate a lot and feel sick but good.
Dear Dolly please don’t be a troll, i do not often go to Dallas but when i do, I love to go to your store and it would make me sad to avoid it because you are a troll.
About the cockroach pendant… now, you gotta admit, half the appeal is the gross out factor right? if no one freaked out and said eeewww grosss, there would be no reason to wear them.
Sister Wolf is hilarious, and while I am sure Sea is not the devil in her mothers gaudy dress, you might be able to admit, quietly and to your self, that she is self absorbed, and has too much money. Its fun to laugh at people like that. No one is saying they wish she had a terrible disease or a nasty accident. She puts herself up for judgment by having a web page, no one is seeking her out as she lives her quiet life. She is looking for an audience. The fans are always only half an audience.
I am neither witty or concise, but this is how I see it.
Dear Sea,
you cant shock me with your varmint pendant.
Suffocatingly extravagant is a stupid expression. Try nouveau riche grandiosity, if that hits a little close to home, overpriced and hideous, or what a friend of mine used to call gaudy-ous or tres fromage.
Also, that chair is stupid
love
patni
Your right. I’ll try eating more ice-cream so I can keep up with you guys. Lesson learned. Thanks! Come by any time ladies! Xoxo good night!
¨Gretchen — Admit you’re having fun here! That’s why you keep coming back! But it’s kind of babyish to mention me on facebook and then detete it.
Your pals need to learn to spell and to develop an understanding of satire. My readers are smarter and wittier than you imagined, so you’ll need to work harder to keep up.
Try to stop talking about our asses and move on to another body part.
Thanks.¨
—- SW, YOU´RE THE BEST OF THE BEST!!! 🙂
awww man correct grammar is so hard.
I think the defenders of Sea are allowed a couple of snafus.
(if a Ronnie VS annemarie showdown happens I want closer seats thanthe ones i bought for the lady gaga concert, thats for sure.)
Dear Sea,
Personally, I’d pay money to avoid having a gargantuan cockroach betwixt my own milky wilky, creamy white bosoms. But then, I throw up a little in my mouth whenever I see them. (Cockroaches, I mean – not bosoms.)
We live in neoliberal times, Sea. Your “curating” (read: conspicuous consumption) of questionable fashion paraphernalia is hailed by many as an unimpeachable practice!
But seriously, the next time you want to burn some more of your daddy’s money on fashion, try aiming for a motif higher than that of sewer pests.
Kisses, Rosa xx
PS: None of you fuckers told me there was ice-cream!!!
I’m going for mango gelato – with fresh passion fruit on top. BOOM.
When the lady in the ice cream shop says “one scoop or two?” why is it actually impossible to say anything other than “two please”
The flavours? Rum & raisin and honeycomb.
There is a beach near me that does something called the Robins Hedgehog.
This consists of vanilla ( chocolate for the non purists) ice cream smothered in clotted cream (which is double cream so thick you can stick a spoon in it, and it has a skin, yellow in colour, pure colon clogger) and then rolled in toasted hazelnuts.
I managed to eat three in a row once when pregnant, sure I felt slightly sick, but my friend bet me I could not eat more than two.
A win and a fail all in one.
Dear Sea,
It can suck being 17, no matter how much money you do or dont have.
I think you should go to school for what it’s worth, you would have an ace time.
Art school for instance.
Maybe an art school in a different country?
I have had plenty of friends who did that, (I live near one of the best art schools in England) they relished in the adventure that coming from a privileged family afforded them.
Theresa- You’re the only one who realizes the gravity of the fact that IT WAS RONNIE! Ronnie the Rockstar, Lover of Sea and Scourge of the Land was here! I think I can take him on. I would just pull his hair and knock his glasses off his face and call him some names. I think he is probably a very nice boy underneath it all, so I would then pick him up and dust him off and impart some comfort and wisdom to him. I think your summation of Sea is spot-on too. She probably is, fundamentally, a lovely girl. She wants a career in fashion and she uses her website as a sort of resume/personal ad. She’s only 17 though, and may change her mind, in which case she’s fucked: everyone will laugh at her in Med School, and how will she explain “Sea of Shoes” when she applies to work for Doctors without Borders? Anyway, I hope Ronnie’s nice to her.
Am I the only one who hates ice cream?
i love you. this is all.
Ammemarie is twice made of win for the use of ‘rad’ and the observation that Jane does indeed have amazing skin. And hair.
Thanks RedHead! You have beautiful skin too. Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Molly Ringwald circa Breakfast Club/Pretty in Pink? I’m sure you must have heard that a lot.
Arline – I don’t like ice cream either! Give me a giant bag of potato chips any day.