My Prince

my price

I thought of him as my own Prince, the voice I danced to in my living room when nobody I knew liked Dirty Mind except for me.

On New Year’s Eve at the close of 1998, we went to an awful party at a neighbor’s house but when they put on 1999, I felt that surge of euphoria only Prince can ignite.

I think I even fell in love with my husband while we watched Prince on TV, dancing around in buttless chaps, on a set decorated with flaming torches.

There is so much more but don’t you hate the way people want to make Prince’s death be all about them?? I did see Prince live but maybe you did too. It’s not about what concert we went to or wish we’d gone to.

It’s just about what music means to us throughout our lives. You cannot overstate its significance, but you don’t really know it until you lose that artist who was always there for you, to lift your spirit or console you through the worst heartbreak.

I love Prince so much! He was my little Prince. I was so jealous of Wendy and Lisa and even whatshername, that one in Purple Rain.

I don’t get how someone so magnificent and full of life can just be gone from the world, poof.

I haven’t processed this loss but added to the others it feels more and more like life on this planet is drained of joy and hope and purpose.

I want Prince to come back and Max too. I don’t know how 2 celebrate this thing called life without them.

If you’d like to share something about Prince, even your favorite song, lay it on me.



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18 Responses to My Prince

  1. Diane says:

    I’m so stunned. I think about death a lot but Prince is someone whose death I have NEVER imagined so I was totally unprepared. I’ve loved him since I was around 12- I’m 40 now and still drop everything an call in sick whenever he does a UK tour. I still can’t fully get my head around the fact that he’s gone. My favourite Prince song- Paisley Park. Girl on the see saw is laughing for love is the colour this place imparts. It sounds like a beautiful place to be.

  2. Kellie says:

    Its all so sudden and shocking. Its very hard to process. I wasnt a huge fan, but was used to him just being around. You never knew when you were going to run into him, just out and about, living life.
    He wasnt a hidden person, in the way that you would literally just SEE him at the grocery store. With bodyguards, so no one got insane with him. But he just lived his life.
    And now, he wont just be around. And its terrible and strange, and awful.

  3. Sam says:

    Nah, no emotional outpourings from me, just wish people got so sad and upset and shocked about ordinary folk dying everyday – innocents & those who never had a chance.

  4. Sister Wolf says:

    Diane – Same here, never imagine Prince could die. I can barely type the words. It’s great that you called in sick. What more could he ask from you?

    Kellie – Yes, terrible strange and awful.

    Sam – Well, sure, death and loss are sad, especially in war or natural disaster or cancer or murder or suicide or car accidents. All bad. But when our heroes die before their time, it’s reasonable to mourn them and reflect on the ways they affected us. Don’t you think?

  5. betty says:

    As it was when David Bowie died…and my mother…and my beloved dog…it’s the part of me they’ve taken with them.

  6. Sister Wolf says:

    Betty – YES. Thank you for articulating this and condolences on your losses, with atheist prayers and blessings. xo

  7. Kellie says:

    Ordinary folk die everyday. They have their families and friends who are affected. People who didnt know them, why would it be anything more than a shame to people who had no idea they existed?
    Prince died-we all grew up with him, and felt like we knew him. Through the music, the movies, Paisley Park.
    Prince is a serious loss, and people are sad on a very large scale. The mourning doesn’t diminish the everyday Joe who died, it celebrates a fabulous life millions of fans shared in.

  8. Thank you for this post. I’ve never cried when a “star” has died, frankly, I seldom cry at all, but I sobbed uncontrollably after I heard that Prince had died. I understand what Sam is saying, but whether it’s Prince, David Bowie, Ellsworth Kelly, or any artist or notable public figure that has inspired a person profoundly, I think most people would agree it feels like a horrible sucker-punch to lose that person.

    Prince was the soundtrack of my youth, and his unabashed style and individualism definitely gave me the green light to be my own person. I was a non-Catholic in a very strict and controlling Catholic school, so Prince was a godsend for me and several of my friends.

    I only went to one concert, but it provided one of the most memorable moments of my life. My sister and I were backpacking around Europe with no itinerary and saw that Prince was playing in Munich (Nude tour). We hustled there and got our tickets, pretty much mid-row. I don’t know what came over me, but I grabbed my sister’s hand and said, “Let’s go to the front!” It was easily done. We got right up to the stage, and at one point, during one of his many incredible guitar solos, he leaned over and his sweat dripped down on my face. That may seem gross to some folks, but I felt anointed. Perhaps I do have a tiny Catholic living in my head;) The man smelled amazing and I considered not bathing for a while, ha ha.

    I hope that does not come off as “all about me,” I just wanted to tell that story since prompted. And justified or not, his death is a profound loss to so many, and to so many who may never realize it.

  9. Also, if you find any time, a Hideous Denim post might be helpful for those who are heartbroken right now!

  10. Sister Wolf says:

    Suzanne – Amazing story, and no, not so much about you as about the power of art – in this case, Prince – What a transcendent experience! I love knowing that he smelled great even though DUH o f course he would!

    Thank you! I feel like I was there with you and your sister.

  11. Thanks, Sister. I’m going to see if I can dig up a photo when I get some time. I fear we took no photos. Well, the memory is burned in my head, so I guess that’s good. And a HUGE thanks for the Hideous Denim post! My day just got a lot better:)

  12. David Duff says:

    No doubt to your relief, Big Sis, I failed to comment on this post concerning the late, er, Mr. Prince for the simple reason that I had never heard of him – yeeeeees, quite! Anyway, by way of recompense I thought you might be faintly amused by this piece in The Spectator by Tom Hollander, a thesp by occupation:

  13. Sister Wolf says:

    David Duff – It’s not nice to ridicule anyone’s feelings of sadness and loss, even if you find those feelings baffling or idiotic. Just letting you know.

  14. David Duff says:

    But … but … Big Sis, I wasn’t ridiculing your feelings which were plain and palpable, and nor was Mr. Hollander who was, if anything, ridiculing *himself* in typical British style. When i told you that I had never heard of ‘Prince’ that was the truth and you know that I would never knowingly hurt your feelings not least because I wouldn’t dare!

  15. Sister Wolf says:

    David Duff – Oh, okay then. I’ve never heard of that Hollander guy, a lessor sin than not knowing who Prince is, but his writing is worthless and so is his estimation of Prince. Hollander can go fuck himself. Me and my girlfriends are so distraught over losing Prince that we might need to get tattoos of the symbol he used – never mind. I wish the memsahib could explain it!

  16. JK says:


    I’ll admit to having to pull out my hankie at the news of Prince’s passing. I’ll further admit to having done so on two such occasions with “mere musicians” in mind.

    Possibly three times but 1980 was so long ago and, I was soon after I heard the news so professionally drunk I can’t keep straight just what brought my blubbering. [Whether the musician or, on the very day … I do recall it being one hectic 24 hours … I left the uniformed services, I got served with divorce papers.] Whichever brought the tear as I best recall was the one I never saw coming.

    So sad was I (1980) I re-enlisted.

  17. Suspended says:

    I liked your use of “2”. Nice touch Sister 😉

    I was never really in love with Prince’s persona but I did love his music. I was as shocked as everyone else. I always imagined Prince would be rocking us all in to old age, like Roy Ayers; Still on this planet making great music at 76yrs old. The thought of Prince not fulfilling a long, creative life is tragic.

    Everyone always compliments my handwriting. What they don’t know is that when I was about 14 I copied the typeface from the back or Prince’s “I Wish U Heaven” 7″ which had the lyrics printed down the back. Every time my pen touches paper there’s a little bit of Prince on my page.

    My biggest fear now is that his massive body of unreleased work gets churned out and shit on by profiteering snakes that have no desire to follow Prince’s very public principles. I watched the Kevin Smith video where he states that a member of Prince’s staff told him there are more than 50 expensive pop videos for songs that have never been released, all in Prince’s vault. I want to hear new music but not if Prince didn’t want us to hear it. I’m cool with that. I’d rather his integrity be maintained but, admittedly, I also like the idea of him still being with us, still being able to surprise and delight us, still helping complete our lives soundtrack.

    I guess through all of his controlling ways and totally eccentric possessiveness, life taught him the biggest lesson…you can’t take it with you. His music is flying up on Youtube now and he isn’t around to stop it, something he spent a great deal of time and money trying to manage and maintain and for what?

  18. Sister Wolf says:

    JK – I hate thinking of your sadness. But I love your sensitive soul.

    Suspended – Your handwriting, fantastic!!!!! The rest, I share your worries. But perhaps he deliberately didn’t leaves instructions for anything, not even a will. Maybe he knew it was more than most people can ask to have control of things in this life, let alone the next one.

    I’m going 2 try to go with this thought, because it’s comforting.

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