Explain These Shoes, and More

Just tell me why we need our feet to look like hooves or camel-toes. Is it because the designer is Maison Martin Margiela?

Can I tell you a secret? I don’t care about Martin Margiela! Or even Ann Demeulemeester! I’m over it. And yet, I still get a thrill from Goony Bird. She still needs to pee, evidently. Pee already, Goony Bird!

Since I can’t get too excited over fashion at the moment, I’m spending more time looking at art and photography. Here is a beautiful image by Alberto Rugolotto. I’m calling it “La Pieta.” Click on it for maximum effect.

If I can’t buy clothes, I can at least appreciate it as modeled by good looking men.

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32 Responses to Explain These Shoes, and More

  1. Thank you I can’t buy clothes so this is a very welcome distraction!

  2. enna. says:

    Those shoes creep me out so much. I think I’ve seen a heeled version somewhere on the ‘net, which is even worse.

  3. Dru says:

    I honestly don’t get why people hate the split toes so much. They remind me of satyrs/fauns/other small fantastic creatures that prance, and I love them for it. Also, my feet have a large gap between the big toe and the next-biggest toe from years and years of slipper-wearing, these look like they’d be a really comfy way to, how do you put it, mind the gap.

  4. skye says:

    I don’t like the split toe shoes, they always have that labial look to me. I used to know a woman who wore a pair (I think they were by margiela or some other belgian) and she called them her vagina shoes, and genuinely believed that men found them sexy because of the association. Maybe so, but i’m not sure I’d actually want to be turning on the kind of dudes who would go for those shoes.

  5. David Duff says:

    “If I can’t buy clothes, I can at least appreciate it as modeled by good looking men.”

    Ahem! The words “long” and Johns” and “me, me, me” occur.

    I think it can only be a matter of time before Vivienne Westwood’s people get in touch with my people to arrange a shoot of me modeling her latest creative range known to us ‘cogniscenti’ as ‘Old Dribblers Grundge’. It will take the world by storm because there’s more of us oldies these days than you youngsters.

  6. Juri says:

    I was about to write an early note to Santa to let him know I want a pair of camel-toe slippers for Christmas.
    Then I read Mr. Duff’s comment and realized my feet are not worthy. When David Duff in his best Long Johns teams up with Vivienne Westwood to have a go at those shoes (or whatever variation they will come up with), it will be wise for the lesser mortals, such as myself, to step down and admit we are out of our league here.

  7. Juri says:

    That’s why I told Santa I will settle for a pair of penis-shaped shoes instead. Obviously, I shall expect them to come with a giant mushroom head for toe cap and a pair of swarty balls attached to the heelcap.
    As for the material, I’m still swaying between leather and vinyl. Maybe it is safer to have a pair of both.

  8. Juri says:

    Although warty might do as well.

  9. hammie says:

    I call it, “2 guys in tights making mosquito nets for the third world”


  10. hammie says:

    Oh and Labial shoes are only one step on from toe cleavage, for the winter. Feet are feet, Vulvas are vulvas. xx

  11. WOW where to begin. They are a reminder of the female form without a doubt and I much prefer to keep” my vagina” where it belongs ……. under those amazing shorts the lovely model with the “perfect” body is trying to sell us. Although as short as they are I have a strong suspicion that it (my vagina) would peek out at you if you didn’t sit properly or god forbid you had to bend over. So since I don’t have the body to carry off the shorts nor the “want” to wear the “vagina” shoes I will go back to my flip flops and jeans and get my head out of the clouds.

  12. My worst nightmare (my earlier comment was a product of someone pre coffee sans milk fix) when I do personal styling is a woman standing in front of me with a pair of jean or trousers on and exhibiting camel toe – or upside down McDonalds as an assistant stylist said once before we went purple with trying not to laugh.

    I’m now feeling horrid after sharing that and need another cup of coffee.

  13. annemarie says:

    The pieta picture reminds me– I need to have more sex.
    For 2010: more fucking, less shopping.

  14. sarah says:

    While I am all for taking fashion risks, I’m not at all into looking like a llama.

  15. But I do love llamas. Never wanted to look like one though. So I must agree.

  16. Mara says:

    I know what’ll cheer you up, Sister Wolf. Sea of Shoes’ “Aldridge Trench” as modeled by Goony Bird:


  17. Alicia says:

    Tabi shoes have always weirded me out. I remember seeing running shoes in that design. They were just as weird…possibly weirder.

    I did the photograph though. Dig it a whole lot.

  18. TheShoeGirl says:

    These are hideous.

    Side note:
    Remember those shoes you told me not to buy… You were right. I hate them now.

  19. Juri says:

    Do not trade your shopping habit in for that silly sex business, annemarie. I tried it once. Not worth the hype.

  20. Iron Chic says:

    Those shoes are ugly and I guarantee that straight guys will not understand them, appreciate them or touch you with a ten foot pole if you wear them.
    They are strictly for fashion people and lesbians.

  21. yikes, these shoes reminded me of some scary views spotted in my ymca the other day.

  22. Aja says:

    Shoes with the split toe are mad comfy, no joke. I have Nike Air Rifts and as much as I want to hate on Nike, I love, love, love those shoes.

  23. David Duff says:

    Annemarie, fear not! An old-style British gentleman stands, as it were, ready to satisfy your every need, er, only if you could just hang on until 2011 because these days I need to think about it for quite a long time in order, so to speak, to prepare myself. However, (he added hastily) it will be well worth the wait, I assure you – assuming I live that long, of course.

    Oh, and pay no attention to that ‘Juri’ fella’, doesn’t know what he’s talking about!

  24. Andra says:

    I saw a man in Cairns a couple of days ago had this type of shoes on but his had 5 sections … one for each toe.
    He was a normal looking young bloke with a normal looking female with him but those were very, very strange feet.
    I just figured it was some kind of deformity and backed off a few feet.
    Can they be easy to put on? Looks tricky to me.
    David Duff … you cad, sir!
    I thought better of you. Does the missus suspect what shennanigans you are up to in your long johns? I don’t think so!
    Shame on you.

  25. andrea says:

    I am with you Aja, they are amazingly comfortable. Sorry, SW, I cannot agree with you on this. When I clicked on the link to this post today, I was heartbroken. I can’t believe that you don’t “get’ these! I have a pair of the flats in antique mirror-y eather, and I have the ankle boots in black. The leather is buttery soft, and if they fit correctly, they feel like gloves for the feet. Really comfortable and not mainstream at all. I’m surprised if you are an Amanda Palmer fan, who is always irreverent and a nonconformist, that you find these abhorrent. I am not for camel toe when I wear pants, but these are nothing like that. And my husband likes them because it makes me kosher. (for those unfamiliar with the rules of being kosher, kosher = animal with split hooves). : )

  26. Jenny Dunville says:

    These shoes should be reserved for very ancient women with dowagers humps.

  27. explanation for the shoes: the devil’s daughter goes to the mall to do some shopping, hence a lot of walking. and she’s not ready for heels. but is proud of her lineage.

    goony bird? i don’t have feelings about goony bird. i like big bird!

    and hot men: hot men! please blog more hot men, thanks!

  28. homodachi says:

    Why does goony bird always look like she’s hunching her neck to fit her head into the photo? STOP IT

  29. al dc says:

    it is kind of funny that shopbop styling of that trench coat has the sleeves rolled up, to hide the design detail she particularly wanted..

  30. Vagabondiana says:

    In a little pickle as to how I can conjur up a comment without offending (setting you off) you at the first word ?

    I (safe, mundane option) discovered your site today and I’ve got this far, so far. I must take my irises elsewhere for a little while and so hoped you might just get your blog binded up into a paperback and packed over to me.

  31. Well not really much to add here as this was superbly written. I can say that this was definitely what I was looking for though. I can’t count how many times I have looked on a blog for something and came up with something completely unrelated like searching for work boots and coming up with high heels, or something like that. You know, while we are on the topic of this industry, you have to admit that it is becoming more and more diluted with a bunch of BS rather than quality information such as this article. I will definitely add this one to my list of RSS feeds. I just hope you keep it updated more often than you are right now, hah! Anyways, have a nice day and nice post.

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