I Can’t Quit Her!

Shit. I need to move on, but how?!?!

I really think I was making progress getting over her until I read this quote:

“I want to be able to help also Americans to know that they can trust their media.”

WHAT IS THAT “ALSO” DOING THERE ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! It’s fucking maddening. Can’t someone sever her vocal cords?

Neiman Marcus is having a special two day sale, but it’s dead to me now, as Tony Soprano would say. I know that’s a good thing, but still. I’d like to hate Neiman Marcus on its own merits.

I do plan to write about fashion here, but only in a complaining way. I’m mad, remember? There are already enough fashion bloggers out there, but I still haven’t met anyone as mad as I am. Today I’m mad at my OTHER next door neighbor, who I’ll call Steven because that’s his name. Steven is divorcing his nice hard-working wife and he’s taking her to court to get spousal support, so he can keep flying to New York all the time, pretending he’s not gay.

Also too, I’m really really mad at that horrible crazy Russian Lady (who famously got all up in my grill) because get this: In her boring and pointless blog, she is comparing Obama’s forthcoming presidency to the reign of Josef Stalin. You heard me. Stalin. And yet, I can’t have her deported or sent to the cornfield!

Okay, that’s it for now. Any ideas on how to overcome my PDS, please advise! Or just go here and scream out loud.

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33 Responses to I Can’t Quit Her!

  1. Juri says:

    I can’t quit her either. I knew it would be hard but had no idea it would be like this. How do you let go of someone like her? When even Fox comes out these days with “revelations” about her not knowing the three members of NAFT, or that Africa is a continent etc. it’s too addictive for me to look the other way.

    I need help.

  2. David Duff says:

    ‘Sister Wolf’, you will allow me, I’m sure, a tiny smile at *you* deprecating Tatyana for hyperbole. The words ‘pot’, ‘kettle’ and ‘black’ spring to mind!

  3. Suebob says:

    Your neighbor reminds me of David Rakoff talking about people who say “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” David said, “Of course not Adam and Steve. It’s never Steve. It’s always Adam and STEVEN.”

  4. Honeypants says:

    Oh god, that clip did make me want to scream! But everyone’s still asleep here. Who is she to complain about someone being mean spirited?!!

    Good luck to Steven’s soon to be ex-wife.

  5. Sonja says:

    Don’t you Also Americans feel blessed that this charitable whack job is offering to help you to know that you can trust your media? It’s touching, no? Her brain may be puny but her heart is that huge.

  6. enc says:

    You can’t quit her because she has high entertainment value. Surrender to the perverse joy.

  7. daisybabie says:

    Whoa! I thought I was one of only a few folks remaining who is unable to fully let this go yet. I’m with ya Sister. Seeing Palin makes me want to just scream with exasperation! It’s one thing for her to have her opinions, but I can’t see how her ignorance is found acceptable.

  8. allisonwrote says:

    BAAHAHA! I love it. I hate her speech as much as I hate George Dubya’s. Food on your family don’tcha know say it ain’t so JOE THE PLUMBER SIXPACK YOU BETCHA!

    ARGHHHH I HATE IT.

  9. annemarie says:

    Dear god, I almost feel sorry for the cunt, except I don’t at all– haha!

    I see she has reverted back to the Alaska big blow-out hair-do. She was interviewed by a Wasilla newspaper yesterday evening and had this to say:

    “I decided to unlearn also the hair-styling tips I got on the campaign trail, but as to whether it’s a continent or a country, regarding Africa there, come on, you’re a jerk. I am glad to be also back governing this great state. Now I nafta wash the skidmarks out of all of Todd’s new silk underwear since he hasn’t stopped shitting himself since I lost the campaign. Waaaaaaah! It is that shitty.”

  10. why can’t steven pretend to be gay in his own state? annoying. and what a dumbass, comparing obama to stalin! I’d love to read that one, but no, why give her a hit. and the fact that Palin’s approval rating now is high amongst republicans, well, no wonder they lost.

  11. You know what no one voted for Stalin – he was a dictator (!) and guess what not enough people voted for Palin so joy of joy she is a loser!

    Keep the madness it’s cool and so fashionable

  12. OMGGMAB says:

    And isn’t it cowardly that Church Lady won’t come out and reveal Trigger’s real mommy?

    And I think the reason Prop 8 was voted down is because most Californians thought it had something to do with shooting things from prop planes. That’s an idea they got from, um, the Church Lady and her love of “air hunting.”

    Not to worry, my gay friends, you deserve equality and it will happen!

    Now to quote my favorite SNL line, “Bitch may be the new black, but black is the new president, bitch.” Ha!Ha!

  13. hammie says:

    Bitch may be the new black, but black is the new president, bitch.”

    My new affirmation.

    The other great thing about S.P. is that in spite of a world food shortage due to biofuel whatsits, and the whole, you know, ah, credit crunch and ah world recession. She wants to save also americans from satirical media; because ah, you know she thinks you might ah think it’s real. LIKE SHE DOES!

    Coming from a country that is also a continent, I was also prone to confusion about the difference between each, UNTIL I WAS 8 !

    xx

  14. Ann says:

    You don’t have to quit her! She may very well never leave! Despite the unbelievable drivel that spews out of Church Lady’s mouth, there are still 64% of Republicans who want her to run in 2012! But we can still laugh at her and gloat.

    Laugh at her hatred of intellect, because it is something she does not and cannot possess. Gloat that Church Lady and other Fundamentalists have to face up to the fact that the real America – the open-minded, progressive, idealistic, tolerant America – has issued a referendum. Enjoy watching their fear grow as America progresses beyond them.

    It’s the best reality show ever! Except Rock of Love. Sorry. I love that shit.

  15. BubbaZ says:

    Sister Wolf,

    I think Ms. Palin was misquoted in the interview you cite. I think what she actually said was not “also Americans”, but “all slow Americans.” That would be more in keeping with her disdain for all non-real Americans that live outside Alaska.

    Ta, Z

  16. David Duff says:

    Ladies, I beg of you, please comment on this because I am in need of guidance when it comes to female fashion – the little ‘Memsahib’ occasionally draws blood when my response to one of her not-so-little numbers fails to reach the correct laudatory level:

    http://criscohen.typepad.com/cris_cohen/2008/11/post-election-dress-analysis.html

  17. susie_bubble says:

    I’m glad the McCain camp are leaking all kinds of goss about her…what an effing sham!

  18. Cricket9 says:

    Oh for f…sake – Obama=Stalin? I’m Polish woman whose two family members were put in prison by Stalin’s regime for no reason (someone reporting that they have said something against the said regime) and were very, very lucky to eventually get out in one piece and not too damaged – I’d like to give this Russian Lady a good whack in the jaw. As for Sarah – how the hell did she ever get her present job? I’m a recruiter and I have to find better candidates for an office clerk!

  19. annemarie says:

    Cricket9– you should totally give that Russian a whack in the jaw!

  20. OMGGMAB says:

    And just for fun, go here for as my dear sister said to me “Sarah, Sarah, Sarah . . . still so much fodder for conversation!”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/erica-heller/how-do-i-thank-thee-sarah_b_142329.html

    By the way DDuff, I loved Michelle’s dress, not because I know so much about fashion, but because she looked beautiful in it. Paint ball? Please. Must we be insulting just because she was exulting? Leave it alone.

  21. Sonja says:

    BubbaZ – ‘all slow Americans…’ hilarious! good one. but I think she meant ‘I sadly have to concede that you are also Americans…’ – either way she expresses her disdain.

  22. Bex says:

    Palin=crack.

    Who should we make fun of now?????

  23. cker says:

    Bex I think Sarah still merits our upmost attention. She won’t walk out of the spot light and shut her effing mouth so she remains a target in our sights ( pun intended). Additionally, we still have not been told the truth about baby Trig. I won’t rest until the truth is out! I can’t let it go! She is the biggest liar and hypocrite next to W and Rove, and Cheney. If you can stand a bit more of Palinesque humor I think there is so much to rip on!

  24. Imelda Matt says:

    I’ve got plenty of spare time on my hands so I could ‘take care’ off both problems – it’s the least I could do!

  25. cker says:

    Imelda please grace us with your insight, wit and wisdom. Palin is rearing her lipsticked pig head again! Have at it my friend!

  26. HelOnWheels says:

    Ok, which one of you put together an on-line survey I took a few days after the election??!! Fess up. I had to rank how much my vote was influenced by a list of rumors and lies. Included on the list was “Sarah Palin is not the real mother of Trig”!! Which one of you did that?

    SW, this Russian blogger is full of shit! I’m from the USSR (well, what used to be the USSR) and know more than she does. Does that stupid wench realize that the US just elected an intellectual as President? Does she realize that the despot, dictator Stalin imprisoned more intellectuals, artists, and scientists than Hitler? Does she have ANY f**king idea what she’s talking about? I am not surprised that she wrote something like that though. My entire family thinks that Obama is a Muslim, is part of a terrorist sleeper cell, that he’ll destroy Israel and the US, and that all the whites will become 2nd rate citizens under his administration. As a rule, many Russians are racist. Like your Russian blogger “friend” and like most uninformed, racist, ignorant people, my family should be ignored on most political issues.

    Finally, you are not alone in your addiction. I look for bad news about Caribou Barbie every day.

  27. hammie says:

    Caribou Barbie? EXCELLENT!
    xx

  28. OMGGMAB says:

    Caribou Barbie and Moosehead Ken need to fade into the Alaskan shadows. It is dark nearly 24-7 this time of year in Alaska, so they can easily take cover of the night. Just let your children see the light. Run Bristol, run Willow, run Piper. And Triggy, just hang on tight to mommy’s boob while she tries to get away from the right wing nuts she calls parents. Track, well what can be said, you’ve already fled, but in a sick, perverse way, since Barbie and Ken sent you off to war.

    But don’t fade away UNTIL WE GET TRUTH! Answer our questions, Church Lady, and none of that gibberish, ” ‘I make no apologies’ for giving misleading information.” Who brought you here and when are they coming to beam you up? 2012? That’s funny. . .You’ll be in a land far. . . far. . . AWAY!

  29. Mark says:

    Still full-on hating that Alaskan twat. What’s weird/nice, though is that I still get a little choked-up when I think that Obama is our president. Corny, but true.

  30. Ann says:

    Mark – I do too!

  31. arline says:

    I feel like I can tell you this joke, as it is Godammit.com and all…

    What is the difference between Sarah Palin’s vagina and her lips?

    A> Only %20 of what comes out of her vagina is retarded.

    Terrible, but I thought you might like it, and find it to be true 🙂

  32. Sister Wolf says:

    I just repeated that joke last night. Not great but it’s all we got until someone tells us another one.

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