Godawful Writing Award!

It is my privilege to bestow the first Sister Wolf Godawful Writing Award upon Refinery 29.

Please enjoy the prize-winning masterpiece below:

~

For the true connoisseur, it is the writing equivalent of a box of delicious chocolates. I LOVE the last few words, “they so dearly deserves” but for some reason my favorite linguistic fumble is the use of “smattering.”

Congratulations, Refinery 29!

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30 Responses to Godawful Writing Award!

  1. ‘this isn’t a trend we can entirely get behind’

    *instantly thinks of something rude*

    If they don’t agree with it why do they write with such appreciative gusto?

  2. alittlelux says:

    i HATE the word “cray cray”. I HATE the word “va-jay-jay”… After the lead, my eyes just got blurry and my mouth filled with bile. think i could send refinery 29 my therapy bill?

  3. I like the spirit but the subject matter is dire and the execution of the writing is appalling.

  4. jlynn says:

    I must start a fashion blog called Sartorial Smatterings.

  5. Sister Wolf says:

    jlynn -PLEASE DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. I agree with alittlelux….I can’t bring myself to repeat their most odious use of abbreviation for the sake of rhyme.
    JUST WRONG.
    Like vajazzling.
    And PennyDreadful, I thought of that too.

  7. Dru says:

    I wonder if they pay their writers, or if all the posts are “written” by some pranker intern turning a not-too-well-trained pet ape loose on the keyboard.

    No, scratch that. Apes are noble animals, I shouldn’t insult them by suggesting they are responsible for this bilge.

  8. Ann says:

    The pink obsession? Did they really say that? They used 5 different terms for vagina in that single paragraph. They are like the Jeffrey Campbell of shoes. It HAS to be a joke.

  9. Esme Green says:

    oh, they changed it again!

  10. Aja says:

    I love the starts shooting off the page. Lovely!

  11. Nickie Frye says:

    R29 used to have really interesting articles. This is downright stupid. But I must be wrong because their site is wildly popular. More & more I feel like a stranger in a strange land of vajazzled va-jay-jays. 🙁

  12. E says:

    What really pisses me off is that they are surely using the wrong terminology?
    External lady parts – vulva; internal lady parts – vagina surely?

  13. honeypants says:

    I’m with alittlelux too. I want to start tearing heads and limbs off people when they use the vjj term. UGH! The second I saw “smattering” my WWSWD bell went off. And the whole time, I was just feeling my poor deceased grandmother’s horror at the subject matter. When did I become such a prude? What’s next? Will we be adorning our internal organs soon?

  14. Srenna says:

    I feel violated on so many level after reading that.

  15. ShoeTease says:

    Va-jay what? Oh dear. What the heck happened to the language-formerly-known-as English?

    Just. Absurd.

  16. Cricket9 says:

    Their vajazzling is not very bedazzling. I can see the DYI advice coming next, for women who so dearly deserve to indulge their pink obsession but don’t have means to afford entire day spa to preen on their nether regions: “How to adorn your va-jay-jay with sequins, glue gun and Svarowski crystals” tutorial with 15 FREE patterns”.
    There, I wrote it, now excuse me I’m going to vomit.
    BTW, did y’all bleach your armpits yet? Apparently, we should.

  17. Taylor says:

    Ugh… the worst part for me is “The pink obsession.”

  18. K says:

    so bad… was this written by gala darling?

  19. kate says:

    why am i always so late to the conversation that i read something like this and instead of being able to criticize constructively all i can do is ask, what is… (blehhh) ‘vejazzeling’? oh god don’t make me google it.
    and WHY is it first person plural? i get a mental image of stylish women sitting around a computer laughing about vaginas.
    i don’t want any of this in my head.

  20. EJ says:

    Cricket9- bleach your armpits???

    I can’t be the only one who in the face of all of this fuckery just wants to go all crazy, hairy, earth woman out of contrariness and fury?

  21. Sister Wolf says:

    EJ -You are not alone. I’ve been growing my armpits for 30 years and no one comes near my crotch except to pay homage to its natural foliage.

  22. Alexandra says:

    Ugh, I’m not sure which of ‘v-j-j’ and ‘pink obsession’ is worse. What is with this quest for the most nauseating euphemisms? Does anybody read those terms and actually feel delighted, or whatever?

  23. Cricket9 says:

    Yes, armpits bleaching is (according to Vogue and Globe & Mail) around for some time already; having a shade darker skin there is a “no-no” (another expression I hate; it often appears in women magazines). I’m just waiting for Vogue to tell us that foot binding is a “delightful” practice.

  24. Dru says:

    Cricket- they don’t need to advocate footbinding, expensive 5-inch stilettos perform a lot of the same functions (and gushing over them keeps the advertisers in business, too).

  25. Grace says:

    As someone who recently turned down a writing internship at Refinery29, I can tell you that they pay their writers shit. I am a writer and I think I’m pretty damn good at it. It’s how I make my living after all. I had starry-eyed dreams of really going somewhere if I interned at Refinery29, but their “paid stipend” is a JOKE. $15 a day to pay for food and transportation. In NYC. I would have gone there and performed indentured servitude, and they would have profited from my skills. No thanks.

    Sister Wolf, I promise, if I had worked for them, I would have never stringed together such alarming “prose” as “cray-cray for the vajayjay.”

    Dodged a bullet, I did.

  26. Marla says:

    I hate “vajayjay” and “lady bits” It’s a labia and vagina, grow up!

  27. Kate says:

    That is truly atrocious! Is the Godawful Writing Award going to become a staple? If so, or if not but you still want to become enraged, check out Groupon. They write “””clever””” descriptions of their daily deal in the most misguided attempt at marketing there ever was.

  28. kate says:

    so i went ahead and googled ‘vejazzle’ and found an article describing what it is. the article also has a voluminous number of fun and new ways to say ‘vagina’ without actually having to say ‘vagina’. like ‘lily’.
    http://room704.us/2010/07/sparkle-party-in-my-pants-by-misstejota/

  29. Brie says:

    No only is the writing bed but they spammed the shit out of my inbox with about 10 emails per day whenever they updated their shitty site. I finally opted out of emails and hope that that stops their spammy practices.

  30. Jaimi says:

    $15 a day??? Shit. No wonder. Who the fuck would be desperate enough to do that one?
    I wish there was a thoughtful, well written fashion website out there, something to counter all the mindless, horribly written bullshit out there. The only one that comes to mind is a fan blog for the model Freja Beha Erichsen.

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