More Whining About Leather Shorts

Still suffering from the irrational and inappropriate longing for leather shorts, I was thrilled to find this hideous pair above, by Derek Lam, for $1,450 at Saks.com. It’s always nice when your unwholesome shopping fixation is chipped away by images or associations that ruin the whole idea of whatever it is you think you need.

Look at this atrocity below by YSL, also at Saks, for $1,950.

Horrible, aren’t they?

Here’s a pair by Juicy called “Moto Leather Shorts” that compounds the “Moto” problem with a ruffle at the hem. Yay!

My craving is starting to wane, but it’s still troubling. To make it even more tragic, the Huffington Post featured an article yesterday that asked: “Can Women Over 5o Look Great in Jeans?

I resent this stupid question on every level. What the fuck does “great” even mean in this context? Do they actually mean “thin?” Maybe women over 50 should just kill themselves rather than be subjected to more critiques of this nature.

How about this: I have a pair of nothing leather pants that I could cut off to make shorts. Is this a viable plan? Or not?

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36 Responses to More Whining About Leather Shorts

  1. XuXu says:

    I agree with you about the Huff post article.
    I thought the same thing yesterday when I saw it.
    My mom is 66 and looks far hotter than most
    25 year olds in jeans.

    and.

    regarding the chipping away at obsession things:
    same thing happened with my first “love.”
    loved loved loved loved him…even after
    he crushed my little teen heart…

    but then I saw his thin hairy legs.

    chip chip EXPLOSION of Obsession!!

    xuxu
    http://www.frenchshelter.blogspot.com
    home of the recipe for Sweet Sperm
    –only 29 followers to go!!

  2. Faux Fuchsia says:

    These leather shorts don’t speak to me.

    How come no one ever asks whether Men over 50 can look great in jeans?

  3. sarah.p says:

    So … just to clarify … do those legs represent the physical ideal these days?

    Just wondering.

  4. Look step away from the leather shorts, they are not cool, not ironic even in a Sound of Music way. This is my top tip as a stylist you will get a sweat rash at the top of your legs and you’ll be finding your knickers get very ruined too.
    Cheery aren’t I!

    As for that Huffington Post article it was an advert for really rubbish boring bland clothes fro women over 50. If the article is factually correct then the woman who designed the line did so due to being ignored as a TV producer after the age of 50. I’m being judgemental here but her clothes line hardly say wow or sing creativity in abundance.

    When your 50 have fun, go for it, jeans aren’t your biggest concern quite frankly. If like Sister Wolf you can wear them and look good then do so if not don’t worry there are more options to looking good…but not leather shorts.

  5. Pudfish says:

    Thank you Sister Wolf for posting these pics, I too have an inappropriate yearning for leather shorts but this is totally successful aversion therapy, all three pairs are deeply tragic. Actually the middle pair is not too bad….No,No I will be strong! Good point by FF about how come no one asks whether men over 50 should wear jeans .Women always get subjected to this type of tosh (can you wear short skirts /long hair over …?.etc); I think it’s just that women are more sensitive/insecure/eager to fit in and so will read this stuff, a man would just ignore a similar article aimed at men and go directly to the sports pages…

  6. Dru says:

    Those YSL things whould look great if they were a skirt. So, so close….but the Derek Lam ones are strange, they’re hardly even true shorts- they’re bermudas.

    Re: the jeans question, I can’t be bothered. I hate jeans, and would grab any excuse for giving up on them for good.

  7. Cricket9 says:

    The shorts are horrible, all of them. The legs too. You’ll get over them, (shorts, not legs) Sister. What a deep question by the Huffington Post, “can women over 50 look great in jeans”. The answer is: yes and please fuck off.

  8. Aja says:

    I’m with Make Do Style. Nothing good can come of this. Just forget about them and move forward to the next plausible trend.

  9. anne says:

    your nothing leather pants–how fitted are they in back? leather shorts potentially reek streetwalker, right?–so they have to be counteracted by being not too short, not too tight, leggings worn underneath, your top is modest, etc. basically they have to be cancelled out as much as possible by the rest of the outfit–however pointless that end equation sounds. if you don’t value the pants and they aren’t too fitted, I’d say, go for it and chop them off. I too am fatally attracted to black leather shorts so you have my sympathy!

  10. I bloody well hate any of those “age appropriate dressing” articles or books. Fuck that! Wear what makes you happy, and you’ll look great at ANY age. Men don’t bother with this nonsense and neither should women.

  11. Jill says:

    I totally think you could rock leather shorts. What about adding a longish tuxedo jacket, cool t-shirt, black leggings and boots? You’ve got the tall, lean body for it.

    I actually kind of like the high waisted pair.

  12. Queen Michelle says:

    Right Sister Wolf, that’s it – I’m sending you leather shorts! Who cares if it’s a trend or not – if you like them wear them. Seriously, I’m emaling you and getting your address and you will have a pair of leather shorts by the end of the month!

  13. I don’t mind the YSL shorts, but they work best, alas, on a youthful body (20 and under). Still, I’m sure that there is a great pair of leather shorts for someone over 50. I’m counting on Queen Michelle above . . .

  14. Stuti says:

    When will they stop? Is it not enough that everything we wear is already scrutinised according to our bodies and age that they have to include jeans to that list too?
    Wear what you like Sister Wolf. Wear leather shorts (oh, and cut off the leather pants!) if you will, just please dont wear them in the heat. Rashes are not pretty.

  15. Iron Chic says:

    I think the middle pair look mildly flattering, no?
    Why not search for a perfect, second hand 80’s pair? Try Etsy….

  16. Ann says:

    Oh shit, I actually kind of like the Juicy pair. Juicy! UGH! Kill me now.

    If the leather pants are really nothing, I say cut them. I feel like at least you’ll get this whole thing out of your system.

  17. Actually Queen Michelle can wear leather shorts and wear them well! And is probably the only person I think can and should – plus probably find perfect pair for Sister Wolf. Everyone I’ve seen them in looks slightly Hitler Youth.

  18. Liz!! says:

    What about leather CAPRIS? 😉

  19. Bessie the Buddha cow says:

    1) Don’t cut the leather pants. Everything that was old that I tried to “cut” to make new turned out to be regrettable.
    2) Unless someone pays your bills, don’t pay any attention to his/her advice (including any by me), so say fuck you to the Huff Post for being so fucking bourgeoisie about 50 year old women and jeans (I’m 52.8 and all I wear is jeans (junior-less expensive) and I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks (unless they pay my bills).
    3) Don’t wear my fellow fallen brethren for a fashion statement. Bury the poor bastards, and think of cotton, cotton, cotton for short shorts, hot pants, Bermudas, etc. There’s no logical, rational, aesthetic reason for sweaty, sticky, leather pants designed for summer attire. And the price alone makes me want to throw up my cud again!
    Signed with much love,
    From this backsliding heifer shading under a Bodhi tree

  20. GlamaRuth says:

    You and Queen Michelle are among the few that would look right in leather shorts, at any age. If she can’t find you a suitable pair, look under the vintage section of Etsy. I was gripped by a similar mania last week and there were several pairs well under $100.

  21. Artful MJ says:

    Moto ruffles?

    Speechless.

  22. annemarie says:

    The Derek Lam ones are the worst. They look like proper Lederhosen.

    Yeah, cut your pants up, but only if:
    1. They are nice and baggy-ish (so as to produce somewhat of a “slouchy” effect that is de rigeur for leather shorts and helps with not looking like a prozzy in them).
    2. They have pockets (also helps with the “slouchy” effect).
    3. They can be cuffed (see above).

    Otherwise forget it. Anyway, you don’t even wear skirts.

  23. patni says:

    i am with queen michelle. Do it. Orphans will not expire, little kitties will not be rendered homeless, these are tragedies. Leather shorts are just fun.Fashion is just play dress up for grown ups anyway. Dont let teh rule makers get to you. Fuck it. Wear what you want. Nothing truly bad will happen.

  24. TheShoeGirl says:

    Ewwwwwwwww! The first pair are atrocious. Barf.

  25. The top pair looks like something from The Sterile Cuckoo. LOL

    Oh, and I’m over 50 and I think I look pretty good in jeans, but I look even better naked. At least I think so.

  26. Sonia Luna says:

    I hate those “age appropriate” articles, they always seem to suggest we turn into boring farts, so depressing! Fuck them, I’m looking forward to be as inappropriately dressed as possible the older I get, I’ll wear a fucking tutu if I feel like it (… although I doubt I ever will … but you never know!).

  27. WendyB says:

    I think the YSL pair would look very hot on you!

    I can’t stand “dressing for your age” articles.

  28. dust says:

    Would you actually ever wear them, if you had them? What happened to a Shopbop return policy abuse? It’s time to give it a shot.

  29. lizzifer says:

    That’s one knock-kneed Derek Lam model.

  30. Alicia says:

    Don’t cut the pants!!!

  31. kate says:

    If you have leather shears, go for it! (Otherwise maybe a cardboard cutter?)
    Subtly cuffed (to hide the edging) leather short shorts could prove brute-chic.
    Ohh! Taking a cue from Rick Owens you could throw the leather in the clothes dryer first to soften it up and give it patina. That is, if your dryer was ever fixed after that ex incident.

  32. OMGGMAB says:

    Um leather, summer, NO! I wait way too long for sunshine and the ability to clothe in all cotton to contemplate leather wearing in the warm season. All of them are ugly anyway.

    With regard to the women wearing jeans when we are over 50. HELL O. The history of jeans is older than anyone living today. If my ancestors could don a pair of jeans while throwing hay and midwifing, then I certainly can wear them whenever and however I want. Looking good in them? Well that is a subjective perspective and I will not be scrutinized. I will wear whatever I damn well please. I’ve earned it, you 25 year olds!

  33. leather purchaser says:

    I fell into the spell of leather shorts and finally bought a pair (on sale!). They are, dare i say, the perfect pair. Not too short, not tight at all plus the perfect length without looking like bermudas. The search was endless and fruitful i-may-add. And YES i am 51 and cannot wait until i get my nerve up to finally wear them.

  34. leather purchaser says:

    FYI: They are made by Danier leather (Canadian company) and cost $49.00 CAD. Worth searching for.

  35. JD says:

    Heck, I actually really like the 2nd pair. I’d like ’em better if 1) they either didn’t have pleats or had 2 on each side, and 2) I could tell if they had pockets or not. No pockets, no dice. Pockets are an empowerment issue for me, especially with “bottoms” I actually had an Oscar de L gown’s skirt recut to put in pockets because I refused to be without my “little necessities” at an embassy function. But, while I’m not really a big fan of wearing leather on the bottom half (just don’t enjoy the friction thing) I don’t see why folks think that second pair is so tragic. The other two do seem pathetic– painfully introducing nonsensical elements in an effort to seem… Ironic? Unique? Quirky? Modernly, snarkily cute? Of course the idea of paying almost two thousand dollars for such a small percentage of a cow is kind of off-putting…

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