Footwear That Dare Not Speak Its Name

Will you look at this shit? Is it a shoe or a boot or something else that never should have happened?

It’s by Jeffrey Campbell, duh, and it’s called “The Knee High Iconic Gladiator” and here I forget the last word, either shoe or boot.

The worst thing is that I meant to post this yesterday and NOW THIS ICONIC-WHATEVER IS COMPLETELY SOLD OUT!

Please forgive me! It was at Karmaloop. God. Am I Cunt of the Week  now?

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30 Responses to Footwear That Dare Not Speak Its Name

  1. XuXu says:

    Lady Sister,

    This. I have to say.

    1) my footwear collection consists of 7 pairs of wearable boots/shoes (and one of those pairs are running shoes–and by wearable, I mean not holey, as opposed to not-hoey).

    2) I never understood the shoe fetish. I don’t understand it now. And this non-understanding makes me feel sad and dismayed and like I want a pony.

    3) I don’t understand the fashion blogs (how people have time, where they look, what is the chocolate button that drives them).

    4) I heartily and usually agree with your opinions, and guard a red spot in my heart for thee, Sister Sweet Pea Wolf.

    5) BUT THOSE SHOES ARE BANGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    COMPLETELY AND RUTHLESSLY BANGING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    WITH BOXER SHORTS!!!!!!!!!
    OR A RAINCOAT!!!!!!!!!!

    JUST LET ME AT THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The end.

    XuXu (who is ever so sad that you have not taken up her challenge…)

  2. These abominations visually displeased me but worst it reminded me of being really bored on a Sunday afternoon as and watching Xena Warrior Princess which I loathed but felt compelled to watch. Nothing would compel me to buy this things therefore not only are you saviour of the week but Xena, Hercules et al are nominated as cunts of the week just for the hell of it.

  3. Stella Mayfair says:

    all sorts of wrong. the wedge is full of thumbtacks (sp?).
    will shopbop take them on so that goony bird could model them in the future?

  4. Louise says:

    Holy Moly! So sad that I missed these puppies, am off to push drawing pins in my shoes and wrap my legs in bin bags.

  5. Sardonique Schadenfreude Rictus says:

    A Roman Gladiatorial epic as envisioned underneath the dazzling cocaine fountains and sconces of Studio 54 (circa 1977).

  6. Braindance says:

    Make Do Style, c’mon, you know you love Xena Warrior Princess really.
    The amount of hours I wasted watching that show as a teenager.
    Almost as many hours were wasted watching Alien Nation (getting drunk on sour milk being one of their better storylines, that’s how diabolical it was) and that really bad show from the 90’s Renagade.
    Anybody else remember that crap? Was on about 1am over here in Blighty. Was so so bad it was good, the thing that made me laugh the most was, Renagade wrote it, directed it, produced in it and starred in it. Did nobody have the balls to tell him it was the biggest turd ever? Not even his Native American friend with terrible style told him.

  7. Cricket9 says:

    All I ever wanted to be is a…gladiator.

  8. Ann says:

    Those shoes (boots?) are terrible. Who bedazzled the wedge, and why? Only thing worse than these shoes (boots?) is the knockoffs that will be coming out next season.

    And noooo, you’re not Cunt of the Weekâ„¢ ! You are merely the messenger! If I found those, I’d have shouted it from the rooftops as well, in an effort to dilute it in my own brain.

  9. skye says:

    Is the stud/drawing pin thing still actually happening? Not to mention the gladiator-ishness – surely these things should not be troubling us still.

    I wouldn’t be surprised to see these on Samantha in the new Sex and the city movie though, they have that sort of fug about them.

  10. Faux Fuchsia says:

    They’re awful but some poor deluded fool thinks they are challenging the paradigm and visionary.

    Meanwhile I hate and loathe the word iconic – so overused.

  11. arline says:

    An amalgamation of two unfortunate trends.

  12. mutterhals says:

    I’d like them if not for the big frankenstein sole and all the stupid hardware…

  13. Bessie the cow says:

    I don’t like the fact that they’re made from my brethren. I don’t like the clunky studded wedge heal, but they could be reincarnated into something that I might find less objectionable. But what do I know? I’m wearing argyle socks with water shoes . . . at work.

  14. XuXu says:

    You All Have It WRONG!!!!!

    These are Fucking FANTASTIC SHOEY THINGS!!!!!!!!


  15. Pudfish says:

    These are truly tragic, they don’t even look well made, the leather is all runkled and the whole black strips thing reminds me of electricians tape, and the bottoms look like silver barnacles are growing on them, was it left over from Pirates of the Caribbean? But of course I do not understand cutting edge fashion these days.

  16. I’ll buy anything with “Iconic” in the title.

  17. Angie says:

    I believe this shoe is “fierce” or “killing it.” I’m just not sure which.

  18. MJ says:


    [What Would Sea Say?]

  19. HelOnWheels says:

    SW, you sure know how to force a girl to be frugal. Yet another shoe post that’s put me off buying shoes.

  20. Jill says:

    Got an email from Bergdorf’s today exclaiming about their Spring Booties…I was hoping this trend would be over now that Winter has fled.

  21. The hardware reminds me of an elephant foot.

  22. I like anything gladiator. Reminds of KISS. I’ll take a pair in 10 and a half please

  23. WendyB says:

    Ha ha…I like the idea of you nominating YOURSELF for Cunt of the Week.

  24. Mary says:

    Fucking hideous! That is all.

  25. Pudfish says:

    Wow, Mary, those are even more frightening, I think you win!

  26. Ann says:

    Mary! Those are shiteous!

  27. Dru says:

    You’d still have to work very hard to find anything fuglier than those “floral slouch clogs” of a couple of weeks ago though.

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