There aren’t really stages of grief, there’s just a big rupture and then a big mess of denial, anger, shock, guilt, etc. etc etc and none of it is orderly. Right now I’m in a state of disbelief and I’m guessing it’s adaptive, to keep mothers from flipping out.

I am seeking solace anywhere I can find it but I can’t listen to the news or look at fashion.

I’ll tell you what’s good: TV.

TV is a great panacea and pacifier. Reality TV is best. Crazy “Housewives” screaming at each other is like manna from heaven. My husband and I are taking comfort there. Scream and fight, Housewives! Never stop!

True Blood worked for me but not so much for my husband. He’s just not gay enough, I guess. When Sam and Eric eyed each other up, the thrill was electric, wasn’t it?!? Eric’s butt was too small for my taste but on the whole it was a yummy festival of hot gayness.

TV is my church and I will worship there. My bed is a place to hold Max’s stuffed animals from his babyhood. My fridge is stocked with weird leftovers from the meals brought over in sympathy.   My tolerance for idiots is being severely tested. My gratitude for kindness is fine-tuned. I can report that aside from TV, you really, really need friends.

Love is all that matters. Remember how we learned that before? It’s easy to forget. I’ll try to remind you, and you can try to remind me.

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60 Responses to Disbelief

  1. True Blood! Yes, Sunday is fun again! Here’s something just for you: http://truebloodtwitter.com/eric-bang.gif
    Sunday’s episode was filled with homo-eroticism, and I thought it was fab! Couldn’t get through the first book, its so poorly written so I’ll stick to the telly. And yes, reality TV makes great escape too. My guilty pleasure is The Rachel Zoe project, talk about messes! Unbelievably I’ve been asked to appear on “Wife Swap” not once, but twice! Um, no thanks! Use whatever you can to help you, and like I’ve said before accept whatever kindness is sent your way — it goes a long way. And don’t be afraid to ask, so many of us are willing to do whatever we can to help you and yours get through this!
    With Love,

  2. honeypants says:

    Even more LOVE if you have room for it <3

    Have you seen Snoop's loving ode to Sookie? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8tODhvb47s&feature=player_embedded

    I hope maybe that can help too. I too am glad the housewives are good for something. I already knew Eric and his butt were good for a lot!!!

    I'm sorry! I love you!

  3. kt says:

    I am a fairly new reader/follower, and I felt compelled to leave some words which you may care for, or not, but either way I’ll share them. You are the most “real” person on the interwebs (and probably outside of it) I’ve come across in my 26 years of living. Your commentary and opinions are always on point. While they are fueled with pretty intense emotion and ideas (that translates into some of the most humorous stuff) and misinterpreted by too many people, they are entirely self aware, aware of others, and importantly truthful. And I really love it.

    Thank you for your wholehearted honesty, realistic attitude, and even willingness to share your life with us who have developed an earnest interest in and care for you.

    kt xo

  4. Watched part of a Housewives reunion last night. Cannot believe all the fighting and complaining!

  5. dust says:

    Love is found in weirdest places, this blog is one of the weirdest.

  6. Editor says:

    All this I understand.

  7. Katya says:

    Haters gonna hate. The rest of us love you with all our hearts and think and feel for you.

  8. *gemmifer* says:

    Sister Wolf, this is my first time to your incredible site, but not my last. I want to add my thoughts and prayers to the many, many for your wonderful Max, taken much too soon, and to you as you continue on with life after his loss. As a stranger in this weird sphere we call the blogo-, this is probably a small comfort to you, but know that I am thinking of you.

  9. peaceBwithU says:

    As I read this blog as well as the comments I must admit I wept not for Max but for you my sister and Max’s father. I can not begin to imagine how it feels to have lost a child. I treasure my children and love them more than words can say. I have been trying to keep up with your grieving process and believe you are handling it amazingly well. It must be all the love that is flowing your way from all of us that not only have come to love your gift of gab but your willingness to listen to those moronic people who don’t seem to have a clue about who you are and what you do.

    To all of you out there who just can not bring yourselves to say something nice…. Shut the fuck up. You obviously do not have a clue! Or children.

    Happy fathers day Max’s dad I know he is with you just look at the moon tonight or the stars. And to the both of you my love flows.

  10. dexter vandango says:

    When I heard the sad sad news the first thing I thought of was this song:

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