More Stupid Balmainia

God almighty, it just gets worse. I came across this tragic t-shirt at Ben Sherman (where I went after seeing some Ben Sherman trousers somewhere else, after spending what seemed like five hours of frenzied searching for the shoes I vowed not to buy.*)

Who actually started this military/marching band trend?   Was it Balmain, or was it Philip Lim? I see no end of it in the forseeable future. And I plan to make the most of it! I am going to savor every minute as the look makes its way to Forever 21 and Walmart.

Fashion trends seem more and more desperate. Just a few short years ago, I tried to sell an elaborately beaded Balmain suit on eBay, and I ended up getting $30 for it. I couldn’t understand why people weren’t dying to own it! It was fucking Balmain! But no one seemed aware of Balmain except for me and the old lady who manages the thrift-shop where I bought it.

Now that actress/disloyal label-whore Jennifer Connelly has dropped Balenciaga for Balmain, the whole thing has clearly jumped the shark. Don’t feel hurt, Balenciaga! Jennifer Connelly wasn’t even loyal to her own nose!**   Or to eating!

* Don’t worry, I didn’t buy the shoes.

** For more exciting celebrity plastic surgery, go here.

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14 Responses to More Stupid Balmainia

  1. WendyB says:

    I’ve always thought Balmain was inspired by bloggers!

  2. Dexter VanDango says:

    Don’t you dare pick on my Jennifer!

    She’s generously shared her breasts with me in a dozen movies.. and I think they’re kosher..

  3. honeypants says:

    Jennifer Connelly really upsets me. She was so pretty before she became a corpse!

    Thank god you didn’t get the shoes. And the marching band look is retarded like that! I’m so glad I can’t afford to be in fashion. I wouldn’t want to have to wear that.

  4. David Duff says:

    As you are stuck with these dancing band outfits perhaps you could make the best of a bad job and learn the trumpet!

  5. Danielle says:

    I don’t get it. The Jeffrey Campbell Mels on our site have a waiting list of about 400 people, because they look like Balmain. Shiiiiiiiiit.

  6. Jill says:

    Military, Sailor, Safari…I hate costume fashion.

  7. When Michael Jackson is wearing something I think it’s officially jumped the shark!

  8. Sister Wolf says:

    WendyB- WOW, that’s amazing! Now, make it go away!

    Dexter – I loved her big breasts, too. What did she do with them?

    Honeypants- Ditto, and ditto.

    David – I couldn’t agree more.

    Danielle – I’m going to go have a look, but I’m scared.

    Jill – Well said. I am going to have to quote you.

    iheartfashion – One would hope so!

  9. Icy says:

    She also wasn’t loyal to her eyebrows, where did those cute furry caterpillars go? I still love Labyrinth though….

  10. reddoorread says:

    anyone who buys that ben sherman t-shirt isn’t allowed to be my friend.

  11. Nicole says:

    That website is enough to put me off plastic surgery for life. Now in favs and if I even so much as grimmace at a wrinkle in the mirror I’m back to that site to remind myself of what goes wrong – and to monied people!

  12. Mie says:

    haha, balmainia 😀 I have seen it at the MOST mainstream store chain in Norway as well (Bik Bok) you are hilarious and brilliant!

  13. Sister Wolf says:

    Icy – I would give anything for her original brows.

    redddoorread – Certainly not!

    Nicole – Good, you shouldn’t fuck with your face, ever.

    Mie – It’s like Swine Flu, an epidemic!

  14. hammie says:

    I got lost on the plastic surgery site and have only just found my way back. Nicole Kidman must be the only celebrity on earth who looks like her Madam Tussauds Waxwork. xx

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