Love, Boobs and Antidepressants

I have been reading about neurochemistry and the effect of serotonin on relationships, and some new studies suggest that antidepressants are not the free lunch some of us were hoping for.

Not only do the SSRI drugs dampen the libido, they can fuck up your relationships. They can even inhibit the neurochemical activities that are involved in romantic love.

This is a little alarming. Many of my friends and enemies are on one or more antidepressants, and we are all authorities on which ones are energizing (Welbutrin) or sedating (Remeron). We know which ones are too constipating (Cymbalta) and which ones have the worst withdrawal symptoms (Effexor.)

Most of us are less interested in sex than we used to be, but many of us are lucky enough to have partners who will rise to the challenge. They know that if we stopped taking our meds, we’d be impossible to live with, so our increased sex drive would be a moot point.

While reading about the biochemistry of love and attraction, though, I was happy to see my own theory of female sexuality confirmed: It’s all about oxytocin.

As long as we’re secreting oxytocin (which is stimulated by breastfeeding and orgasm) we are driven to connect and nurture. Oxytocin leads us to form bonds, basically. Any woman who has nursed a baby can tell you this. Oxytocin equals bliss. When male voles are given a shot of oxytocin, they want to be clingy and monogamous. When autistic people are given oxytocin via a nasal spray, they are better able to make eye contact. It even increases trust and empathy.

Here is the important part, men: If you pay more attention to our boobs, this will make us love you more, and continue to love you without straying. It will make everything better. When you come home from work, don’t complain about the traffic and how much you hate your job. Instead, play with your partner’s boobs!

Back to the SSRI problems, I don’t know what the long-term effect on our society will be if no one wants sex and people stop falling in love. Maybe we’ll adapt somehow, or maybe we’ll decide it’s better to be depressed because we hate ourselves than be resilient but sexually numb.

In any case, let’s all make sure that everyone’s boobs are properly attended to, and that everyone keeps taking their meds until reality is more tolerable in larger doses.

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21 Responses to Love, Boobs and Antidepressants

  1. I’m sending this to my husband! I’m not on any anti depressents, have breast fed three kids and want sex more than him – even I want to fondle Salema’s boobs they look so great!

  2. I’m quite imaginative in my playing with my girlfriend’s boobs.. although she seems to prefer “Pet the Kitty” to “Ping Pong” and “Jai Lai.” And “Cracking the Safe” drives her nuts.

    Seriously, one clueless girlfriend actually said, “Why do you concentrate so much on my boobs?”

    “Because I have elbows,” I replied. “Yours are no novelty to me.”

  3. P.S. I forget to mention that we men, too, like having our nips stimulated, although I prefer love bites to clothes pins, mouse-traps and jumper cables.

  4. Juri says:

    Yes! This post has made me realise how terribly selfish and inadequate my New Year’s resolution was. Therefore I have decided to improve my “Eat better, drink less and get back in shape in 2009” program with an additional point: “Fondle more boobs.”

    Yes we can. Yes I will.

  5. Mr MDS is horrified by my portrayal of myself and is considering dosing me up but as a consession is offering a Cato style surprise!

  6. I won’t dispute the importance of boobs, but I have to say that for me, breastfeeding was sheer hell. And I went into it gung ho, did natural childbirth with a midwife, intended to breastfeed for at least a year. Even though the lactation nazis tried to convince me that I would irreparably harm my child, I gave up after 10 of the most unpleasant days of my life, and immediately felt SO much better.

  7. sleepy says:

    Salma’s chest is magnificent!
    I always pay attention to boobies!

  8. Den Deni says:

    I breastfed my son for two years and all it got me was two years of sleepless nights (yeah, well there’s a a huge bond between us, but teenage hormones override the two years of breastfeeding). Before I got pregnant I was a 32A and after two years of breastfeeding I was and still am 36C. I’d rather be a 32A. As for antidepressants, there’s gotta be a better solution. I hate seeing my friends and co-workers in near zombie states where all they can do is function and not much more. Didn’t someone write a book about Soma or “somathing” like that? Are we there yet?

  9. Skye says:

    Can’t comment about the anti-d’s as have no personal experience (very lucky). Can comment about the breastfeeding though (almost 2 years of it) – definitely made me all bond-y and nurture-y, but libido was zero (most unlike me) throughout.

  10. my man was on wellbutrin for a week and was hallucinating – has anyone had this problem? I’m going to play with his breasts all weekend.
    And i’d just like to have Salma’s breasts for a few days. Or a week.

  11. john cramer says:

    come on – five minutes ago looking at a woman’s breast was chauvinistic neanderthalism or some such. Even when they were heavily on display.
    What happened to look them in the eye and have equal intelectual conversation.

  12. Hey, John.. the little sadists like to keep us off balance and guessing..

  13. HelOnWheels says:

    Personally, to get the right “balance/mood”, I mix my anti-ds with some FDA/DEA monitored speed. FAN-F**KING-TASTIC is what it is! But well attended to breasts are more important than getting a nice balance with your HMO-sponsored addictions.

  14. Den Deni says:

    Newer Antipsychotic Drugs Kill Patients by Causing Heart Attacks

    You can’t trust them for a minute . . .

  15. Sister Wolf says:

    Make Do – Me too!

    Dexter – Speak for yourself, pal. Some men want Hands Off their nipples.

    Juri – Hahaha, you are a fucking saint!

    Make Do – Haahahaha, oh dear.

    Iheartfashion -Aww, sorry to hear this. I hope your husband will make this up to you, boobwise.

    Sleepy -Magnificent, good word for them.

    Skye – Same here, both kids.

    fashion herald – Nope, but there are forums where people tell HORRIFYING stories about their experiences with antidepressants.

    john cramer- I meant, pay attention to the boobs of your partner or girlfriend, not the boobs of strangers.

    Dexter- Exactly.

    HelOnWheels -Damn right.

    Deni – You can’t make me click on that link!

  16. lisadom says:

    matching Skye with a 2 years and I gotta say I felt like a McDonalds drive thru for the second year which was not really my choice, as Bratty would line up at the menu board regardless of my wishes.
    But having had a sister lose one and then recently regain it along with a little lift for its partner. my sister has a great rack now! So yeah, I get it.
    As for the Anti-depressants? I wonder if we could just give each other more space it might make it easier to live without them. I know if I could just date my husband, and avoid him whenever either of us was in a shit we would get along much better.

    (and being constipated cannot be good for the libido huh?)

  17. marmalade wombat says:

    poor flat chested prudish women who do not have babies.

  18. don julio says:

    I dunno. I’ve actually been prescribed antidepressants during rough parts of my life, and I refused to take them. It’s funny, because I’m definitely not a puritan about putting things into my body (booze, cigarettes); but I just felt like I didn’t want to go down that path. I’m glad I didn’t, because it proved to indeed just be a phase.

    I feel like people over-medicate, get on the antidepressants too soon, when many of them could just get out of a rut by walking their dog, doing yoga, or changing things about their lives. Or having more sex!

    Sure, there are those who truly have problems with their brain chemistry, people who would probably kill themselves if they didn’t use antidepressants…but for anyone less, I would stay the f*ck away.

  19. Michael says:

    salma’s chest is best one.

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