On my way into a Nordstrom dressing room, I grabbed this denim jacket that was hanging near the entrance. Just trying to amuse myself, although my actual selections were nearly as awful and inappropriate. The salesperson who unlocked the fitting room door was decked out in eye-bruising psychedelic prints, with some crazy glittery Converse shoes.
I praised the shoes and he said they were a collaboration with “a designer named JW Anderson.” He seemed shocked that I knew the designer. Was it because I’m a hundred years old? Or because I was holding this hideous, $250 piece of shit from Topshop??
If you are what you wear, a lot of people are not only nuts, but blind too. I was happy to get this photo but it’s safe to say that most hideous denim exists not as private jokes but as genuine bait for the rich and clueless. It just never stops! Year after year, the denim atrocities flood shopping sites and landfills. It’s the one sure thing after death and taxes.
Here are a few new “pieces” for you to contemplate. If your central aim is to look unattractive, the following will fit the bill:
Classically misconceived shorts by Lowe, featuring the dreaded front pleats, a wide hipped silhouette and an awkward length.$650.
Or for a few more bucks and equally unflattering, these Natalie Ratebisi high-waisted jeans with darts, pleats and camel-toe, just $725.
How about a skirt?
R13 never disappoints when it comes to overpriced pseudo-hipster crap. This stretch-denim leopard-print skirt with chewed edges features an asymmetrical crossover waist. How cute with some fake Dr. Martens and an expensive white T? A bargain at $495.
Now let’s see what the luxury designers are doing with denim, starting with Carolina Herrera.
Front slits and self-tie waist-sash make these denim pants a baffling choice for any occasion, right? I mean, what would you wear them with? I just can’t even. $1,090.
Unravel is a horrible upscale brand that’s always trying to punk us with their stupid laughable designs, kind of like Y Project and their denim panties. Here’s a key piece for Spring.
All the bells and whistles for $1,145. Fuckers.
Finally, because I’m getting depressed, here’s a jumpsuit by Isabel Marant, the brand that’s supposed to be the essence of French cool-girl style.
At least it looks comfortable, except when you have to pee, of course. Just $550
I haven’t worn jeans or other denim in 30 years. And you are so beautiful, Sister Wolf.
LOL Hilarious! However, you look fabulous. XO
Thank you for bringing up the pee issue that is so obvious to me but never talked about when it come to Overalls.
I do not get it, the overall wearing and also Denim. Take care
Z Cavariccci (SP?) should sue Natalie Ratebisi. Pretty sure I had those in the 80’s (acid washed, of course)….
The ability to properly arrange a jumpsuit prior to using a toilet involves positioning the feet wide apart and folding the sleeves into the legs (keep those cuffs off the urine soaked floor!) and is one of the few things that distinguishes war heroes from regular jerks.
Also, I’m pretty sure that your hair does not comply with uniform regulations.
Also too as well that redheaded model’s face looks like Zach Woods’ face.
https://www.phillymag.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2015/04/AP324872928184-1.jpg
Sister, you look an fab! You’re youthening!! Forget the denim!