Is Mrs. Palin a Human Life?

Is Mrs. Palin a human life? This is a critical question for me, not to mention this great country of ours.

Dr. James Dobson, a lunatic evangelist, spoke with Mrs. Palin oh his radio show today. It was an orgy of mutual ass-kissing that only a full-fledged Christian Zombie could stomach. It was god this, god that, with a nice emphasis on “special needs children.”

Mrs. P was happy to praise herself for giving birth to little Trig, who is god’s special way of showing his blessing.   She revealed that she had spent much of her pregnancy on her knees, ahem, praying for guidance.

Now of course, she loves those special needs kids so much that she is speaking against a Colorado initiative that was designed to help the state’s developmentally disabled population by raising the sales tax by one cent for every ten dollars spent in the next two years.

Also too, Mrs. P cut in half her own great state of Alaska’s funding for its Special Olympics program.

Once you’ve recovered from the interview, if you have been so privileged, you can go to the Pray For Sarah page where there is a cute little graph of the whole Palin family.

Mrs. P is reportedly scheduled to give her first policy speech tomorrow, “highlighting her commitment to families with special needs.”   If god is out there, couldn’t he smite her down with lightning? Couldn’t he choose her to suffer for our sins, rather than make us suffer for hers?

I know I speak for Dr. Dobson and everyone else when I say that I appreciate the sanctity of human life. But does Mrs. Palin herself actually qualify? I see no signs of this. All the more reason to get those medical records!

Are you wondering why Little Piper is carrying a $6,000 Louis Vuitton handbag? Oh, you, don’t be gettin’ all excited and thinkin’ that Mrs. P is planning on KEEPING that expensive stuff from Saks and Neiman Marcus! It’s all goin’ back! You know how Neiman’s lets you go around with your purchases and then lets you give ’em back! Some of it is going to charity, of course.   Heaven knows, disabled kids love them some Louis Vuitton!

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24 Responses to Is Mrs. Palin a Human Life?

  1. Tobi Lynne says:

    Yep. She could use a good smiting. Smote? Smoting? Whatever.

  2. Sal says:

    Dang. I thought that image of Piper was Photoshopped. I feel a little nauseous now …

  3. There are words on this side of the Atlantic for those who usurp expensive brands and endorse them into the gutter. They’re called skangers here in Ireland.
    The UK labels them chavs. Hilfiger, Burberry and Louis Vuitton have been so blessed to have such as their endorsement. It’s the parents I blame.

  4. enc says:

    The LV completely distracted me from the real issues you present here. I don’t know why a kid is carrying one of those.

  5. annemarie says:

    does anyone think little Piper’s head looks a little askew in this picture?
    like it’s facing the wrong way?

    is Piper an EXORCIST BABY?


  6. Ann says:

    EW! The only thing worse than James Dobson is James Dobson AND Sarah Palin together!

    May I get your take on that homely young woman in Pittsburgh who claims a man mugged her and carved her face with a backwards “B” because of her McCain sticker? Smacks of Morton Downey, Jr. and his fake Neo-Nazi attack in the SF Airport, no?

  7. cybill says:

    Will this election campaign never end?!! Just vote Mr Obama in guys, and then everyone can get back to work.
    Also, I agree, the kids head is on backwards, which is unfortunate because Ms Palin just cut funding to the “keep your head on straight” campaign.

  8. honeypants says:

    Yes annemarie, I totally agree with you. Her head is NOT RIGHT! Satan is certainly involved somehow.

    I can’t wait to listen to the interview, but it will have to wait until tonight.

  9. HelOnWheels says:

    Based on Descartes’ “I think therefore I am” postulate, Mrs. Palin does not qualify as existing as a human being. Thus, she is not a “life”. So, smite the cow!

    And I have to say that the $150K she spent on clothes was useless. She still looks cheap and trashy. Saying that at home she and the fam are frugal is amusing to me. So, basically, she’s only a spendthrift on the taxpayer’s dime?

  10. Juri says:

    Piper Palin’s special need #1 is to be rescued from her family before it’s too late.

    If the Palins are allowed to keep her she’ll be pregnant at 14 and a propaganda robot at 16.

    Run, Piper, run…run away and never look back!!!!

    Her mother will go away in 11 days but not for good. She’ll run for president in 2012 and I don’t even want to imagine what kind of a freak she’ll have as her running mate.

  11. Juri says:

    “[…] we are calling all Christians to say an extra prayer for Sarah”

    All right, here’s my extra prayer:

    Dear God, make her go away and stay away. Amen. Yours sincerely, Juri.

  12. annemarie says:

    Dear God,

    Please organize for one of your soldiers to exorcise Sarah and Piper Palin. This is ridiculous. Ok, ok, I know what you’re going to say, “Oh ye, of little faith” and all that, but save it dude– I am pissed off with your inaction and dilly-dallying. You better fucking sort this shit out. I thought the meek would inherit the earth, dammit. What the fuck is going on up there? Yeah, HEAR MY FUCKING PRAYER. I’m going to go to the Other Side if you don’t get your act together.

  13. Sarah P says:

    I hate her!!!! She has sucked the life out of me so badly I cannot even write. I just hate her! Sister Wolf, my answer is no she is not human life. Thus, I vote for her demise! Someone please save me!

  14. Isn’t that Louis Vuitton a fake?

  15. hammie says:

    I go with Make Do, except that I think even real Louis Vuitton looks fake so why bother. Besides, Statement Bags are SOOO 2007.

  16. Mark says:

    That bag is trash–like something an Alaskan tourist might buy on their big trip to Indianapolis.

  17. Sister Wolf says:

    Tobi Lynne – with a scythe, how about smite with scythe?

    Sal- even if it’s a fake….go be nauseous.

    Nick, I LOVE chavs, but skangers are new to me.

    enc -this kid must be sold to the gypsies AT ONCE befoe she starts wearing Jimmy CHoos.

    Annemarie -Oh no, it’s backwards….shit!

    Ann – yeah, PATHETIC, and no one will get blamed either!

    Annemaire – Thank you for speaking to Him.

    Cybill -PEople need to know about the Head!!

    Honeypants, – Do we know any excorcists on mySpace??

    Helonwheels – thanks for backing me up on this.

    Juri -Run Piper, run backwards if your head won’t spin around!

    Sarah P – I know you’re deteriorating. Can you trun to alcohol for the time being?

    Bex – Damn right.

    Mad DO – Is it?

    Hammie -yes, the LV conundrum, I hear you!

    Mark -SHe’s only 7! She should get back to licking Trig’s hair.

  18. I have dibs on the next VP candidacy, but I’ll need $200,000 in clothing and accessories.

  19. The sane would do no good if they made themselves mad to help madmen-C.S Lewis

  20. Buy Boat says:

    Fantastic points. I previousally to spend alot of my time wakeboarding and playing sports. It was probably the most special period of my childhood and your post kind of brought back me of that. Cheers

  21. Im loving my new iPhone. Ive had some connection issues but seems my bumper has helped lots. Anyone know when the next generation of the iPhone is going to come out?

  22. Dd says:

    This is a sick and very sad website. It probably a site that thinks Casey Anthony a cold blooded killer of her daughter is an angel and a woman who keeps her baby rather than kill it because it will not be perfect in physical and some mental ways is the devil. May God ( which everyone you serve even if it’s yourself) forgive you. Sad how this wonderful country the greatest at one time has become a hot bed of hate for those who still have the dream that Ronald Regan helped us regain. God please bless. America .

  23. derp says:

    “the dream that Ronald Regan helped us regain.” Yeah okay then…I mean come on project STAR WARS and REGANOMICS were amazingly well thought out projects that made complete sense. Maybe you are dreaming since you seem delusional. They have every right to make fun of Pailin since she makes it so godamn easy being such a moron.

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