Meet Madonna’s Personal Trainer!

Today I read a thing about Gwyneth’s expensive new gym in New York, and her partner/personal trainer, Tracy Anderson. Tracy is also Madonna’s personal trainer, and she takes credit for creating Madge’s controversial body.

If you check out Tracy’s website, you can see a gallery of photos that highlight her sinewy pelvis. There’s probably something wrong with me, because the lean pelvis looks painfully deprived of flesh AND a little too much like a young boy. Call me crazy.

Tracy actually looks more like a nice little troll in real life, and that is comforting. But I knew she was a liar after reading that she only lets Madonna lift 3 pound weights. Girl, don’t play us like that!   Anyone who’s ever lifted weights knows that is bullshit!

Tracy likes to pontificate on her fitness philosophy, which includes the promise of looking young until you’re 100. She talks about it here and all over the place.

However, other people like to talk about Tracy. TMZ talks about some lawsuits against Tracy, and shared her mugshot.

Other people like to talk about how Tracy ripped them off, here.

I was so excited by all this that I went back to Tracy’s website, where if you click on “About Tracy” you will find “A Letter From Tracy,” where she talks about a time in her life full of “bummers.” She whines about being too “trusting” and how she has overcome adversity.

Yay for Tracy! Now I’m happy. I hope Gwyneth and Madonna know all about the “bummers” but if not, oh well, they’re both as lean as beef jerky, and that’s what matters most!

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16 Responses to Meet Madonna’s Personal Trainer!

  1. Solo says:

    Very masculine..hihihi;D
    I love your post anyway.;D
    Have a nice day..

  2. marmalade wombat says:

    haha i just read in the trash mag: “fitness fanatic GP has run into some strife while trying to launch her newest business venture – an upmarket gym. P’s gym costs $6800 to join and hundreds of dollars a month in fees and even high-end consumers are baulking at the costs. P and her famous personal trainer TA are so desperate for customers Anderson has reportedly been personally cold-calling potential members to drum up business”. interesting in this economic climate to be launching something so… needlessly extravagant? esp cos richard branson recently launched his line of gyms that went the total opposite direction – being more affordable, and cutting the contract fees and red tape.
    btw – the body shot is disturbing. it looks all odd. like a flip book with various body parts from different ppl cut and pasted together. so synthetic… =s

  3. Yes, she sounds like a classic con artist.

  4. Deni says:

    Since we’re on the subject of health I thought I would just drop this link in here. It’s a petition for health care rights. Please read the petition. It’s all good as the surfers say. If you agree with it please sign it.

  5. drollgirl says:

    she looks HORRID.

  6. three pound weights! Madonna! hahahahaha!!

  7. john cramer says:

    It is show biz – don’t you know.
    Could you handle the truth?

  8. hammiesays says:

    just me, or does Tracey have sliding doors haircut in that mugshot? Single white female anyone?

  9. Bex says:

    That top pic looks like one of the Olsens. THEN it would make sense.
    Bit too skinny for my taste…i bet she’s got NO ass.

  10. Sister Wolf says:

    Solo -Thanks you, I’ll try.

    marmelade wombat – Eeoow, you’re right!

    Iheartfashion -And yet, Gwyneth and Madge are eating it up!

    Deni – Cool, okay.

    drollgirl – The others in her gallery are even more creepy.

    fashion herald – HAHAHA, as if!

    john cramer -No.

    hammie – she is not happy in that mugshot, correct.

    Bex- She is staunchly against asses! She says she makes sure that Madge has no extra flesh on her ass!

  11. diane says:

    Wow, you tell it like it is. That is some pretty good detective work.

  12. I realise the bummers she is talking about must be the ones with flesh on their backsides!
    Honestly when is this stupidity about made up exercising going to stop! I know you have to lift heavy weights to get any results or starve yourself!!

  13. Loz says:

    3kg makes sense as she doesn’t want you to bulk up (madona is skinny not muscley).

    She’s not even that thin on her fitness DVD’s and there’s a thing called photoshop for photos…

  14. Good l ist! Despite the fact that I would not take into consideration Nickelodeon a great identity update.

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