…..if the tauntaun that I’d been lying unconscious in on the planet HOth to survive the freezing cold was suddenly featured on SOS being “styled” with varying vermin and oddly shoulder-padded monstrosities….and prosti-barbie shoes (lest we forget). I’d have to do something for christssake – the force can only get one so far….
… if i was invited to a fancy dress carpet with the theme of outdated soft furnishings. It would be pretty rad and me and my bohemian friends would all rock killer kit like this.
Oops. That garment has addled my mind – I mixed up the words ‘carpet’ and ‘party’. I guess I’d underestimated it by dismissing it as ugly when really its powers of headfucking are so potent that seeing a picture of it can make you sound like a fool.
Seeing it in real life must be devastating.
Trying to kidnap a baby yak for the purposes of keeping it calm while transporting it to an animal refuge…or if I were dressing as Rachel Zoe for Halloween.
… I had a mental breakdown.
… my name was Jane Aldridge.
I would wear that fur thing if it I wanted to camouflage myself in a group of silver pheasants.
“I would wear this fur thing if it would cure me of my food addiction and low self-esteem”
they increased my medication.
I wanted to make sweet love to a Yeti.
If I were Gnarlitude. That fur thing is groin-grabbingly rad.
….gooney bird modeled it.
Why does this girl look like she is sucking on a small gob-stopper?
“I would wear this fur thing if… if, uuuummmm… nope. I wouldn’t wear it.”
I had a choice between this and dying.
…if I didn’t already have a Vena Cava one that looked just like it. (Shoot me!)
I was starring opposite a back-from-the-dead Viggo Mortensen in The Road 2
…..Someone paid me a huge amount of money and threw in some matching French knickers
…..I was trying to catch some exotic bird in the jungle.
I would wear this thing … if I could wear my long Johns as well.
(I’m sorry to keep banging on about my long Johns but, God, I look sexy in them!)
…I were dressing as Tranny Bigfoot for Halloween.
…..if the tauntaun that I’d been lying unconscious in on the planet HOth to survive the freezing cold was suddenly featured on SOS being “styled” with varying vermin and oddly shoulder-padded monstrosities….and prosti-barbie shoes (lest we forget). I’d have to do something for christssake – the force can only get one so far….
I were that ugly furry guy from Star Wars and it actually grew on my back.
I was being prepared to be hung…. in Russia… and had no metallic jean pants to wear.
SW – I have never commented before today, but I just have to say once and for all time eternal: You Rock So Hard.
That is All.
xoxoxo
They paid me. It’s so achingly rad.
…if I had lost my sight and sense of touch.
If I were born with it on.
Someone held a gun to my head? Hmmmm, let me think about it.
I was a hooker. A Cro-magnon hooker.
“…held at gunpoint.”
there are no words.
I was going to a costume party as a chicken…it instantly reminded me of the little chickens with white polka dots on their black feathers.
BaLK! BaLK!
… it were a VERY chilly day in hell. I’m talking icicles on Satan’s pitchfork.
…the pants came with it, because I’d wear the pants while I took the fur thing to Beacon’s Closet to resell to Brooklyn hipsters.
I had the brain the size of a chicken.
“… I was joining the cast of Sesame Street.”
“… if it also worked as a flotation device at Wet & Wild or on the Lazy River at the PGA Marriot outside of San Antonio!”
Oh! Scratch that, I might get shot. Texas ya know!
“Bother” ~ Eeyore
I lost all common sense?
… if i was invited to a fancy dress carpet with the theme of outdated soft furnishings. It would be pretty rad and me and my bohemian friends would all rock killer kit like this.
Oh dear, I feel dirty for typing this.
Tina Turner in Mad Max 2.
if I were in a theatre production of “Where The Wild Things Are.”
Oops. That garment has addled my mind – I mixed up the words ‘carpet’ and ‘party’. I guess I’d underestimated it by dismissing it as ugly when really its powers of headfucking are so potent that seeing a picture of it can make you sound like a fool.
Seeing it in real life must be devastating.
…it came with a full refund
…I were in a coma and some stupid bitch put it on me.
Trying to kidnap a baby yak for the purposes of keeping it calm while transporting it to an animal refuge…or if I were dressing as Rachel Zoe for Halloween.
…it was Halloween and I was dressing as a fashion blogging Yeti?
ROFLMAO!! You guys are the BEST!! I haven’t laughed this hard in weeks. Thank you!
…if I´m stranded in Antartica.
I’d wear this fur thing…
…if I wanted to upgrade my chastity belt.
…if Johnny Depp would do me in it.
…if I were an Aldridge.
…if I were an asshole.
…if I was in Tibet and looking to mate with a Yeti.
…. gorillas in the mist came visiting and I wanted them to feel at home.
“if Johnny Depp would do me in it” = Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Same here. Without hesitation.
If I had to rock it, shred it and wrench it. I’m still not quite sure what all that entails but I know I will need that furry thingy.
I was auditioning for the part of Buckbeak the Hippogriff in Harry Potter and the Stupid Fashion Bloggers…