Sister Wolf Breaks It Down

A reader calling herself Kim asks: “Don’t you people have anything better to do than judge other people? I can’t believe how rude you people are!!”

Kim, let me answer you this way: NO, WE DON’T!

Here at, we judge people. We figure that the good lord gave us the ability to make judgements, so why not exercise it? Like the great Gustave Flaubert, we are “severe mais juste.” Strict but fair.

In PAP Smear news, Mrs. P was unable to define “preconditions” and agreed to reveal her medical records IF she does in fact reveal them. Good to know!

In a new interview with People Magazine, Mrs. P and Todd “The Bully” Palin are asked “Who’s the better cook?” Mrs. P answers (god bless her heart) “I’m a better cooker.”   Hahahahaha!

Okay, I have been asked to list “11 Things” about me, and I feel it is my privilege to let the people of this great country and any other land mass to know these eleven things:

1. I buy and hoard red lipstick.
2. I have two adopted adult children who I met in cyberspace.
3. I’m afraid of squirrels.
4. I hate my next door neighbor, Alec.
5. There’s no such thing as too much coffee.
6. I’m blind without contact lenses (and with them, at this point)
7. I once got married in Tijuana, using fake ID.
8. I love “Free Bird.”
9. I am relentless in arguments about word usage.
10. No one will tolerate my singing.
11. I’m planning to launch the Crazy Mothers Club (CMC) for the daughters of crazy mothers, after Nov. 4.*

* Sign-ups on November 6

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32 Responses to Sister Wolf Breaks It Down

  1. Imelda Matt says:

    Dumb ass bitch – both Palin and Kim!

  2. OMGGMAB says:

    Those donkeys are are the crowning glory! Who the hell prepares that woman and overlooks something like that? The spin, of course, will be that she’s reaching across the party lines. And let’s not overlook that she’s a fashionista. Donkeys are the new Bears, don’t ya know?

    Oh look, my vote scarf has just arrived! It looks great with my PAP Smear t – especially the cute embroidered elephants!

  3. Sal says:

    Squirrels scare me, too. All that darting and tail twitching …

    Today I saw a bumper sticker that said “Mavericks for Obama” and thought of you.

  4. honeypants says:

    I’m glad you like “Free Bird” too! It’s embarrassing, but so do I.

    So I read that People interview you linked, and I swear, she speaks like a bullshit essay answer — the kind you wrote when you didn’t read the assignment!

    And then there was this little gem…

    Alicia also wondered if you had any more unique names up your sleeve.
    SP: We did. We never got to get our Zamboni in. I always wanted a son named Zamboni.
    TP: I don’t think that would have flied.

    Seriously? Zamboni? Or was she trying to be funny? And you’re right, Todd. I don’t think that would have flied either…

  5. enc says:

    The statement: “Here at, we judge people. We figure that the good lord gave us the ability to make judgements, so why not exercise it?”

    I just love that. Love it.

  6. Sarah P says:

    WHY? WHY? WHY? Do I put myself through this? I know it will make my blood boil. Still I find myself never shying away from reading about this heinous bitch! For some reason I followed the link to the PEOPLE story. I think I’m only half way through it and I cannot handle reading their idea of how to use the English language. I hardly think I can because called an elitist. I sleep on a couch in a 1 bedroom apartment with a married couple. The stipend I get from AmeriCorps comes out to about $700 a month. I am poorer than Phillis! However, I know when to use an adverb instead of an adjective. I guess in fairness this is probably the least troublesome thing about these assholes.

    P.S. I was on the bus last night and started singing, “If I leave here tomorrow….” Then I laughed to myself and wondered why on earth I was thinking about “Free Bird?” I guess the power of Pap Smear transcends all.

  7. I love the judgement Kim exercises when she judges us judging others. That’s the funny bit of my post done.

    I would dearly love to meet a non-judgemental person of any stripe at any time in any place, Kim, but when dangerous people give us so much evidence to judge them by, it behoves us to make that call. We may do it in different ways, but so what? Importantly, there’s nothing more certain in my mind than the fact that McCain/Palin is a six year old with a matchbox in tinderstick country. That’s me making a judgement that I believe is important and necessary to make. And I’m happy to have a little soapbox here to make it on.

    Plus, foul-mouthed women are hot.

  8. jools says:

    oooooo I can’t wait to join CMC. Unfortunately I’m not sure in what capacity….I may be the crazy mother. Can I still join?

    Squirrels are terrifying! And dangerous!

  9. Danielle says:

    I agree with Imelda Matt….

    What is this life without a little…wait…a lot of negativity and crapping on stupid douchebags? Seriously. LOVE IT.

  10. HelOnWheels says:

    I’ve been sitting in judgment of others for decades, Kim. It’s a fantastic hobby. Thanks for asking.

    I’d like to thank Kingdom of Style for directing me here. Thanks, Sister Wolf, for helping me stay sane and making me realize that my Palin Derangement Syndrome is normal and common.

    BTW, do you think that PAP Smear t-shirts can be considered campaign wear and will not be allowed in to polling places on Nov 4th?

  11. Please continue to judge Sister Wolf!
    Palin gives us so much material, it’s impossible to resist.

  12. honeypants says:

    Ever since Hurricane Gustav finished off the oak tree in our front yard, the squirrels have moved to the hackberry to the immediate left of our porch. When we’re sitting out on the porch at night, the squirrels rustle around, throw things, and chirp. I was just complaining to Mr. Honeypants last night that the squirrels were scaring me! I don’t mind them in the daylight though.

  13. Juri says:

    Palin may be one heckuva cooker but I betcha she ain’t much of a toaster or a freezer, guys and gals!

    If she indeed releases her medical records, they will probably be released in at least as dodgy manner as Grandpa’s. Nothing may be copied or taken out of the room, the pages will be unnumbered and the pages about her latest “pregnancy” and other juicy parts will be missing. No questions will be allowed.

  14. hammie says:

    I hate Grey squirrels, quite partial to a Red. I also hate Clowns, Puppets, Puppet Clowns, circuses and circuses with Puppet Clowns and puppet theatres,
    Street theatre performers pretending to be statues, Street theatre performers with puppets, crazy itinerant people using prams for carrying things other than children, Advertising campaigns involving puppets, Dogs in clothes, Puppet dogs with clothes.

    Sis, I have to be nice to people all day so at the end of the day I NEED to come and sit by you and bitch about everything.

    And I am so tickled you finally did a tag.
    Now you can have my BB award and I want Annemarie to photoshop you into it!

  15. Sarah P says:

    Fellow PAP smearers I am sorry if I failed to see that this was already brought up and even if one of my brilliant coalitioners already pointed this out, I am sure having it more than once just means we all know whats up. Ok there is no way she can release her medical records!!! If she were to do that we would find out that our suspicions about baby Trig were absolutely right. Holy smokes, that broad totally knows this is the one time in her life to keep her mouth shut. I think she even realizes that this is one lie she will not be able to save if the records come out showing she was never knocked up!!!!!

  16. have you already blogged about Alec? i’ll have to do a little archive digging. I’m with hammie on clowns, but particularly clown dolls. Scary.

  17. Sarah P! There will be no medical records. How the hell can Kurt Russell get knocked up? He doesn’t do screwball. That’d be the Governor of California you’d be referencin’ there and also.

    Also two, on a general note, I have $175,000 here lying around and I’m running low on t-shirts. Can anyone tell me if PAP Smear is available in Niemann Marcus where I exclusively shop?

  18. annemarie says:

    hey kim! SUCK MY COCK!

    Sarah P– you rule!

    Honeypants– you are so cute!

    squirrels– you are rats with tails! Fuck off and leave Sister Wolf alone!

  19. honeypants says:

    Can I please pimp my nephew’s new blog? He’s very politically minded, a freshman in college, and a great writer. He needs readers and comments! Thanks!

  20. K-Line says:

    You are hilarious, Sister! And you are very interesting. Fear of squirrels would be a tough one in TO. They’re everywhere.

  21. Sister Wolf says:

    Imelda Matt – yes, it’s a 2 for 1 bitch-sale

    Tobi Lynne – I think the scarf is a good photoshop hoax, dammit

    OMGGMAB -Send a pic of you in your shirt if you have one!

    Sal -Why doesn’t someone invent Squirell-B-gone?!?

    Honeypants -I’ve asked that Free Bird be played at my funeral!

    enc – It’s my stock reply to “I don’t want to be judgemental…”

    Sarah P – FREE BIRD!!!

    Nick -Beautifully said. (Motherfucker!)

    jools – You’re in.

    Danielle – Imelda is a good person to side with!

    Helonwheels – Good question. I’ll bring a jacket!

    Iheartfashion – She is a rich source of awfulness, yep

    Juri -I need Trig’s birth certificate, and not the fake one!

    Sarah P – Let’s see how she tries to get out of this one.

    Honeypants – I went & let a comments. xo

    K-Line – Why are they everywhere though?!? Is it a sign of the apocalypse? Mrs. Palin must know.

    Nick – I just saw a pic of little Piper carrying a Louis Vuitton handbag….just spend that money at Louis Vuitton!

    annemarie – YES, they are rodenty, take them away!!!!

  22. Okay, maybe I am pointing out the obvious, or perhaps Donkeys and voting mean different things in my country. But the term “Donkey Vote” means to make a stupid vote that doesn’t count. Like writing “Darth Vader” on your ballot form. Is this just SP advertising that voting for her is a complete joke? Like I said, I may be pointing out the obvious, but I haven’t seen anyone mention it here or on the originating site.

  23. Juri says:

    SW- Even if she did show a birth certificate stating Bristol is Trig’s mother, and Bristol’s delivery video were shown on every channel, she’d still get away with her lie and her fan base would believe she is the mother.

    She’d just look straight to the camera and say how grateful she is for a document and a video that clearly prove she is the mother. Then she’d lash at Obama, terrorists, the “mainstream liberal media” and “Washington elite” and give a little shout out and a few slogans before closing the conference with her favourite mantra about “reforming” the government, getting the economy back on track and bringing opportunities to special needs families.

    She did that with the troopergate and she did that with the warderobegate. She’ll do it with this one as well.

    Once again, I hate that lying hypochritical bitch more than I can handle without pouring some vodka in my morning coffee. When she is called out on her $150 000 clothes she just dismisses the whole thing as an example of “double standard” with female candidates and wishes issues were discussed instead of clothes and hairdos.

    “That is not who we are”…”That whole thing is just, bad!” …..”Oh, if people only knew how frugal we are.

    I wonder if I could shoot her from a helicopter and say it was a hunting accident or plead insaninity. They shoot horses, don’t they, so what’s a big deal with shooting a stupid cow in Alaska?

  24. David Duff says:

    So heartening reading all you feminists and knowing that the female of the species is as full of love, tenderness and caring as, say, my mother-in-law, especially when it comes to encouraging and enabling other women to break through that … what’s it called? … oh yes, glass ceiling. Keep it up, girls!

  25. Sister Wolf says:

    Juri – you are so right. You’ve nailed it. But let us not denigrate the noble cow.

    David -This isn’t a feminist cell, this is just a bunch of people who are insulted by the ignorance and hubris of a small town bully attempting to flirt and lie her way into the job of Vice President. I know you want her babies but apparently she has hung up her spurs, so to speak.

  26. Mark says:

    Kim- I hate you, you filthy twat.

    David Duff- Duh.

    SW- You’ll be happy to know that The Good Ed ran over a squirrel a few weeks ago. Squirrel guts everywhere!

  27. ‘a bunch of people who are insulted by the ignorance and hubris of a small town bully attempting to flirt and lie her way into the job of Vice President.’

    That is such the perfect summation of it!
    If god forbid the worst happens and she gets to be President on that…
    nightmares, absolute terror.

  28. Sister Wolf says:

    Woodley park zoo, don’t even think it!

  29. Aja says:

    Okay first lemme say, that picture above is AMUH-ZING. Never fails to put a smile on my face. Now onwards to serious business.

    You’re afraid of squirrels, meanwhile my mother has a vendetta with one squirrel in particular whom she thinks teases her. He used to eat all the tomatoes and at one point, she kept a rotten tomato by the window. When my best friend asked why there was a rotting tomato sitting on the window sill, I tried to explain as rationally and straight faced a possible that my mother was keeping it to throw at the squirrel she hates.

    Yes, I’ll be joining your club.

    PS- I hate my neighbors too. Not all of them, just the lone republican (who takes great pride in decorating her lawn with McCain signs and stinks up our hippieville with her killjoy spirit) and this couple who I use to do slave labor for at their pretentious little used bookstore. Besides those three, the rest of the neighborhood is awesome. But I go out of my way to snub that trio. Like it’s my job.

  30. Sister Wolf says:

    Aja – Okay, good! (I’m not your mother though, am I??)

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