The Savvy Shopper

Somehow over time, I have managed to sign up for updates at fifty thousand shopping sites. It takes me hours to sift through this shit daily, but I don’t have the will power to un-register from any of these lists.

Today I looked at Ron Herman, a swanky hipster boutique in Los Angeles that carries all the usual designer jeans, ugly terrorist scarves and   cropped leather jackets. Ugh. I scrolled down dutifully and saw this new ring by Vivienne Westwood. $875, and kind of nothing looking.

But I said to my self, Self, I bet that ring is much cheaper in the UK. I went over here to and Bingo! $328, using the currency converter!

How much would you want to kill yourself if you’d bought this ring at Ron Herman?!

I am the savviest shopper you’ll ever meet. When I watch Dexter (a GREAT series on Showtime,) I find my self thinking, Oh look, she’s wearing a James Perse shirt that costs $145 unless you find one of those online coupons. I think about this really quickly but often end up having to ask my husband what just happened. He stops the show using our magic Tivo-like thingy, and angrily explains what’s going on.

Anyway, I am full of shopping knowledge that is mostly useless but occasionally comes in handy. I have a personal relationship with every one of the Shopbop models, and I know where you can get those ugly Rats by Sass and Bide in a new PVC-look fabric.

If only I can stick with my new conviction that ordering shit online will never, ever lead to fulfillment. I have a shoe store under my bed to prove it, and stacks of jeans that I barely recognize. We’ll see if I’m capable of learning anything.

If you didn’t listen to my latest radio appearance, then you won’t know that I ended up talking about the Mexican celebration known as Day of the Dead. Here is a beautiful photo of me and my niece with a Blue Demon Guy, who gave me a piece of candy.

* Stay tuned for the Crazy Mother Club, coming soon.

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10 Responses to The Savvy Shopper

  1. Mark says:

    Not only will you save $500 by buying the ring on-line, you won’t risk getting into a car accident in the Fred Segal parking lot. Both the Melrose and the Santa Monica locations’ lots are treacherous, what with the drug-addled Olsen Twins zipping around in their Range Rovers, and all the other selfish SUV-driving whores.

  2. WendyB says:

    Wow — good shopping around!

  3. hammie says:

    I’m still halfway through your broadcast. I just can’t get past the Top End police report. Part 2 today.

  4. I can’t get the ruddy podcast thing to work!
    How weird to read a post about shopping again….

  5. WHAT??? You know where to get the Rats in a new PVC look fabric??? PLEASE tell me tell me tell me, email me, use ESP, smokescreens, snail mail, anything!

  6. K-Line says:

    You two are gorgeous! Have you seen WendyB’s scary skull ring? Very cool like this.

  7. enc says:

    You deffo know your stuff.

    How are you going to control yourself with the upcoming shoe sales?

  8. dewayne says:


    completely forgot about compulsive shopping during the smear fest……
    i am ridiculously poor and insane.

    i get new clothes when the ones i wear start falling apart…and then i keep the falling-apart ones.

  9. Sister Wolf says:

    Mark – You said it. Too true.

    WendyB- Thanks!

    Hammie – How did you like it???

    Make do – PLEASE make it work. Sorry about changing the subject…it’s for my mental health.

    fashion herald – Done.

    K-line – Oh god, Wendy’s ring is the shit, much nicer!

    enc – I’m gonna have someone lock me in my room.

    dewayne – Are you saying you need me to get you some clothes? Because you know I will.

  10. Danielle says:

    Yay for Day of the Dead! Sue me, but I think it’s way superior to Halloween. I was going to make sugar skulls, too, but it was too rainy in Portland and they wouldn’t set correctly….

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